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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22861966">It doesn't change anything between us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/someone_worth_racing_for/pseuds/someone_worth_racing_for'>someone_worth_racing_for</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Formula 1 RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Asexuality, Carlos gives his best to understand him and his feelings, Coming Out, First Relationship, Fluff, Lando being the dork he always is and Carlos being the dork who loves that dork, Lando has a big secret, Lando in pyjamas is just the cutest thing ever, Lando is afraid Pinon will sense fear instead of the milkshake he had, Lando is asexual, Lando meets Carlos' family, Lando meets Carlos' friends in Madrid, Lando tells his family about being gay and in a relationship with Carlos, Lando's little sister has a crush on Carlos, M/M, many tears and fears, much love, they are all there for each other, they go for a football match, we will get to know about Lando's secret in chapter 3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 05:47:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>62,649</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22861966</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/someone_worth_racing_for/pseuds/someone_worth_racing_for</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your hearts."</p><p>"Did you just quote Winnie The Pooh?"</p><p>"Maybe."</p><p>"Alright. But at least I hope you meant me and not your first place trophy."</p><p>"Maybe." Carlos smirked, before he looked over his shoulder at his trophy standing on the nightstand behind himself. He then winked at his boyfriend, who did only roll his eyes in response. </p><p>"Sure I meant you, mi amor. And now come over here, so I can finally cuddle you. You are softer than the trophy anyway."</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>Or the one in which Lando had a very big secret from his boyfriend.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexander Albon/George Russell, Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen, Lando Norris &amp; Sacha Fenestraz, Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>98</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>196</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the first race weekend after the summer break. It had felt more than just great being back in his car for the practice today. As much as Carlos loved it to spend some quality time with his family and friends at home during the summer, he was looking more and more forward to do his dream job as a racer again the longer the break did last.</p><p>But since a few months there was also another big reason why he did enjoy it so much to spend his time in Formula One. Actually it was even a small reason in the form of his favourite, cute team-mate. Lando and he came perfectly along with each together, as a team and as best friends.</p><p>Carlos had missed the younger one over the summer, they had barely seen each other and then not even for one whole day long, not even mention it to spend some time alone together, just the two of them to have some fun and enjoy each other’s company.</p><p>But now they were reunited and together they did enjoy the sunset, offside of everyone and everything. It felt so great to be back again, back at the race track, back at the team, back in his car and overall back next to Lando’s side. It was Carlos’ birthday today, but still they also remembered about what had happened yesterday one year ago. Everyone thought about Anthoine and his big lost in their world.</p><p>It were many emotions rushing through the Spaniard’s body at this moment, while Lando and he were sitting here in the middle of this peacefully place they had found about two hours ago. It was close to the track, they had a pretty good view down to it from where they were sitting in the middle of the grass on top of the little hill, but an even better to the beautiful sunset in front of them.</p><p>They were sitting on top of a small retaining wall, so they could swing their legs all carefree. Behind them, at the same high of the wall, was a big meadow, enclosed from many trees. It was still warm, not so warm like back in Spain, but it was still comfortable outside. It was so quiet and beautiful here.</p><p>The sunset did colour the sky into almost every colour of the rainbow. But at the same time there were already stars and also the moon visible and the crickets behind them in the small forest section already started to sing their songs.</p><p>Carlos and Lando were both laying back at the meadow, their legs still hanging over the small retaining wall. With their hands behind their heads, they were looking up at the so beautiful coloured sky above them and talked about everything and nothing. The two team-mates talked about their summer holidays, about Anthoine, about the qualification tomorrow, about Carlos birthday, just everything that popped into their heads.</p><p>This was also quality time for Carlos. Spending some time alone with his best friend. Carefully he sat himself up to take in the breath taking sunset of the day. Lando imitated him, set himself up as well and watched with a smile playing on his lips the setting sun. They both went silent, just enjoyed this place here, the sunset, the silent, each other’s company.</p><p>The Spaniard closed his eyes for a few moments, while he inhaled the clear, so good-smelling late summer air deep inside his lungs. He only opened his eyelids again, when he felt Lando’s eyes on him. Both smiled at each other, when their eyes met and like always when Carlos caught his team-mate staring at him, he blushed in that so cute way, but still he didn’t look away.</p><p>The Spaniard knew it or at least he suspected it. Lando must have also feelings for him, his beautiful eyes were telling him so and the older one asked himself if it were the same deep feelings he had for him. Carlos could feel it in the way he was looking at him, the smiles he gave him, the way his eyes did shine, how much he had opened up to him since the day they had met. Carlos knew it, but still he kept quiet.</p><p>Waiting for the right moment to do the right thing, whatever that will be. He didn’t know it himself yet, but he just hoped to know it, to feel it, when that moment will be here. Till then, he will enjoy the precious way it was between the two of them.</p><p>The Spaniard wasn’t looking, when he pulled his hands back, to support his upper body. Their fingers first brushed lightly, but it was already too late to pull away when he even placed unwanted half of his left palm right on top of the back of Lando’s hand.</p><p>A wave of this warm, electrify, beautiful feeling rushed through the older one’s body by the contact, like whenever their bodies touched, but still he didn’t pull away. Because he didn’t want to. In contrast, he let his hand right where it was on top of Lando’s and even began to stroke with his thumb over his over the summer so tanned, soft skin.</p><p>With big eyes they were both watching their hands, like they didn’t belong to them. When Lando’s eyes snapped up to his team-mate, Carlos was already looking down at him with that warm, soft smile on his lips.</p><p>The young Brit beamed back at his friend with sparkling eyes and this so loveable smile. Carlos still touched his hand and stroked him with his thumb all gently, when he whispered into the silence “I have missed you.”</p><p>He could watch Lando’s cheeks heating up, but his eyes just began to shine even brighter and his so perfect formed lips gave him one of the sweetest smiles ever. “I have also missed you.” The younger one whispered and caused so to melt the Spaniard’s heart away.</p><p>And right then he knew it. This was <em>the</em> moment, the right moment to do the right thing. Actually Carlos had always thought he didn’t know what he had to do then at that moment, but he was wrong the whole time long. Because he exactly knew what he had to do right now.</p><p>He even couldn’t hold himself back any more, after so many months watching his best friend, worshipping him and his being, when he did frame his cute face carefully with his right hand. Lando did lean instantly into his touch and even closed his eyes for some moments, to take it all on.</p><p>When Lando’s eyes fluttered opened again, he was surprised to not see his team-mate smiling any more. Now he was looking down at him with parted lips and eyes fixed on Lando’s own lips.</p><p>And before the young racer could even process what was going on, Carlos already leaned slowly forward, till their soft lips met for the first time. They kissed by sunset. It was all tender, carefully and very warm, like Lando had always imagined his friend to kiss him.</p><p>It was all what they had both ever wanted, ever dreamed about. It was perfect, while the night slowly woke up around them and their lips were still touching. Strictly speaking it was only Carlos, who was kissing his friend’s still in shock stiff lips. But the older one smiled to himself in relieve, when he could finally feel Lando response the kiss.</p><p>But that wonderful, overjoying feeling about being the happiest man on the whole wide world right now did only last for one quick, precious moment, before his team-mate pulled far away from him all sudden. Confused about his reaction, Carlos looked with still a half opened mouth at his friend and at the moment he saw Lando’s expression, he knew he had fucked up. He had done the wrong thing.</p><p>The young racer was all shocked, desperately and confused, while he looked with widened eyes at his best friend and shook his head in disbelieve. “No. I can’t do that. I can’t.” Lando whispered more to himself than to Carlos, but still the Spaniard did understand every word and it killed him slowly.</p><p>The older one just wanted to reach out for his friend, when Lando already stood up from his place and ran as fast as he could into the direction they had come from. And Carlos could only watch him running away, unable to stand up as well and running after him or at least calling his name, stopping him.</p><p>He was frozen, just unable to move even one limb. Lando had left him, he was all on his own. Carlos did make himself the biggest accusations, while he sat there in the middle of this beautiful summer night, with his face buried into his hands.</p><p>He didn’t know why, but suddenly there came back these pictures in front of his inner eyes about that one night, they had all spend together in Monaco over almost one year ago. Lando, Max, Daniel, George, Alex and he had spent one unforgettable weekend together, but it wasn’t only unforgettable because it was all funny, even hilarious. Carlos probably won’t ever forget these pictures, even when he hadn’t thought about it since a long time.</p><p>Because they had ended up in a random club on Saturday evening and there it happened. Or with better words, where it had <em>almost</em> happened.</p><p>Since they had entered the building, Lando acted different than before, almost strange. Nervous, uncomfortable, even scared. Sure the Spaniard knew that his team-mate didn’t like such places that much, but he really didn’t have to worry. He wasn’t alone here, they were all close to him. And they could have fun.</p><p>But still Carlos had asked Lando if he was alright, but the younger one had just nodded his head and told him there was nothing. The Spaniard knew it was a lie, but he didn’t want to force his friend to tell him anything he didn’t want to.</p><p>So he kept quiet and just eyed his friend even closer than before. While doing so, he noticed that one man standing opposite themselves and watching Lando the whole time long over the bar, but he didn’t question himself more than three seconds about the man staring at him, before he gave his attention back to his friends.</p><p>When Lando didn’t come back from the toilets, after he had told his older team-mate over fifteen minutes ago where he wanted to go, Carlos questioned himself about his being. Maybe he had met someone during his way back or maybe he had finally found George and Alex again, they were missing over already one hour, but at least they were missed together.</p><p>But Lando was all on his own, he should have gone with him. Carlos blamed himself already all worriedly and angrily and when he noticed the man opposite them, who had stared at Lando the whole time long, was gone as well, he counted one and one together and freaked out completely.</p><p>Carlos, followed by Max and Daniel, found Lando and the man close to the toilets. The disgusting, older man had pushed his friend against the wall, so he couldn’t free himself any more even when he was trying to do so with his whole strength.</p><p>And the older one had his dirty hands already under his team-mate’s shirt, even when Lando obviously really wasn’t okay with that, while he whispered something disgusting into his ear with his lips so close to his neck.</p><p>With his shoulders, the Spaniard pushed the man harshly away from his friend. Suddenly Alex and George were back again and watched how Daniel and Max pretend the man to get closer to Lando again.</p><p>“Are you alright, little one?” Carlos asked Lando quickly, while he did shield him with his whole body and rubbed his palms up and down his upper arms. There were tears of angst glistening in his puppy eyes, but still the young Brit nodded brave his head. Only then Carlos replaced his worry about his friend with rage against the man, who had just tried to lay a hand on his best friend.</p><p>“Hey, he is mine! Look yourself for another funny sized one. That one will go home with me tonight.” The man wasn’t even able to end his sentence, before Carlos already punched him hard with his fist into his face and caused his nose to bleed badly, after he had fallen to the ground.</p><p>“Come on, little one. Let us get you out of here.” The Spaniard said as calmly as possible, while he pulled his already silently crying friend into his arms and dragged him away from this place. Daniel, Max, George and Alex were walking the two of them out of the club like they were their bodyguards. Not letting anyone touch Lando for one more time or god forbid maybe even hurt him.</p><p>Max tried to get them a taxi, while George looked for some comfort in Alex’s arms. Carlos was holding his now bitterly crying team-mate, pressed his head lightly against his chest to protect him from the whole world.</p><p>He had asked him once more if the man had hurt him, but to everyone’s relief and for the man’s best, because otherwise Carlos would have run back into the club and would have punched him once more into his stupid face, Lando did node his head, before he buried his face into the Spaniard’s shirt. Daniel rubbed Lando’s shaking back up and down, trying to calm him down with it.</p><p>Carlos and Daniel shared a look over the young Brit’s head. They both knew it was very close. If they had started to look for Lando only one minute later, the man would have probably already abducted their little friend. The Spaniard didn’t even want to think about that.</p><p>When Max had found them a small, free bus to drive them home, Carlos helped Lando inside it and to sit down between George and Alex, giving him over into their care. Both rapped their arms instantly around their still sobbing and trembling smaller friend and pulled him close to them, while Carlos took place next to Max.</p><p>Daniel was busy with telling the driver their way to his flat, while the Spaniard made himself the biggest self-reproaches the whole drive long, while he could hear Lando still crying behind himself. Finally, Carlos buried his face into his palms and shook his head because he still couldn’t believe it how stupid he had been to let Lando get all alone to the toilets and not protect him better.</p><p>Max then pulled his arm around his shoulders and tried to calm him down with telling him that it wasn’t his fault. But Carlos disagreed with that and best he had wanted to shout at Max, at himself, at everyone, because it was all his fault and he also wanted to punch that disgusting guy unconscious to lay his dirty hands on his best friend, but just when he thought he would explore in the next second the bus stopped, being at their destination.</p><p>They all climbed outside, Alex and George helped Lando, who crashed into his team-mate’s arms instantly again. “It’s alright, little one. You are safe now. I have got you.” Carlos whispered down to him and his anger was gone from one second to the other. He couldn’t change what had happened, but he had to comfort Lando now.</p><p>In Daniel’s flat Carlos let himself and his team-mate still in his arms fall onto the couch. Lando stopped to whimper and cry, when he spotted his friend’s bloody and sore hand. “Carlos. You are hurt.” He whined shocked, sobbing deep between every word. Only then the Spaniard noticed his sore knuckles and blood smeared hand as well.</p><p>He tried to tell his younger friend that it was nothing and he really shouldn’t worry about him, but still Lando did. Daniel finally offered Carlos to take a look at it, clean and wrap a bandage around it. First the Spaniard didn’t want to leave Lando’s side, only when the younger one told him he should let himself get helped by Daniel, he followed the Aussie into his bathroom, because he knew Lando will feel better if he will do so.</p><p>When the two of them came back, Max had made the young Brit some hot chocolate. He seemed to be familiar inside Daniel’s flat, because he had also got him a blanket and had wrapped the warm material around his still trembling shoulders, while he petted softly his head and stroked his still tear strained face with the back of his fingers.</p><p>The tears were still running down to his chin unstoppable, when Carlos entered the room again and Lando made grabby hands at him instantly. “I really didn’t want you to get hurt because of me.” He whispered with big, glassy puppy eyes up to him, the second he saw the bandage around his hand. “It’s alright, little one. Don’t worry about me, I’m alright. It’s nothing.” Carlos did response, before he leaned down and kissed the top of Lando’s head.</p><p>After Max had stroked through Lando’s curls for one more time, he stood up and helped the other three to make their beds for tonight. Daniel had suggested Carlos and Lando to take his bed, but the young Brit said it was alright and he didn’t want to cause any more problems tonight.</p><p>Everyone told him that it really wasn’t his fault about what had happened and he shouldn’t say something like that. George, Alex and Max could finally talk Lando into it to take with Carlos together the couch for tonight. They were fine with sleeping on the ground next to them.</p><p>They had all tried to give the youngest some comfort after what had happened, but Lando only calmed down enough to finally find some peace in his team-mate’s arms. They all worried much about the Brit and hated themselves to let something like this happen to him. They should have taken better care of him.</p><p>That whole night long Lando was trembling in Carlos’ arms, while they slept on Daniel’s couch. At one point the young Brit flinched together so bad in his arms, that he even woke up from his sleep. “I have got you, little one. I will make sure no one can harm you any more.” Carlos had whispered down to him, when he got it how scared his body got once again.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Carlos. I really didn’t want you to get you hurt or to ruin the evening. I’m just too damn stupid to watch out for myself. I’m dumb and too weak.” Lando did response, new tears already glistening in his eyes and his lower lip began to shake dangerously once again.</p><p>“You really aren’t weak, Lando. And it’s not your fault that there are such pervert people with such disgusting thoughts out there. You are too good, too pure, too sweet for this world. And it’s my job to protect you from any harm. Don’t worry about it any more. You are perfect the way you are and I promise you to take better care of you from now on.”</p><p>The young Brit was too exhausted and tired to fight his team-mate about that he was indeed weak and naïve, instead he just gave him a sleepy smile and thanked him from the bottom of his heart about having someone like him in his life. Someone he still didn’t know he did deserve till today.</p><p>“Go back to sleep, little one. Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow we will have fun again. You will smile again and forget everything. You aren’t alone, Lando. We are all with you.” The Spaniard whispered into his curls, while the younger one laid his head back on top of his best friend’s chest and listened to his steady heartbeat.</p><p>“What would I do without you, Carlos.” Lando whispered, already half-way into the land of dreams. The older one kissed softly the top of his head, before he said more to himself than to his already fast asleep team-mate “What would I do without you, little. That’s what I ask myself every day.”</p><p>Max had probably thought they were all already asleep, when he got up and slipped into the Aussie’s bedroom that night. But Carlos was still wide awake. He just couldn’t find his peace after what had happened or what had almost happened. He didn’t bother about Max, but still Alex and George asked him the next day about it, when they woke up and he wasn’t lying next to them on the floor any more like they had fallen asleep last night.</p><p>Max just meant that he couldn’t lay on the floor any more. He needed a mattress and ended up in Daniel’s bed, because there wasn’t any place on the couch left anymore and he didn’t want to bother Lando after yesterday. The two young men seemed to be satisfied with that answer, but Carlos already knew right then, that it wasn’t the first night Max and Daniel had shared a bed.</p><p>And by the way there would have been still enough place for him on the couch, because Lando was half laying on top of the Spaniard that night. But Carlos kept that to himself, also about the way Alex had spooned George during the night and because they both were so comfortable with that, it probably also wasn’t the first time they were doing so.</p><p>Almost one year later, Daniel and Max were an official pair, they did also already live together, while George and Alex were also together, but their relationship wasn’t public yet.</p><p>But even when this all was already so long ago, Carlos still knew Lando was kind of traumatized and he didn’t like it at all to get touched by a stranger. He was alright with shaking someone’s hand or normal body contact, but the Spaniard already knew him way to well, when a situation made him feel uncomfortable.</p><p>Maybe that experience had caused everything to get even worse than it already was before. Lando was general shy and cautious, but now he was even more. And it was even him, his team-mate, his best friend that had just touched him without asking him before for his permission.</p><p>Carlos felt like that disgusting man. He had taken advantage of Lando without his will. He felt horrible, like a monster. He had abused his trust.</p><p>It really wasn’t his attention to force him to anything he didn’t want, to put any pressure on him, to bring him into a situation he wasn’t feeling comfortable and also didn’t want to be. The Spaniard really shouldn’t have claimed his body without his will. It was all too much for Lando. He still wasn’t over about what had happened that one night in Monaco.</p><p>But Carlos had always thought that Lando also had feelings for him, that he also wanted him. And for maybe one quick moment he really had, when he had kissed him back. But still, it was the wrong move and the worst the Spaniard could have done to his best friend.</p><p>When Carlos finally pulled his hands away from his face, he got it that it had finally become dark around him. His eyes did sparkle as bright as the stars above his head, while he could feel the tears building up. He had messed it all up. But why had Lando response his kiss first, before he had pulled and ran away from him, like he would hurt him as well? Carlos won’t ever do something like that, but obviously Lando wasn’t so sure about that.</p><p>Finally, he stood up with a heavy heart and did drag himself back to the hotel. He didn’t want to bother Lando any more tonight, he should better rest for tomorrow and Carlos also first had to think about what he wanted to say to him, to clear everything. Hopefully they could still be friends.</p><p>The night was awful. Carlos didn’t sleep much and when not good. Next morning he was the first driver at their hospitality and when Lando entered as well, Carlos greeted him like always, when he placed his arms over his shoulders and pulled him into his side.</p><p>“Forget about yesterday during the day, little one. Don’t think about it, you have to focus now. I don’t want you to get hurt. We will talk about it later. Everything is good.” The Spaniard whispered into his friend’s ear, so only he could hear it.</p><p>With big, very red and swollen looking eyes Lando looked up at him, grateful to have such a kind and understanding team-mate, before he nodded agreeing his head. Carlos moved his fingers gently through his younger friend’s sweet curls, before they started their day, pretending like nothing had happened between them yesterday evening.</p><p>The next time they communicated, was after the qualification was over and they were both in their hotel rooms in the late afternoon. ‘Can I come over?’ Carlos had written the younger racer a message, to which he did response instantly with ‘Sure.’</p><p>Never before the Spaniard had seen him like that, when Lando let him inside his room. The young Brit was all nervous and unsure, wasn’t even able to look him into the eyes for one second.</p><p>Carlos began instantly to talk about the thing they urgently needed to talk about. “Lando, hey. Don’t feel this way. It’s okay. I really shouldn’t have just kissed you. It was my fault. I should have asked you before if you even wanted it. I’m sorry for that. But you don’t have to be afraid, I won’t kiss you again and we can forget about it. Nothing has to change between us.”</p><p>The younger one still looked down at the floor, playing nervously with the hem of his shirt, while he nodded agreeing or at least understanding his head. Carlos swallowed, because on the one hand he was relieved about that everything was still alright between them, but on the other hand there was still one thing that did bother him since yesterday.</p><p>“Can I ask you something, little one?” He said softly and he took Lando’s silence as a confirmation, before he finally said it out loud “If you didn’t want me to kiss you, why do you have response it before you pulled away?”</p><p>Carlos really wasn’t expecting it, when his friend’s head snapped up at him, he looked him deep into his eyes and said with a strong, secure voice “Because I have wanted you to kiss me.”</p><p>Shocked and confused at the same time the older one frowned at his friend. He didn’t understand the world any more. “But.. I don’t understand. Did you want, did you like the kiss now or not?” Carlos asked, while he eyed his friend close, but he didn’t get smart out of his expression and behaviour.</p><p>With now a shaking and unsure voice, Lando tried to explain “I.. I just can’t do this. I need you to understand this even when you just can’t understand it.” Carlos still didn’t know about what his friend was talking about, but still he stepped closer to him and laid his hands in a hopeful comforting way on his friend’s upper arms to give him some comfort. “Hey, it’s okay, little one. Just tell me what’s wrong and we will figure it out together.”</p><p>Lando only shook his head in disagree, while tears build up in his still so beautiful eyes. “I can’t.” He whimpered between trembling lips and pressed closed eyes. In sympathy Carlos framed his cute face between his hands and balanced it, while Lando was still shaking his head. “You don’t need to, if you can’t, mi amor.”</p><p>Tears were falling over the edge of Lando’s eyes now, running down to his chin like little rivers. The Spaniard hated it to see him like that, this really wasn’t what he did deserve. “I just need to know three things.” Carlos continued and caused Lando so to look up at him with big, nervous eyes.</p><p>“Did you really want me to kiss you?” Lando nodded his head, even thicker teardrops were falling over the edge then. “Do you want me to kiss you again?” Quickly the younger one nodded agreeing his head as well to that question. “Do you want to be together with me?” Here Lando did hesitant for a few moments, looking deep into his best friend’s eyes while he thought about it.</p><p>Carlos was holding his breath the whole time. He didn’t know what the young racer was thinking. Maybe he was afraid about outing himself, maybe because Carlos would have been his first boyfriend, maybe he was afraid about not being ready for this. The Spaniard didn’t know it, but he also didn’t need to, because it was Lando’s and only Lando’s decision and he had to accept it.</p><p>But in the end his heart did still make a big jump inside his chest, when Lando nodded his head a third time between his palms. Carlos smiled all happy and relieved down at him and waited so long till he did response the smile in the same way, before he pulled him into a tight hug.</p><p>“That’s all I need to know, mi amor. You don’t need to tell me anything, if you aren’t ready yet. Come here, everything will be good.” The Spaniard whispered into his curls, while Lando hold himself onto his friend’s shirt by his back and cried quietly in his arms. Never before Lando had felt so understood and loved in his life before.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Right now we don't know anything about Lando's secret, but we already get to know about what it is by the end of the next chapter.</p><p>Till then, just enjoy the peace of their relationship.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey my lovely readers!</p><p>I know it's been a while, but here is the next chapter.</p><p>Actually I had wanted to disclose Lando's big secret already in the second chapter, but it would have been way too long, so I splitted it into two chapters.</p><p>But before we will get to his secret, just enjoy this sweet chapter right here with Lando being the dork he always is and Carlos being the dork who loves that dork &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Why don’t you close your eyes, mi amor?” Carlos asked with a soft smile on his lips, after their second kiss. Lando was safe in between his arms and still had teardrops running down his cute face, while he looked up at him like the angel he was.</p><p>“Because I’m afraid about this all being just a dream, if I close my eyes for just one second.” The younger one whispered in response, new tears already glistening in his green eyes. “Don’t be afraid, mi amor. It’s all true, it’s all real. You can close your eyes, I have got you.” Carlos told him patiently, before he leaned down and kissed his closed eyelids.</p><p>He knew it wasn’t only their second kiss, it was also Lando’s second kiss in general. He knew it, because he had told him once. He never had a relationship in his life before and he had also never kissed before. Until yesterday. “I’m sorry for destroying your birthday yesterday with just running away.” The young Brit told him honestly, while he looked up at him with those big, sorry puppy eyes.</p><p>“Don’t worry, mi amor. As long as I get you in the end, everything is good and the kiss was the best present you could have ever given to me. I just hope I wasn’t too intrusive with just kissing you. I have never wanted to pressure you or do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. But it.. it was just everything. The situation, the wish to finally feel your lips under mine since already such a long time and then there was you, right in front of me and I just couldn’t stop myself any more. I have missed you so much over the summer and you looked so stunning by sunset and I.. I was just lost in you. Once again. And I know it was your first kiss and I really hope you also liked it. At least a little.” Carlos whispered softly, while he stroked Lando’s rosy cheeks with his thumbs.</p><p>“It was more than just good. It was perfect, pretty romantic even with the sunset. It was like I have always dreamed about, but I would have never ever dared to ask for. To ask you for it. I’m still sorry for destroying this moment.” The young racer answered him visible touched from his friend’s words and because he really meant everything he had just said, Carlos began to smile.</p><p>“It was only one moment of thousand. We will get so much more chances and moments in the next time. You will see, mi amor. It was just the beginning.” The Spaniard told him, while he leaned their foreheads together and both smiled brightly at each other.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Two months later</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Such a relationship like the one he had with Lando, Carlos never had in his life before. It was so different to all his relationships before, so much better. Because Lando was also different, but in a very good kind of way.</p><p>He was such a perfect boyfriend that on some days he still couldn’t believe the luck he had to call him his. They had so much fun together, Carlos really couldn’t remember if he had ever laughed that much in his life before.</p><p>They used to dance around a lot, of course only when they were on their own. They both also loved to sing while doing so. Actually Carlos always sang, no matter what he was doing, but he practised the most when Lando and he were cooking together. They also loved to wear their pyjamas all Sunday long, being just too lazy for anything, except dancing and singing of course.</p><p>Dancing and singing together was pretty much one of their favourite things to do together, even when they looked and did sound like idiots when they were doing so. But they didn’t care, they were happy.</p><p>Carlos already did everything for Lando to make him smile, but still the younger one exactly knew how he could wrap his boyfriend around his little finger. But he was definitely the cutest and the older one was totally lost, when Lando tried to speak Spanish.</p><p>Giving away his best words, even when they were still pronounced all wrong after so many lessons he had already given him, but it only made the whole thing even cuter. But compared with his big, beautiful puppy eyes and maybe also a pout, he just got everything he wanted from his boyfriend.</p><p>When Lando tried to speak Spanish, Carlos could really kill him with kisses. He could already done that before they had got together, but now he could really cover his damn cute face with plenty kisses as often and much he wanted. And Lando couldn’t even complain about it, because it was his own fault when he tried to speak in his boyfriend’s mother tongue.</p><p>So Carlos could also never say no, when Lando wanted to get carried around like a baby. Not that Spaniard would complain about it, because he actually liked to do that. Even a lot. Especially when Lando had fallen asleep on the couch while watching a movie and Carlos finally carried him into bed like the sweet, little baby he actually was.</p><p>But also during the day he did sometimes act like a baby and when he made grabby hands at him, the older one exactly knew what he wanted then. He took the featherweight easily up into his arms and carried him around, while Lando had his arms crossed around his neck and his legs around his belly like a little monkey.</p><p>Sometimes they were even dancing around like that, but mostly they were kissing until their lips were swollen and their cheeks became all rosy. God, how much the Spaniard did adore his boyfriend when he was like that.</p><p>They had such a great, uncomplicated, enjoyable time together and even when there were darker days, Lando always knew what he had to say or do to make his boyfriend smile again, after a frustrating day on the track.</p><p>Or on that one morning Carlos woke up with a bad migraine. The younger one took such good care of him then, made sure he had it as comfortable as possible, that he had always some fresh, cold water standing on the night stand close to him and that all curtains were closed. Lando brought him some painkillers and stayed quietly next to his side and let his fingers slide trough Carlos’ dark mane, till he fell asleep.</p><p>The young Brit was always there when he needed him. He was one of a good boyfriend. Lando was the best, perfect in every possible way. He was all Carlos’ had ever wanted in his life and he did protect him like the most precious treasure he actually was for him.</p><p>Since Spa, they were together now, even when still no one knew about them. There wasn’t any need to tell anyone about them and especially no time while being in the end phase of the season. They had wanted to start slow, to enjoy the time of being just the two of them, before they will show themselves to the world.</p><p>Okay, maybe Sacha, Lando’s room-mate, knew about them. Or at least he had his assumptions about them. Latest when on Friday evening after Spa, Lando had called his team-mate and told him all excited about the gigantic spider sitting on the wall in his living room.</p><p>It wasn’t the first time the young Brit had called him, because he had an unwanted friend living next to him. Lando had already called him pretty often, when they were traveling and he had found one somewhere in his hotel room. Didn’t matter how tiny the spider was, Carlos always eliminated them with pleasure.</p><p>And so he also did this time, when he told his boyfriend to stay calm and not set their flat on fire. Lando should tell his spider friend to wait and Carlos promised his boyfriend still giggling, that he will be at his place in fifteen minutes. The young Brit explained that he had watched the spider the whole time long till he was there to make sure it wasn’t going anywhere and would visit him again while he was asleep.</p><p>The Spaniard rolled his eyes, when he saw the tiny spider. He had almost pity with it, when he caught it with a Kleenex and threw it into the bin. Back in the living room, Lando came closer to him with a big smile on his lips, after he had made sure the spider was really gone. He made grabby hands for him, when he said with shining eyes “You are my hero.”</p><p>Carlos giggled in response, looking down at his boyfriend, while he had his arms wrapped around his neck and carefully pulled him down. “Yeah, I think I have earned myself I kiss now. What do you think, mi amor?” Quickly the younger one nodded his head, biting down on his lower lip, before he answered “I think you have even earned yourself a pretty long Lando-kiss now.”</p><p>“Sounds like the perfect reward for me, mi amor.” The older one said amused, while he smirked and already leant down to meet his boyfriend’s soft lips. But before he could even reach his mouth, they both quickly jumped away from each other, when they heard a voice “Hey, Carlos. What.. what are you doing here?”</p><p>Sacha was standing in the middle of the living room and eyed the two team-mates sceptical. “Ola, Sacha. Lando has called me. He needed some help with one of his spider friends.” The Argentine rolled his eyes, he exactly knew about his room-mate’s fear, he had also already needed to help him with that more than just once.</p><p>“That’s pretty nice from you Carlos, but why do you have called him for that? I mean, I was in my room the whole time long.” Sacha asked all confused his room-mate, while his eyes wandered from the Spaniard and then back to Lando again. “You were at home? I didn’t know that.” The young Brit answered and his voice did tell his two friends that he was lying. It did always sound this way when he did so, Lando was a bad liar.</p><p>“Sure you knew. We have eaten dinner together not even one hour ago, you dummy.” Sacha explained with a knowing smirk on his lips and like Carlos he already knew why their friend had done this. It was an excuse to call the older one, to be able to spend some time with him without asking him directly about it.</p><p>“Oh, yeah. I have totally forgotten about that.” Lando lied once more with a small voice, while his cheeks got some colour. To help his boyfriend out of this uncomfortable situation, Carlos ruffed his fingers through his curls and said “Seems like you were so nervous after you have seen that dinosaur of a spider that you have totally forgotten about it, little one.”</p><p>Thankful about his help the younger one looked with a smile on his lips up at him and also Sacha smiled, while he shook his head in disbelief about his friend’s behaviour. “So, now that you are already here.. we could play some FIFA?” Lando asked carefully, even when he already knew the answer.</p><p>“Sure. Do you want to join us?” Carlos asked into Sacha’s direction, but the Argentine only shook his head and told them “Nah, I have to get up pretty early tomorrow. I will better go to bed now. But please, have some pity with him, Carlos. Or he will pout continuous for the next few days again. Buenas noches.”</p><p>After the two team-mates had also wished Sacha good night and he had disappeared into his room again, Carlos raised his eyebrows at his boyfriend and asked a little teasingly “Do you really want to play FIFA?” Lando giggled sweetly, before he bit down on his lip and whispered shyly “No, I want to do something better.”</p><p>He didn’t whisper any more, when he took the Spaniard’s hand into his and did lead him over to his room “Maybe we should check if there aren’t any spiders in my room. Just to be sure.”</p><p>Of course, there weren’t any spiders. Instead, the two of them let themselves fall onto Lando’s bed and with the younger one on top of him, Carlos whispered “You still owe me a Lando-kiss, mi amor.” The Brit didn’t let himself tell so twice, before he already covered his boyfriend’s lips for a long, sweet kiss.</p><p>“You know, mi amor, you don’t have to find one of your tiny friends to be able to call me and tell me to come over.” The older one whispered, while he pulled the single curl away from his pretty face. “Will you stay some more?” Lando asked, he didn’t response anything to what he had just said, but still Carlos knew he had understood him.</p><p>“Sure, mi amor. But sadly I can’t stay over the night. I have a stupid interview tomorrow morning, but I will stay till you have fallen asleep. I promise.” The Spaniard whispered, while he stroked with the tip of his nose over his boyfriend’s sweet nose.</p><p>And so he did. They cuddled until Lando fell asleep in his arms and Carlos really tried his best to not wake him, while he slipped out of the bed. But still Lando half opened all sleepily his eyes and made grabby hands at him. “Stay.” He almost begged.</p><p>“Not tonight, mi amor. I’m sorry. But soon, I promise. Keep on dreaming. You are safe from every spider on the world right now.” Carlos whispered, before he leant down and kissed his forehead one more time, covered his small body everywhere with the duvet, so he had it all warm and finally left with a heavy heart.</p><p>A few days later Lando called him once more, but not because he had found one of his friends again. He did sound serious and instantly got all of Carlos’ attention, when he told him that he was alone at home and did hear strange noises, which did kind of scare him.</p><p>Of course, the older one didn’t hesitant one second and drove over to his boyfriend’s place. The next morning Sacha was looking pretty surprised and perplexed, when he saw Carlos walking out of his friend’s room.</p><p>The Spaniard and also Lando explained to him what had happened and Sacha only knew oh too well about his friend getting scared pretty easily, because he had also shared his own bed a few times with Lando or had laid himself next to him, when he had asked for it and he was scared or sad and needed someone close and some comfort.</p><p>Something was going on here, the Argentine could tell, but he just couldn’t be sure, because they didn’t tell him anything, if maybe there was something going on between them or not. But Sacha wasn’t blind, he got it on his own, even when they never told him one word.</p><p>Carlos spent the third night in a row at their place and that not on their living room couch, even when the Argentine was back from his trip and Lando wouldn’t have been alone any more.</p><p>Lando and his team-mate were sleeping in the same bed and also spent as much time as possible together. So Sacha was the only one who knew about their relationship, even when it was just a suspicion on his side. No one else knew about them or their sleeping habits. For now, they still wanted their relationship to be a secret.</p><p>And since that one night, they were always sleeping in the same bed, if it was somehow possible. They weren’t able to get separated voluntary, but when they had to, they always wrote each other sweet messages during the whole day to get through the time they were separated. But didn’t matter if it was during the race weekends or back in London, they always slept next to each other.</p><p>Carlos could still remember too good about the first night Lando had slept over at his place. Like a little unsure and shy kid he was standing in front of his door with that back pack over his shoulders. Of course, it wasn’t the first time the young Brit was at his boyfriend’s place, but it would be the first night they would spend here together. All alone, with the knowing that no one could come in so easily like back at Lando’s place.</p><p>When Carlos told the younger one that he could place his bag into the bedroom, he watched how nervously and excited Lando looked around the room, especially at the double bed in the corner, even when they had already spent some many hours inside his bedroom with playing iRacing together.</p><p>Of course, the older one noticed his boyfriend’s behaviour and he also got it why he did act that way. He was scared and very nervous about what will happen, when they will go to bed tonight. Also after minutes, Lando felt still obviously uncomfortable and he was fidgeting nervously around, till Carlos pulled him into his arms and told him seriously</p><p>“Don’t be afraid, mi amor. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to tonight. It’s just like always. We make ourselves some pretty good Lasagne, sing and dance while doing so, play some FIFA, iRacing, watch a movie or whatever you want and then we go to bed and cuddle. We won’t do anything you aren’t ready yet. And it’s more than just okay.”</p><p>Grateful about his boyfriend’s understanding, Lando nodded and smiled up at him the same smile Carlos was already used to see on his lips. “I have also bought your favourite kind of milk. I want you to feel home at my place, mi amor.” They will have a nice evening and make themselves a good time, which was everything Carlos had ever wanted.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Like I have already said, we will get to know about Lando's big secret in the next chapter.</p><p>I will try my best to upload the next one sooner.</p><p>But till then, I hope you loved this one! xoxo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, for once I have kept my promise - here is the next chapter and we will finally get to know about Lando's big secret at the end of this one.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Even when their first night at his place was already weeks ago and they were already together since over two months now, they still hadn’t got intimate or had seen each other naked. Sure they both really liked it to kiss and also make out when they were alone and Lando also comfortable enough for it, but until now they hadn’t got any further. There hadn’t happened a deeper body contact between the two of them yet.</p><p>But this really didn’t bother Carlos, it was more than just enough for him. The last thing he wanted was to pressure Lando or god forbid maybe even worse to force him to anything he didn’t want to. It just didn’t happen yet and it was fine. They had time and hopefully also more free time for doing something so big like that in the winter, because during the season it sometimes seemed like they didn’t even have time to breathe.</p><p>For Carlos, sex wasn’t the most important thing in a relationship. Sure, one day he wanted to share that deep, beautiful body contact with Lando together, but there was no reason why they should rush. He just hoped that Lando did enjoy their kisses and cuddles as much as he did. And he exactly knew about his boyfriend being still a virgin and that he was his first boyfriend. It was still all so new for him.</p><p>Never before Carlos was in such a precious relationship. He still remembered about his last and how horrible it and that guy was. It was all about sex. Every day, every night, every free minute. His ex-boyfriend always made at the end of the month kind of balance about their sex life and he told him how often they had sex in the last weeks and it was always too less for him, didn’t matter how often they had.</p><p>Every month Carlos got that number thrown against his head and he hated it so much. And that guy always told him that they needed to have more sex, even when it felt for Carlos like they were already doing it every free minute they had and on some days everything did already hurt so much and he was all sore. They were only having sex and didn’t even really talk any more.</p><p>In the end, he kind of even forced Carlos to have sex with him and the Spaniard was too tired to complain about it, so he just did, while his head was far away. He also remembered about the crash he had back in Sochi and all that guy was worried about was when they could finally have sex again, even when he was still all sore and his whole body did still hurt badly after the crash.</p><p>It was so annoying, especially when Carlos just wanted to calm down at home after a stressful weekend and all his ex-boyfriend was talking about was sex. Maybe if he wouldn’t have put so much pressure on him, the Spaniard would have liked it to have more sex with him, but because he only talked about that one topic the whole time long he destroyed everything with it.</p><p>It always ended up the same, whenever Carlos touched his ex-boyfriend. Didn’t matter where he touched him, he always wanted the same. Sex. They couldn’t just only cuddle or only kiss, without ending up in bed. It annoyed him so much. His ex-boyfriend and his behaviour was in the end already that horrible, that Carlos finally ended their relationship about three years ago.</p><p>But with Lando, everything was different. So much better. It was really great and such a good change to finally have found someone, who also obviously thought that sex wasn’t the most important thing in the world and also had other things in his mind.</p><p>They could just cuddle the whole afternoon long or make out for hours without ending up with having sex. But they will get there, the Spaniard could tell, because he did feel the hardness of Lando, when he was lying on top of him and they kissed deep and their tongues danced together. So he really didn’t worry about that, instead he just enjoyed their uncomplicated time together.</p><p>But even when they were in a relationship now, nothing had changed between the two of them. They were still best friends, did fool around a lot and had much of fun. The only thing that had changed was the way Carlos was calling Lando when they were alone. Kissing and cuddling they had also added to their list of things they liked to do the most.</p><p>Making out was just the furthest they have gone until yet, after Lando had finally begun to feel comfortable enough for that. And now he even enjoyed the pleasure Carlos was giving him and he was waiting for it longingly.</p><p>Even when Lando made him kind of crazy with wearing these tight leggings so often, the older one still tried to keep his hands all by himself. Especially when he did wear them together with one of his over-sized sweaters and no shorts over the leggings. Carlos really enjoyed it to watch him then, he looked so damn cure in that outfit, almost like he was wearing a dress.</p><p>And to put it into Lando’s words like he would say it, those oversized sweaters, especially when it were the Spaniard’s own he was wearing, made him wonna cuddle the shit out of his cute boyfriend.</p><p>And his small, but also very trained and tight, sweet ass was shown from its best side, while he was rocking those leggings. And next to it, the Spaniard could spot his thin but also trained and oh so smooth legs, he did like to touch so much.</p><p>Carlos was daydreaming about that one day Lando will jump into his arms while wearing this outfit and wrap his legs around his waist, so he could cover his sweet ass cheeks with his palms and pull his middle against his own erection. He would press him against the wall, make him with his kisses and touches all crazy like he did make him when he was wearing those leggings.</p><p>But till that day, Carlos was alright with the way it was. More than just alright. He did enjoy every second of their relationship and wished for it to stay like that for a very long, beautiful time.</p><p>He was the happiest man in the whole world, when he could just hold Lando close and make him as happy as himself with placing plenty of kisses everywhere on his cute face. They didn’t need to do more to show the other one how much they did care for each other.</p><p>Lando was just perfect in the way he was. He was so endless sweet and loveable by everything he did. He did light up Carlos world with just being close to his side and being the talented, young man he was. And the love Lando did give him back was more than Carlos did deserve and could ever give back.</p><p>But because his boyfriend was such a joyful and always smiling person, it was way harder to believe that this funny, young soul also had bad days were he wasn’t smiling at all. But Lando was also only human and could have bad days as well.</p><p>Especially after something bad had happened on the track and he did blame himself for everything, even for things which really weren’t his fault. Lando was always really hard on himself, but even more when he thought it was all his own fault.</p><p>And it sometimes also happened that he woke up in the morning and he was just in a bad, whiny mood. Carlos thought it were still his teenager hormones and he really didn’t bother about it when he was this way.</p><p>With time, he had learnt how to deal with it, what his boyfriend did need in these moments or even days to feel better, when he was all down. Lando always said that he was the only one he did want around himself then and even when sometimes Carlos was only sitting next to him, without saying one word or touching him. He just needed his presence to slowly calm down again.</p><p>In contrast to when he was crying, then he needed his boyfriend’s near and the possible to cry out in his arms, even when he sometimes didn’t even know why he was actually crying. Carlos had his own assumptions then. Maybe on some days everything just became too much for him, the whole pressure and the expectations so many had on him and the even bigger once he had on himself.</p><p>Maybe Lando also had anxiety, kind of panic attacks or just didn’t feel well inside his own skin. But whatever it was, Carlos will always be by his side and they will get through this all together. Like Lando was doing for him, when he wasn’t feeling great or when he was frustrated after a bad race.</p><p>The Spaniard had also noticed pretty soon, that the younger one was a very restless sleeper. He did move a lot and very often during the nights, he did also murmur inaudible things and one time he had even started to cry, while still being asleep. Something did bother him, maybe only in his subconscious, but still he just couldn’t find his peace. One day better, one day worse.</p><p>When Carlos had asked Lando about it, he couldn’t really give him an answer to his question. He didn’t notice himself how much he was moving during the nights and he also couldn’t remember what he had dreamed about. Nothing did bother him or at least not more than usual, he was actually feeling alright.</p><p>He told his boyfriend how sorry he was for kicking him again in his sleep and stealing the duvet away from him once more during the night, but Carlos was more than alright with that, because he was taking it as an excuse to cuddle himself even closer to his boyfriend and wrap his arms around him, so he will stop moving.</p><p>Maybe one day they will find out about why Lando was so restless. Maybe it was the whole stress and pressure. Hopefully it will get better during the winter and when his rookie year in Formula One will be finally over, he will maybe start the new season more relaxed, because he will know then how it was all working.</p><p>They still wanted to keep their relationship secret, but on some days it was very difficult to not take Lando’s hand when Carlos exactly knew he would need some body contact at the moment. Best he wanted to kiss him in front of everyone, so they could see they were happy together and that this sweet, little angel was his.</p><p>But at one point the Spaniard just really couldn’t hold himself back any more, he was just way too overjoyed and endless happy, when he had really just won his first race in Formula One. It was between cheering with his team right after the race and before he had to go to the cool-down-room, when he found a private moment with Lando.</p><p>They were all on their own, so nobody could see them, when Carlos pulled his boyfriend closer, kissed him long and deep and said still all excited and overjoyed “I love you, mi amor.” Before Lando could response or the Spaniard could get his expression, Charlotte came into the room and leaded the race winner away.</p><p>Only after the ceremony, Carlos got it that something was wrong with Lando. But there wasn’t any time or the right place to ask him about what did bother him. Actually the young Brit was smiling and did celebrate with his team and best friend together. Carlos was probably the only one who could tell that something was wrong with him.</p><p>Sure the Spaniard knew about that his boyfriend was still waiting for his first Formula One win or at least a podium, but something was telling him that this wasn’t the case for his behaviour that afternoon.</p><p>Only when they were lying in bed that evening, both a little drunk, but they still knew what they did and said, the older one whispered into the darkness of the room “It’s because what I have said to you before, right?” Lando kept quiet, tried to avoid his eyes and did pretend like he didn’t know what he was talking about.</p><p>“I did really mean it, Lando. And you don’t need to return it, if you can’t, if you aren’t sure or ready yet. But I just wanted to let you know, because it’s true. I love you, very much even. And I’m worried about you. Don’t you want to tell me, why you feel this way since I have told you so?”</p><p>He could watch Lando bite down on his lip, before he shook his head with tears already glistening in his eyes. “I can’t.” Lovingly Carlos tried to comfort him with stroking the back of his fingers over his cheek. “We don’t need to talk about it right now. Let us talk after the season is over, alright?”</p><p>Lando was unsure, but still he nodded agreeing his head. Carlos didn’t know any more why he said the following or how he even came up with it. Maybe he was more drunk than he was aware of.</p><p>“You know, sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your hearts.” Carlos tried to explain and also to cheer up his boyfriend with it. “Did you just quote Winnie The Pooh?” Lando asked with an amused smile, even when his eyes were still glassy.</p><p>“Maybe.” The Spaniard answered simple, a smirk on his lips as well. “Alright. But at least I hope you meant me and not your first place trophy.” Lando asked suspect with raised eyebrows. “Maybe.” Carlos smirked even wider, before he looked back over his shoulder at the winner trophy standing there on the nightstand behind himself.</p><p>He then winked at his boyfriend, who did only roll his eyes in response. “Sure I meant you, mi amor. And now come over here, so I can finally cuddle you. You are softer than the trophy anyway.” Carlos was just too happy about today, about his first win and also about his relationship with Lando. He just wanted to be happy tonight.</p><p>But even when it was the truest thing he had ever told someone, Carlos still didn’t tell the younger one about how much he meant to him for the rest of the season again. He just didn’t want to make him uncomfortable once more, they first needed to talk about it. But nothing could change his mind about Lando any more. He loved him, no matter what will come.</p><p>It was such a healthy, precious relationship they had, with much trust, respect and admiration. They always told each other the truth, at least Carlos had always thought so. He had known before, that his boyfriend was something special, but he only really got how special he really was after the season was finally over.</p><p>Carlos had already forgotten about Lando’s reaction to his confession of love and that they still wanted to talk about it a long time ago, because he was just too happy with his life right now.</p><p>It was actually their first weekend off, when Lando and he had decided over the day by message that he will come over to his place in the evening. Carlos will also bring dinner, like they were already doing so often. Like always Carlos also wrote Sacha, if he wanted something to eat as well.</p><p>The older one always made sure the two boys got enough to eat, even when their shared trainer will hate him to feed the two of them up like that. But Sacha told him he won’t be at home tonight, but still thanked him for thinking about him as well.</p><p>Carlos just wanted to pull his phone away, when there came a second message from Lando’s room-mate. He had written that the two of them will have their whole flat all on their own tonight and Sacha also added a winking smiley at the end. The Spaniard had to smile to himself, because he liked that thought. Maybe tonight was really the right time and the right place to have his first time with his boyfriend.</p><p>But even when not, the Spaniard still looked forward to see Lando again, even when they haven’t seen each for just two days. Like they had decided, Carlos knocked at Lando’s and Sacha’s flat at seven o’clock, with two plastic bags of Chinese food in his hands.</p><p>The second the young Brit opened the front door for his boyfriend, the older one knew something was wrong. Lando’s face looked, and he hated to say it, blemished. His acne had come back massive and as bad as Carlos had ever seen it. He knew his boyfriend’s skin was very sensitive and whenever he was worried about something his face started to show so directly and without his will.</p><p>Also, his eyes seemed to be swollen and red, like he had cried for the last few hours. The thin skin under his eyes looked very dark, Lando didn’t seem like he had slept much last night. Every part of the young Brit’s body screamed for help, while he somehow managed it to hold himself together.</p><p>Already all worried, Carlos stepped inside the flat and greeted his boyfriend with a kiss on his cheek. He didn’t bother about his acne, but Lando did pull away like he didn’t want to get touched. The younger one formed his lips into a thin line, before he turned around and left worthless into the living room, where he let himself fall down on the couch.</p><p>Carlos was speechless as well, he had never seen him like that before. Quickly he placed the plastic bags onto the kitchen table, before he got to the younger one into the living room, because Lando really didn’t seem like he was hungry at the moment, it was probably his last problem. And Carlos himself also wasn’t hungry any more, while he looked at his boyfriend and got more and more concerned about him with every second.</p><p>Carlos took place right next to Lando on the couch, but even when their knees were touching he seemed as far away as never before. Lando looked so cold today, not like his usual warm, happy and cheeky Lando. Till now, they haven’t spoken one word, only when the Spaniard finally whispered calmly “What’s wrong, mi amor?”</p><p>He wanted to take his boyfriend’s shaking and so cold looking hand into his, but Lando shrugged away, before he spit out “I know why you are here and I have to tell you that.. I can’t. I still can’t.”</p><p>Confused Carlos frowned at the younger one, who still tried to avoid his eyes and gave his best to hold it together. When Carlos thought about it, he didn’t know if their eyes had already met once yet. “I really don’t know about what you are talking about, mi amor. I have just wanted to spend a nice evening with you together or why do you think I’m here?”</p><p>“Because the season is over, it’s our first weekend off and I still haven’t told you the truth.” Lando told Carlos so quickly that he needed some moments to understand his words. Never before he had seen him that nervous, scared and desperately like inthis moment.</p><p>“Lando, you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want. I don’t want to force you to anything. Please, calm down and everything will be good again.” The Spaniard tried to reach out for him to give him some comfort, but Lando pulled away so quickly and sprang to his feet.</p><p>With widened eyes and trembling lips he looked down at him. Latest now, Carlos was really, really worried about his boyfriend. With a broken and very unstable voice the young Brit told him under pain “I’m sorry. I should have already told you so when you said you love me. God, no. I should have already told you back in Spa. I should have never let it happen, because now I have to hurt you.”</p><p>Carlos frowned confused but also scared up at him. He really didn’t like the way this conversation was going. “I’m so sorry, but you have to go.” Lando’s voice began to break and he tried to hide his face behind his palms, when he wanted to run away from him, like he had already done back in Spa.</p><p>But this time Carlos could react faster, jumped on his feet as well and held his team-mate back by his arm. “Please, Carlos. Let me go. Don’t make it even more difficult than it already is. I’m so sorry for having waste your time. But please, let go.” Lando begged, while tears were running down his sensitive, red skin and he tried to free himself from his boyfriend’s grip.</p><p>“No, Lando. I won’t let you run away so easily this time. What has happened? What has changed your mind from one day to the other? Have I done something wrong? Please, tell me. Because I can’t and I also don’t want to let you go. You are my everything.” Carlos told him desperately. He didn’t want to hurt him, but he did need to tighten his grip around his arm to pretend him from running away.</p><p>“No, I can’t.” Lando whimpered as desperately as his friend. “I just want to help you, Lando. I would never hurt you, you know that. I promise, you will feel better after telling me. I see how much you suffer under it.”</p><p>“But, I CAN’T! YOU WON’T UNDERSTAND IT!” The young Brit shouted in self-protection, still trying to get free from his boyfriend’s grip. “But.. do you remember, you have promised me to talk about it.” Carlos tried to remember him. Sure he did, it was actually all Lando was thinking about the last weeks and now he couldn’t hold his promise, because he was too damn weak.</p><p>“I really want to, believe me. But I just can’t. Don’t you want to understand it? It would destroy everything.” The younger one whined, his arm did already hurt where Carlos was holding him, but still he did try to free himself. “No, mi amor. <em>Not</em> talking about it destroys everything.”</p><p>Suddenly something, maybe Carlos’ words or the way he was talking to him now, more calmly and quietly, had obviously changed Lando’s mind, when he stopped to move and looked with big, glassy eyes for the first time this evening up into the Spaniard’s eyes.</p><p>“I’m your boyfriend, Lando. And I really, really hate it to see you like this. Please, talk to me and I will promise you to find a solution. You can trust me.” The older one told him soothingly and he was more than just surprised, when Lando didn’t run away when he let go of his arm.</p><p>Instead, Carlos took his so much smaller hand into his and squeezed it softly to show him his support. But the next thing, he really hadn’t expected, when Lando asked him shocked “You are my boyfriend?”</p><p>Surprised the older one looked down at him, he felt like in a wrong movie. Sure they were, since over three months now. “Of course, mi amor. What.. what were you thinking we are? What this between us is?” Unsure the young Brit shrugged his shoulders, because it only made everything even worse.</p><p>“I have just never thought you would call me your boyfriend. I didn’t know we are in a relationship.” Lando said and sadly it wasn’t a joke from him. He had really thought that, the whole time long, since Spa. “But.. Lando, sure we are. I mean, only if you want that too?” The young Brit didn’t response or answer anything, he just looked up at the older one with big, glassy eyes.</p><p> “Lando, look.” Carlos said gently, when he pulled his hands on top of Lando’s shoulders and caused him so to jump. “I know it’s your first..” He wanted to say relationship, but the younger one hadn’t even known he was in one until now. So Carlos went on instead with “..time being together with someone and it’s all still so new for you, but you can really trust me. You just have to let it happen. That’s actually what this all, a relationship, is about. Trust. You don’t have to get through whatever it is on your own any more. You aren’t alone, I’m with you now. We are together. You can share your problems, your thoughts, and your worries with me. I will always be there for you and try to help you wherever I can.”</p><p>Gently Carlos leaded Lando back to the couch again, where he pulled him softly down, while still holding his hand. He also took Lando’s other shaking hand and rubbed with both of his thumbs over the back of his fingers now. “Please, tell me, mi amor. And I promise I won’t laugh, be mad at you or I will stop loving you. Because that won’t ever happen.”</p><p>Lando breathed deep inside his lungs for one more time, before he finally began to speak “It’s all my fault and it’s really not fair from me. I should have told you the truth already back in Spa, it was really never my intention to hurt you. You were always so nice to me and then.. I just couldn’t say no any more, and now you even love me. Even when I still don’t get it how you can love someone like me.” Carlos kept quiet then, even when he had to bite down on his tongue to pretend himself from telling his boyfriend the opposite, because he didn’t want to stop him, he should go on and tell him finally everything.</p><p>“It’s too late now, because I should have let you make that decision on your own and it really shouldn’t have been me to make that decision for you. I shouldn’t have taken that from you. But I was so scared. I didn’t know if I could trust you, even when that sounds so stupid to me now. It’s just, I have never told anyone about it, because I can’t. But I wanted you so badly since such a long time and then you kissed me and you asked me this three questions and then everything happened so quickly and before I could even realize it, I was afraid about that you will hate me if I will tell you the truth. That you will leave me and won’t ever look even one second at me. But now you love me and you don’t even know..”</p><p>Lando couldn’t go on and Carlos’ breathe and his heart beat had already stopped completely since a long time. God, he was so damn scared and worried about his boyfriend. What horrible thing had happened to him? “Lando, you scare me. Please, tell me what’s wrong.” Carlos pleaded already all desperately and worried to his bones.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to ever scare you.” The young Brit whispered, shocked about being able to scare his team-mate, because actually he was never scared about anything. “Please, Lando. There is nothing you can’t tell me. I really want to help you and you will see, we will find a solution. Together. You and me.” The Spaniard said in response, holding his hands even tighter.</p><p>But all the younger one did was shaking his head, while he told him “You can’t help me. No one can.” A cold shiver ran down his back, but at the same time he also felt so hot. Tears were glistening in the Spaniard’s eyes as well, when he just had to ask his boyfriend, even when he already felt sick just thinking about it “Lando, are you ill?” It did freeze the blood inside his veins, when his boyfriend nodded slowly his head.</p><p>“Kind of.” Lando admitted, but Carlos didn’t know any more what he should think. What did he mean with that? “Don’t matter what it is, mi amor, we will make it. Everything will be good again, you will see. Just speak to me, please. I won’t be angry at you or even leave you, I promise. But I’m begging you, please tell me what’s wrong. I am so worried about you and I really want to help you, but I only can if you tell me the truth. Please, mi amor. I’m your boyfriend and you can trust me everything.”</p><p>As good as possible, Carlos tried to stay calm and waited patiently, even when he was the actual total opposite, till Lando was ready after breathing deep inside his lungs for one more time and he finally told him the truth with a shaking voice.</p><p>“I am asexual.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yeah, here it is..</p><p>Maybe for some of you it wasn't that surpising anymore, but I'm still curious about what you are thinking about this all here?!</p><p>How would you feel if you would be Carlos? Can you understand Lando as well?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lando’s words did hang in the air, while Carlos only blinked at him and gave him a puzzled look. His boyfriend’s confession let him behind all speechless. He had expected much, but really not this. The younger one watched his reaction close, while tears of shame were running down his cheeks. </p><p>“Oh, I understand.” Was all the Spaniard’s lips left, being still not able to understand the situation and the real meaning of Lando’s words. His reaction was more addressed to himself than to his boyfriend. The older one had already heard about it before, but if he was serious he didn’t know much about that topic.</p><p>“No, you don’t understand. You just can’t, because I don’t even understand myself. I don’t know who I am or what I am.” Lando corrected him bitterly and he seemed hurt and angry at the same time about his reaction, almost like he did already regret it to tell his biggest secret to him.</p><p>To protect himself, the young Brit wrapped his arms around his chest and began to cradle back and forth. Carlos knew then that he had to be very carefully by that topic. He had to tread Lando with soft gloves to not hurt him and he had to think twice about what he was saying, not like before. He could break him so simple, even without wanting it.</p><p>“Lando.” Carlos whispered softly and wanted to reach out carefully for his boyfriend, but he only flinched and tried to avoid his near with moving away from him. The younger one seemed hysterical, his breathing fast and irregular, while his whole body began to shake.</p><p>Because Lando didn’t want any body contact at the moment, he started to explain in a soft, calm voice “You are right, mi amor. I just can’t understand it, only you can. And only you have to. I really don’t know much about it, but I exactly know that you aren’t ill.”</p><p>Lando’s head snapped up by his words and with big, glassy eyes he looked up at him “So you think no one can help me? It’s not curable, because I’m not even sick?” The young Brit asked desperately with a shaking voice. This turned out different than the older one had actually wanted it to be.</p><p>“Lando.” He wanted so bad to touch him and take him into his arms, but he also knew his boyfriend didn’t want it at the moment, so Carlos stayed back and tried to give him some comfort with the look in his eyes, when he went on “It’s okay to feel this way. It’s okay to just be you. I don’t think you are different in a bad way or not normal. You don’t have to change yourself or get healed or something like that. Because you are healthy and for me you are perfect the way you are. Different, but not in a bad kind of way and sure as hell not ill. You are Lando, my sweet, little Lando. And that’s good. You are good the way you are.”</p><p>The younger one was shaking under his tears, deep sobs let his body jump, while he was falling apart. Carlos didn’t want to scare him away once again, so he kept where he was, only opened his arms for his boyfriend and whispered softly “Come here, mi amor.”</p><p>Finally, Lando crashed into his waiting arms and let himself fall, while the Spaniard closed even the last distance between the two of them and wrapped his arms softly around his still trembling body.</p><p>Still, Carlos was surprised that Lando let him. He just held him like that for the next few minutes, before he tried to shush him with whispering against his curls “It’s okay, mi amor. Try to calm down. This is nothing bad at all. It’s still me and it’s still you. The same Lando as before, only that I know you a little better now.”</p><p>“It’s just.. me.” Lando whined out between heart-breaking sobs, this all here seemed very hard for him. “That’s right, mi amor. The same Lando I have fallen in love with.” Carlos whispered into his curls, while he stroked his palm over his back and cradled him carefully.</p><p>Nobody knew about Lando’s big secret. Not his family, his friends or the team. Not like it was an information everybody had to know, because actually it was no one’s business. It was Lando’s life and no one else. But Carlos was the very first person he told him his biggest secret. Slowly Lando’s body seemed to believe his words, when he calmed down.</p><p>Carefully the Spaniard let himself and Lando still in his arms fall back into the couch, never letting go of him. “You are right, mi amor. I won’t ever be able to understand it fully, but maybe you could help me to do so a little more.” Carlos tried to cheer him up, to which Lando answered all desperately “How should I explain something to you, I don’t even understand myself? It’s normal to me and I don’t even know what’s different by me in contrast to you. I don’t know what I should say.”</p><p>The older one was quiet, his boyfriend was right once more. Carlos didn’t know himself how he should handle this situation best nor how Lando should explain him his feelings. But one thing he did exactly knew, when he told the younger one “Don’t worry, mi amor. It doesn’t change anything between us.”</p><p>“You can’t know that, Carlos. You.. you won’t ever have sex with me. Never.” Lando tried to explain to him, already very close to tears again, while he straightened himself in his arms. To see his boyfriend like that, broke the older once heart, why he lifted Lando’s chin gently with his index finger, so they looked into each other’s eyes, when he told him</p><p>“But that doesn’t change my love for you. It hasn’t and won’t ever change anything between us. We both just need some time to handle this right, that’s all. We will both learn from each other and even when we won’t ever be able to understand the other one completely, we will still respect and accept each other. And you also don’t have to be worried, because I won’t ever tell anyone about it. No matter how this all here will end. This is only between you and me. And now don’t think about it any more, mi amor. We will first eat now, because you look like you haven’t eaten much the last days. Everything will be the same as before, alright?”</p><p>Relieved the younger one agreed to his suggestion, before he breathed out long and loudly and his shoulders began to sink. Lovingly Carlos took his boyfriend into his arms once again and kissed gently the top of his head. “God, I love you so much.” The older one whispered against his forehead and felt Lando smile softly in his arms.</p><p>Lando agreed to the Spaniard’s suggestion once more, when he told him to stay right here, turn on the television and chose some film they can watch, while he will make their dinner ready. Together they ate in front of the television and Carlos was more than just relieved about seeing the younger one eating that much. It seemed like Lando already felt better after finally saying in out loud.</p><p>After having dinner and placing the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, the two of them made themselves comfortable on the couch. They both didn’t give any attention to the film playing in the background any more since a long time. Instead, they were facing each other, smiled softly and looked deep into each other’s eyes.</p><p>When Carlos took Lando’s hand and carefully pulled it up to kiss the back of his fingers, the younger said out of nowhere “I’m so sorry I can’t feel the same for you like you do for me.”</p><p>A second time this evening, Carlos was shocked to his bones. The Spaniard had already heard about people, who weren’t able to feel any kind of love for anyone, at least not the love he felt for him. But Carlos hadn’t known that it was in the connection with his asexuality.</p><p>He then had to ask himself if he could do that. If he was able to be together with someone, who he loved with his whole heart and would die for him and who didn’t feel anything for him in return. The decision he had to make before was way easier for him.</p><p>If Carlos had to choose between sex and love, he didn’t even have to think about it one whole second. He did choose love, he did choose Lando. But suddenly he wasn’t so sure about it any more, when he had to think about the next decision he had to make.</p><p>Being together with Lando, the young man he loved so much, and not getting any love back or finding someone else, he probably won’t ever care about so much like him, but who would love him back. Was his love strong enough for both of them? It was the hardest decision he had ever needed to make in his life.</p><p>“Carlos?” Lando said his name worriedly, when he got his thoughtful and also kind of hurt expression. The Spaniard looked down at his boyfriend, watched his so beautiful eyes looking up at him, his perfect formed lips. He thought about his cheeky smile, all the times they had laughed together, just about the pure soul he was.</p><p>And Carlos had to admit himself that he was more than just happy in that time, without sex and without Lando saying out loud these three words. And so he will also be in the future as long as the young Brit will be next to his side.</p><p>To calm down his boyfriend’s nerves, he stroked with the back of his fingers over his sensible cheeks and smiled lovingly down at him “This relationship can work, mi amor. We will make it work, together.” Only then also Lando smiled warmly back at him, before he leaned into his touch and closed his eyes to remember this moment for the rest of his life.</p><p>“I’m so sorry.” He whispered, his eyes still closed and Carlos could watch a single tear making its way down to his chin. “There is nothing you have to be sorry for, mi amor.” He tried to calm him down, before he stroked with the tip of his nose over Lando’s and caused him so to giggle, the most beautiful sound for the Spaniard’s ears.</p><p>“Sure, there is. I should have told it to you already right back in Mexico. It was wrong from me to not tell it to you.” Lando went on, after he had finally opened his eyes again and looked up at his confused team-mate.</p><p>“I love you, Carlos. With my whole heart and I’m so sorry to only tell you know now.” The Spaniard didn’t know how much more feelings he was able to handle tonight. With an opened mouth and widened eyes he was looking down at his boyfriend, before he asked still confused “But.. I have thought you don’t feel the same for me, like I do for you, when you look at me.”</p><p>Quickly the young Brit shook his head, getting it what his words from before had caused Carlos to think and he was once more sorry for making him sad. “No. Carlos, I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that I don’t feel the same, when I look at you, because I just don’t get the need to sleep with you or whatever you feel, when you look at me.” Lando wanted to make it clear and even when the Spaniard had promised himself that their relationship would have worked that way, he was still damn relieved that his boyfriend had indeed feelings for him.</p><p>“When I look at you, I see this cute, cheeky, funny and talented young man and not someone I only want to have sex with. You are so much more for me, mi amor. I love you like I haven’t done in my life before. Yes, you are different from all the others before, but in a very good kind of way. You are special, Lando. That’s what you are.” Carlos whispered, while he stroked with the back of his fingers over his boyfriend’s cheeks.</p><p>“I just wished you would have told me so sooner.” Lando’s expression quickly changed into scared. Did now happen the worst thing he could imagine? Was Carlos mad at him and will leave him now, because he was hurt that he hadn’t told him the truth since the beginning?</p><p>Of course, Carlos got his angst and quickly added “Not because of me, mi amor. Because of you. I bet I have already touched you more than once, where you haven’t want to get touched. And I’m sorry for it.”</p><p>“No, Carlos. No. That was really never the case. You were always so gentle, soft and sensitive to me. You are perfect and I don’t even deserve you.” Lando whispered between sobs, before he let himself fall into the Spaniard’s arms and cried quietly against his chest. “I love you so much, Carlos. And I hope you are right. I don’t want anything to change between us. I need you.”</p><p>“You will see, mi amor. Nothing will change, we will stay the same and you won’t ever lose me. I have got you.” Carlos whispered into his curls, holding him as tight as never before. Like that, the two of them fell asleep right there on the couch.</p><p>When Sacha came home in the middle of the night and found his two friends curled up like that in the living room, he had to smile to himself. And he also had to admit about the two of them being damn cute together.</p><p>The Argentine picked up the duvet from his room-mate’s bed and placed the warm fabric carefully on top of them, before he turned off the television still playing some film and got to bed himself.</p><p>On the next morning, Carlos woke up with Lando still in his arms. He also found his boyfriend’s duvet around his shoulders. It must have been Sacha. He was really nice, he had to thank him later for covering them with it. The sunbeams of a new day were shining into the bright living room and the Spaniard just had to smile at his boyfriend’s so relaxed and pure face.</p><p>He looked all cute and so kissable. But he held himself back, not wanting to wake him up yet, because yesterday evening he seemed like he hadn’t got much sleep in the last nights. Lando deserved his rest, especially after last evening.</p><p>Carlos’ decision hadn’t changed over the night. He was still hell over heels in love with the young man lying next to him and nothing he had told him last night will change their relationship in a bad kind of way.</p><p>Best the Spaniard wanted to spend the rest of the day like that, but he really needed to go to the toilet, so he tried to slip away without waking up his boyfriend. But Lando still began to move and also whined a little. “Keep on dreaming, mi amor. I’m not going anywhere without telling you.” Carlos whispered, before he leaned down and kissed the top of his cheek.</p><p>As quietly as possible, because he didn’t know how late it was and he also didn’t want to wake up Sacha, he got the toilet. Before he will lay himself next to his boyfriend again, he wanted to drink some water. Carlos almost jumped, when he entered the kitchen and saw Sacha lean against the cupboards.</p><p>“Morning.” The Argentine smirked, before he took a sip from the cup in his hand. “Morning. Didn’t know you were already up.” Carlos admitted, while he moved with his hand through his messy hair. “Yeah, I have noticed it.” Sacha smirked once more and latest now Carlos knew that he knew.</p><p>“You have seen this before, right?” He still asked. “Maybe.” The younger one answered like it wasn’t a big deal, before he added “Coffee?” The older one was relieved about his reaction. “Yes, please.” Carlos did response grateful, before they both got quiet, till the coffee was finished and Sacha handled the cup over to the Spaniard.</p><p>“Thanks for the duvet last night. We have both fallen asleep somehow.” He explained, thankful for the warm liquid in his hands and the effect it had to his body. Sacha only nodded his head, before he asked teasingly with a smirk on his lips again “So, for how much longer the two of you want to tell me that you are only very good friends and nothing more?”</p><p>“You have never asked.” Carlos countered with a smirk. “Fair play.” Sacha had to admit, he had never asked, but they had also never said one word about what was going on. The two men giggled, trying to not wake up Lando with it.</p><p>“Alright, then I ask now. So.. Lando and you. You aren’t only very good friends, or? Ate least not any more.” Sacha finally asked curiously after so many weeks watching the two of them and not saying one word about their behaviour.</p><p>Carlos nodded his head, feeling as happy and proud like he hadn’t since a long time. “Yeah. We are together. We are a couple.” He told him with a wide smile on his lips, while he looked over to Lando’s sleeping self on the couch in the other room.</p><p>Understanding and already knowing it since such a long time, Sacha nodded his head, before he told him “I’m happy for the two of you. You fit perfectly together.” The older one’s smile grew even wider and his heart warmth up, while he still watched his boyfriend sleeping and it really wasn’t about the hot coffee in his hand.</p><p>“Thank you, Sacha. I know that means a lot to Lando and also to me. In general, you mean a lot to him and I think he will be very glad to hear you are happy for us.” Carlos answered truthfully and very relieved himself.</p><p>The Argentine smiled once more, before he pushed himself away from the cupboard he had been leant against since their conversation had started and said “I have already suspected it since a longer time, so it wasn’t such a shock for me any more. I’m just shocked about that it took the two of you so long to see it as well. I’m just very glad for Lando to have finally found someone, someone like you.”</p><p>Showing him his thankfulness, Carlos nodded his head and smiled back at the young man he was happy to call his friend as well. Sacha put his cup into the sink, before he yawned and stretched himself long. “I will go to bed for some more. You should do the same, your boyfriend is waiting for you.”</p><p>With that the young racer left the kitchen to get into his room. After the Spaniard had taken his last sip from the coffee, he placed his cup into the sink as well, before he got over to the couch, where Lando was still fast asleep.</p><p>Carefully Carlos crawled under the duvet and laid himself right next to him. Lando got his presence instantly and snuggled closer against his chest. The older one wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and pulled him gently closer. Softly he kissed his forehead and before Carlos dozed off, he whispered into his curls “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, mi amor.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So what do you think about Carlos' reaction to all this? I think he handled it pretty good, he was trying to understand how Lando was feeling, even when he won't ever be able to understand his feelings completely. </p><p>And the most important thing - he won't leave his boyfriend because of it. This all here will only make them stronger.</p><p>Or what do you think? Will they work this out together or will it break them in the end?</p><p>Thanks for reading guys, stay safe and healthy! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here it is, the new chapter.</p><p>We will get to know a lot more about Lando's thoughts, feelings and fears in this one.</p><p>Hope you enjoy it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few hours later, Lando’s beautiful eyes slowly fluttered opened, while Carlos was already watching him for a half eternity. The second the younger one got it where he was, in which arms he was laying, what had happened last evening and who was still laying right next to him, he gave the Spaniard a cute, sleepily smile.</p><p>“Good morning, mi amor. Have I ever told you that you look like an angel when you are sleeping?” Carlos whispered, while he brushed with the tip of his nose over his boyfriend’s. Like always when the older one complimented him, Lando’s cheeks did blush and he tried to avoid his eyes, when he buried his face into the older once neck.</p><p>“Maybe you have already mentioned it before. I don’t remember.” The Spaniard knew that his boyfriend could exactly remember about it, but still Carlos smiled to himself, before he leaned down and placed a light kiss onto his team-mate’s forehead and whispered “Then I have to remember you every single morning about it.”</p><p>They both went silent, enjoyed the warmth and closeness of their bodies and just laid there and listened to their breathings and heartbeats. It was the Spaniard, who finally broke the comfortable silence, when he asked with his nose being still buried deep inside his boyfriend’s curls “You have smiled in your sleep.”</p><p>Lando kept quiet. Carlos could tell he did listen and hadn’t fallen asleep again, so he went on “Have you dreamed about something nice? Or maybe was it because you have finally told me about your feelings? Are you feeling more relieved, better now?”</p><p>Slowly the young Brit moved in his boyfriend’s arms, his cheeks were still lightly blushed and he looked with such big, innocence eyes up at him, that it took Carlos’ breath away for one moment. “Maybe. I don’t know. But it also feels kind of strange even when I’m happy that I have told you about it.”</p><p>“I can understand it, mi amor, but you really don’t have to feel this way. You be safe in my arms, you don’t have to be afraid. But please, just promise me one thing from now on, mi amor.” The older one pleaded, stroking Lando’s cheeks with the back of his fingers while doing so.</p><p>Agreeing, his boyfriend nodded his head and looked all expectant up at him. “Please, tell me always the truth from now on, mi amor. I really don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or do anything you don’t like. Just tell me what is going on inside your head, tell me about your thoughts, your fears, your feelings, your wishes. I want to be there for you in every possible way, but I can only do that if you let me in your life. I really don’t want you any harm. You can trust me, mi amor. You know that.”</p><p>With still the same big, beautiful eyes Lando was looking up at him and nodded his head in agreement just moments later. “I promise. I will give my best.” With a grateful smile on his lips Carlos leaned down to cover Lando’s so warm and smooth lips with his own, before he whispered still so close to that soft flesh “I know, mi amor. I know you always give your very best.”</p><p>That suddenly thoughtful look in his boyfriend’s face, got Carlos a little worried. He knew the younger one was always very self-critical, but he also exactly knew that he always tried his very best by whatever he was doing. It was impossible to convince him from the opposite.</p><p>Unsure Lando began to draw invisible, little circles on top of the older once shirt, before he finally told him with a small voice “I have tried it. I really have. When I have slept over at your place for the first time, I have really got there with the conviction to have sex with you. I have prepared myself for it in my thoughts, told myself to do it already since days. I didn’t want to disappoint you, knew that you were waiting for it to finally happen. I was scared to lose you, if I don’t sleep with you. I knew it would happen one day. I knew you would want it one day, that we will get to this point. But then I saw your bedroom, your bed and even when I have already seen your flat before, I got so damn nervous. Believe me, I have really tried it, but.. I just can’t. I wasn’t ready and I’m scared I won’t ever be. I’m sorry.”</p><p>And once again it broke the Spaniard’s heart into a million pieces. Why hadn’t he noticed anything any time sooner? He would have saved his boyfriend’s so many fears. “Mi amor, it’s okay. It really is. You don’t have to be sorry for anything and you could never ever disappoint me. I know you have tried and even if we won’t ever sleep with each other, it’s okay. I don’t love you any less because of it, the total opposite even. Please, stop thinking about it this way.”</p><p>“I will try.” Lando did response and Carlos was proud about him for the small smile he did offer. “I know you will, mi amor. Come here.” The older one whispered, before he covered those from God’s own hands so beautiful formed lips.</p><p>Absently, Carlos was stroking with his fingertips over Lando’s arms, when he asked softly “Can I ask you something, mi amor?” The younger one hummed in response and moved in his arms, feeling a little uncomfortable by that question, even before he actually got to know about what his boyfriend exactly wanted to ask him.</p><p>“Why were you so surprised, when I said I am your boyfriend? Do you have thought we aren’t in a relationship, mi amor?” He could watch the way Lando bit down onto his lower lip, thinking hard about how to form his feelings and thoughts into words.</p><p>“I don’t know. I just couldn’t believe it that you would call me your boyfriend, that you even want me to be your boyfriend. It had just never crossed my mind, have never thought that I was good enough for you.”</p><p>“Oh, mi amor. Stop saying such things. You are actually the best boyfriend I can imagine and if it wouldn’t cause so many problems I would like to scream it into the world, because I’m so damn happy and proud about being in a relationship with you. And you are enough, Lando. More than just enough. More than I have ever dared to dream for.”</p><p>Lando nodded understanding his head, even when the Spaniard know that by now he just couldn’t believe his words. But he exactly knew that one day he will. One day Lando will see himself the same beautiful way like Carlos did see him.</p><p>After cuddling some more and enjoying each other’s company, Carlos told his friend while Lando was still laying with his head on top of his chest “I hope it’s okay for you, but Sacha knows about us. He had seen me kissing you this morning and he had also got us the duvet in the night.”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s okay. I think he already knew anyway.” Lando answered, the smile in his face was also audible. “Yes, he did. Do you want someone else to know about us as well?” Carlos asked carefully, he didn’t know how his boyfriend will react to it.</p><p>The young Brit repelled himself from the older one, so he was now laying with his upper body on top of his and looked directly into his eyes, when he answered “Not now. I like the way it is right now.” Carlos leaned forward to place a sweet kiss onto his boyfriend’s mouth, before he did response “Then it will stay like that, mi amor.”</p><p>After this Sunday morning, the two of them didn’t talk about that topic any more. Carlos wanted it to be like always, he didn’t want it to affect their lives, because it really didn’t. And he also didn’t want to talk about only that any more, exactly knowing how uncomfortable Lando still was about it. Things should settle first.</p><p>It was on Saturday’s afternoon the next week, the couple spent their free time at Carlos’ place, when he took his phone from lying next to them on the couch and showed Lando, resting against his side, something.</p><p>“I have found this during the week. Are you okay, if I would order it?” The Spaniard asked his boyfriend, watching his reaction to it close. Carlos had found a book about asexuality on the internet. He had spent much time with finding the right one, but he thought that this one could maybe help them. It was written by affected people, who felt the same as Lando and it also explained the huge term closer.</p><p>His boyfriend looked unsure at the screen for some seconds, before Carlos told him about what this book was about and that he only wanted to help him. “But you said I’m not sick and that neither you nor anyone else can help me. Haven’t you said the truth then?”</p><p>“I’m sorry, mi amor, of course I haven’t lied to you then. I didn’t mean it like that. I want to help you, but not in this kind of way. I just want to understand you to make you happy, give you the things you need and make you feel good. I want you to be as happy as you can be.”</p><p>Lando smiled softly at him, tears already building up in his eyes, because he was still so touched about his boyfriend’s understanding and that he really only meant it good with him. “You are perfect, Carlos. Do you know that?” He then leaned up to place a warm kiss onto his boyfriend’s lips, being still so endless thankful to have someone like him in his life.</p><p>“So you are okay with it?” The Spaniard still asked to make sure, he really didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. “Yeah. I think it’s a good idea.” Lando did response, before he cuddled himself against his boyfriend again, while the older one did order the book online.</p><p>The next days, even weeks long, Carlos was reading in that book. Not because he was a bad reader or didn’t want to read at all, he was actually reading it already the third time, but he wanted to understand it. He really wanted to understand every single word.</p><p>When the couple finally saw each other after the holidays again, because they spent it separated with their family because Sacha was still the only one who knew about their relationship, Carlos was just busy with taking care of their laundry, when Lando found the book lying on top of the night stand.</p><p>Because it was quiet, too quiet for his boyfriend’s behaviour, Carlos began to look after him and finally found the young racer sitting on top of his bed with his legs crossed and the book on top of his lap, reading preoccupied in it. Lando hadn’t even heard his boyfriend calling after him nor had he noticed him standing in the doorway watching him now.</p><p>Only when the Spaniard stepped closer to him, he got it that Lando wasn’t reading in the book, instead he did read the sheet he had made himself some notes onto and used as a bookmark.</p><p>The young Brit only noticed his boyfriend, when he sat down on the end of the bed and smiled softly at him. “I’m sorry. I got curious, when I saw it.” Lando tried to explain, but didn’t pull the book away. “It’s okay, mi amor.” With the sheet still rustle between his fingers, Lando asked “What is this? Why have you written all these notes on it?”</p><p>“Actually, I have wanted to ask you them one day. I have thought maybe you could tell me how you do feel and in return I will tell you my feelings. But we really don’t need to do this now, if you don’t want to.” Carlos explained, but to his surprise Lando did quickly response “No, I would like to do that right now. I mean, why not.”</p><p>He already handled over his boyfriend the sheet, so he could ask him his questions, even when he had already read them himself. “Alright, mi amor. Just tell me to stop if you don’t want to go on and I will. You don’t have to answer anything you don’t want.” Carlos made himself comfortable opposite Lando, he also crossed his legs and did support his left elbow against his tight. </p><p>That afternoon, the Spaniard had the feeling that only right now he really got to know his boyfriend. His thoughts, his fears, his worries, his feelings. Every new question brought a new wave of goose bumps over his whole body and he was so endless grateful about Lando being willing to let him be a part of his world. And with the same patient and also all truthfully, the young Brit answered his boyfriend’s questions.</p><p>They also talked about the moment Carlos thought Lando wasn’t able to feel any love for him. The young racer told him, that he was really happy about being able to feel this way. If he would imagine it to look at Carlos and feel the same for him like for everyone else, without that wonderful, tingling feeling deep inside his belly, like he wasn’t something special, made him sad.</p><p>But even if it would be this way, it would be just the same as with his missing sexual urge. How could he miss something he never had?</p><p>But still they were both very happy about this not being the case. For Carlos this feeling was a thousand times more important than having sex with his boyfriend. It would have probably broken his heart in the end to know, that he wasn’t something special to him. But Lando had these deep feelings for him and with them together they will make it, whatever will come. As long as love was in the play, they will make it together.</p><p>Here both of them agreed, that feelings, especially love, was more important. But still Carlos wanted to know what Lando thought or felt, when he looked at him. The young racer tried to explain it as good as he could. He said he didn’t hate every body contact, the total opposite actually.</p><p>He was alright with normal body contact, like shaking hands or hugging a member of his family or friends, but everything more only Carlos was allowed to do. He was the first one he had that close body contact with, the first one he had kissed and of course also the first one he had told that he loved him. He was the first and only one.</p><p>Lando loved, enjoyed and even waited for his boyfriend’s touches. He adored it, when Carlos stroked him, while they were cuddling. He adored it, when they were kissing, even when in the beginning it was still all so uncomfortable for him.</p><p>But the actual question about what he did feel, when he looked at the older one, he couldn’t answer that easily. Sure Lando loved his boyfriend’s body, he liked it to look at him and also touch him, feel his skin and hard muscles underneath his fingertips, but that already was it.</p><p>There didn’t happen anything to the young racer’s body or caused any feelings or even lust inside him. For him, Carlos was very beautiful, but his body wasn’t the first thing why he did love him so much. He didn’t feel attracted to him because of his body.</p><p>Only the trust and their deep connection let it happen, that Lando let it happen and wanting it that Carlos touched or even kissed him. The Spaniard felt the goose bumps on his whole body once more and also that warm, tingling feeling running down his back, when he realized that this what Lando was feeling for him was love. Pure, endless love.</p><p>Not because of his look-like or how he was in bed was the reason why he wanted to be together with him. The younger one wanted to be his boyfriend because of his being, the way he treated him, his inner beauty. It touched Carlos deeply, because he knew now how precious Lando’s trust and love to him really was.</p><p>The Spaniard wanted to let his boyfriend knew, that he didn’t have any ulterior motives, when they were cuddling together or when they were kissing. He really didn’t need to be scared that he only thought about that the whole time. The same when he was looking at him. In his eyes, Lando was the most beautiful human being on this planet and he adored it to watch him, without becoming instantly the need to jump on him.</p><p>Still, the Spaniard tried to explain to Lando what effect he still had on him and especially his body. He told him the thoughts he had, when they were making out and Lando was laying on top of him, their middles pressed against each other. Even when he had tried it, the young racer wasn’t able to understand why his boyfriend did feel this way, but at the same time it didn’t scary him, because he knew that Carlos would never ever hurt him.</p><p>But the Spaniard wanted his friend to understand, that even after everything he still had needs. When he looked at his sweet, little butt inside those tight jeans, when he rested his palms on top of his cheeks and squeezed them lightly, it caused a certain desire inside his body.</p><p>Lando couldn’t follow his boyfriend, when he told him about how crazy his flat, trained belly made him and how much he liked to touch his smooth legs. Without even wanting it, Carlos then began to daydream about having those legs wrapped around his waist and watch the muscles of his belly flinch, when he entered him.</p><p>Dreams Lando would best call nightmares, because the thought about pulling his genitals into someone else’s or visa versa, was simply horrible. He just didn’t get the reason why someone should do that voluntary or maybe even do it with pleasure and enjoy it. It was so disgusting for him to just imagine it to put your genitals into a hole were usually your excreta were coming out or even worse put the genitals into someone’s mouth and maybe even kiss afterwards.</p><p>Carlos had to smile here, not because he thought the things Lando said were wrong, the total opposite even. He was simple right, if you thought about it. The young Brit knew that his friend wasn’t laughing at him, but still he wanted to know why he was smiling.</p><p>It was difficult to explain his boyfriend that he was right, but at the same time there was this desire to do exactly this. Lando’s eyes widened and with a small voice he asked him if he also had that desire and if he had maybe already even done that. Carlos didn’t want to lie to his boyfriend, so he nodded his head and watched how the younger once expression changed into lightly disgusted.</p><p>He tried to calm down with securing him, that his last time was already a very long time ago and since they knew each other he hadn’t done anything of that and he also won’t do it in the future.</p><p>Understanding and also relieved Lando had nodded his head, before he told his boyfriend, that he also didn’t understand it, why everyone had to talk about it. Why everything had to be about sex and why everyone wanted to be better than the other.</p><p>The young Brit had always thought that sleeping with someone was something very special and intimate between two people, but everyone just talked about it. With whom, how, how often, where, just every detail. He had always thought that having sex with someone was a pact between two lovers, who really cared about each other, but it didn’t look like that at all to him.</p><p>Many were even proud about to tell with how many people they already had sex with or sometimes also with how many at the same time. Or maybe also with someone they didn’t even know, someone they had just met. It was all too much for Lando to understand, but Carlos tried to calm him down with telling him that he didn’t have to worry about that he would do the same.</p><p>He won’t ever tell anybody about his sexuality or about what the two of them were doing when they were alone. That was no one’s business and no one had to know about it. He had never done this before, in none of his relationships. Carlos was never the type to boast about his sex life.</p><p>The Spaniard then told his boyfriend about his last relationship with that, he was now sure about it, sex addicted guy. That was why Carlos had never asked himself or got nervous when Lando wasn’t obviously willing to want to make the next step. He just enjoyed that time, without everything always leading to sex.</p><p>The older one also wanted to know if Lando did masturbate, because he had read in his book, that many were doing that even with their asexuality. Quickly the young racer shook his head and explained his boyfriend about having it tried once.</p><p>He was fifteen back then and because everyone was doing it, he also wanted to give it a try. He had thought that maybe it would finally realize his sex urge, which all the other boys in his age already had. He had really tried his best, but he was so disgusted about everything, that he had even started to cry in the end.</p><p>Carlos nodded in sympathy, but still he didn’t understand it why Lando got an erection, when they were making out. The younger one tried to explain his situation with an example. He meant that if you go running you also couldn’t control your body that easily and just tell it to breathe more slowly or tell your heart to stop beating that fast.</p><p>And the same it was with his erection, because his body did react to it, he did get the desire for more, but his brain didn’t. He just couldn’t control or stop it, even when he wanted it. It wasn’t possible to stop himself from getting a hard one, but he also didn’t know what to do with it. Yes, he did feel the hardness, but he didn’t get the urge to touch or even use it. Lando just always waited till his erection was gone and that was it already for him.</p><p>When the young racer asked if Carlos did masturbate, he could watch his boyfriend’s cheeks blushing a little, even when he never had a problem with talking about this topic. But still he felt this way, while for Lando it was a normal question about which answer he was waiting for curiously and without being ashamed.</p><p>Actually the older one had wanted to answer that everyone was doing it, at least he would have answered if someone else had asked him that question, but shortly before he could have said it out loud he got it, that it wouldn’t have been the right thing to say.</p><p>He tried to explain his boyfriend that it was already kind of routine for him he had once started and now couldn’t stop any more. Mostly because he was boring, rare because of lust. But he always felt better after it and that alone was reason enough to do it again.</p><p>To Lando’s question if he had also already seen a porno in his life before, Carlos had to smile. Only one? Truthfully he answered him that mostly when he jerked off he watched pornos, but only because he will be finished sooner because of it. It confused Lando why someone was doing this. It was so disgusting.</p><p>For Lando, it did almost sound like masturbate was kind of duty for his boyfriend, he didn’t like to do most of the time. Like he didn’t want it, but he had to. When Carlos didn’t even like it, why was he doing it then? To that question the older one didn’t have an answer, because he didn’t know it himself. It was like eating and drinking, his body just needed it.</p><p>Lando also wanted to talk about, that he found it horrible the got confronted with sex just everywhere. That had forced him under pressure for a longer time, when he still hadn’t known about being asexual. When Carlos thought about it and listened close to his friend, he had to admit that he was right.</p><p>Every good movie just had to have a sex scene. There was no movie where two people were only cuddling together. And why did they always have to be so noisy, even loud while doing so? It did sound so acted and unnatural. Did people also sound like that, when there weren’t any cameras around filming them? And even when many songs were about love, was sex here present as well. Songs which were even heard by children.</p><p>But sex sells. In almost every advertising you could see it. In almost every book. There were even whole series about only this topic. They were telling you that if you didn’t have enough sex in your life you weren’t normal. Because sex was the best thing in life, right?</p><p>But not for Lando. For him only thinking about it was already bad enough. For him sex definitely wasn’t the only and especially not the best way to show your boyfriend how much you cared about him. How could this physically urge even be stronger than anything else?</p><p>Yeah, it maybe was an opinion, but sure as hell not the only one. But nothing was better than trusting each other, to do something together, to have fun, to laugh together and especially to talk together. What would sex be worth, if a whole relationship was only about it and everything else wouldn’t be present at all?</p><p>About being asexual Lando knew about three years. Actually he didn’t know it, because no one could tell him he was and there also didn’t exist a test or something like that. But he knew and he was asexual because he was feeling this way. The end.</p><p>He had read the first time on the internet about it and after reading some texts about this topic he could identify himself as one of them. And it was okay for him. He himself never had a problem with that. He was happy with his life, only a little insecure sometimes.</p><p>It had already become dark outside. Lando and Carlos had been talking for hours and it felt good. In the end, the young Brit wanted to know if the Spaniard could imagine having a relationship only with love but without any sex.</p><p>The older one pulled his boyfriend closer, wrapped his arms around his small upper body and whispered down to him with a smile on his lips “I cannot even imagine such a relationship, I also want it. And by the way, we already have one, if you haven’t noticed, mi amor. And it is perfect the way it is.”</p><p>Lando giggled in his boyfriend’s arms, while he looked so grateful up into his eyes. But his expression changed from one second to the other, when a thought hit him like a slap into his face. With a small voice, but still meaning it all serious he told him “If you want.. I mean.. if you get that desire.. you can.. have sex with someone else, if it helps you. I think it would be okay for me.”</p><p>“No, it won’t be okay, mi amor. Don’t worry, I don’t want to do that. I belong to you and only to you. I don’t want to hurt you in any way. I really don’t need it, only you and no one else. You really don’t have to be worried about that, I will stay by your side.” Soothed Carlos his boyfriend, who seemed to be very relieved about it.</p><p>Even when sex didn’t mean anything to Lando, it would have still hurt him in some kind of way to know that his boyfriend was with someone else. He even already began to feel sick, just thinking about that Carlos’ hands had already touched another body just like him before. To know that just moments ago he would have held someone else in his arms, had been so close and maybe even kissed was horrible for Lando.</p><p>But if it had been the only solution to make Carlos stay with him, he would have agreed to it. Somehow he would have made it, because Lando couldn’t lose the Spaniard any more. He would have accepted it, if Carlos would have really wanted it, because he did love him and wanted him to be happy. But the Spaniard already was happy and he also wanted him to be happy, why he would never ever do something like that.</p><p>“I love you, Carlos. I love you for everything you do for me.” Lando whispered, before he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and cuddled himself closer to his warmth. “I love you too, mi amor. For me, you are perfect the way you are.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What do you think my lovely readers?</p><p>Did I explain Lando's thoughts, feelings and fears understandable? I hope I did a good job and made us all understand Lando better.</p><p>And before you ask - No, I'm not asexual and I really hope I haven't attacked anyone who is with my story.</p><p>But let me tell you one last thing about this chapter - Their journay has just began. They both don't know what will come their way in the next few chapters. There won't always be sunshine..</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“…and then we switched to iRacing and then…” Lando was currently telling Carlos one of his stream stories, where he got all excited, maybe even a little too excited, because the words rolled over his tongue very quickly and almost uncontrolled, so the Spaniard really had to concentrate to not miss one part and lose the point.</p><p>They were in the Spaniard’s flat, sitting all lazily on his couch in the living room. Lando had just got here and still Carlos didn’t want him to ever leave again. The older one supported his head on his hand, while he leaned against the back of the couch and listened close and with interest to his boyfriend’s story.</p><p> “…and when I crashed into him we both literally flew through the air and…” With his hands and legs the young Brit was telling his boyfriend his story in every detail. Carlos adored it when he was like that. He really wasn’t annoyed about that it took him so long to get to the point. Carlos even liked these stories, because they caused Lando to get so excited and it made him even happier to tell them to him. And when Lando was happy, Carlos was it as well.</p><p>“…we were laughing for minutes, Max even swallowed and I had tears running down my face. But do you know what he has said, when he had finally calmed down again?” The Spaniard smiled to himself, because he admired it that his boyfriend could get so much enthusiasm for something someone else wouldn’t even blink about.</p><p>“No, I don’t know, mi amor. Tell me.” Carlos answered, while he pulled his boyfriend together with his big, exciting grin closer to his side. “He.. I don’t remember any more what he had exactly said, because it was in Dutch and it meant something like..”</p><p>Lando abruptly stopped his story then, like he did remember about something suddenly, before he looked up at his boyfriend and asked him with a much quieter and smaller voice “I’m already talking too much again, right?”</p><p>Carlos frowned at his boyfriend, before he gave him a warm smile and stroked his cheeks with the back of his fingers “You never talk too much, mi amor.” Lando bit unsure down onto his lip, while he eyed his boyfriend’s expression close to find out if he was telling him the truth or not.</p><p>“Really? Because many people have already told me that I’m talking way too much sometimes. They only want to hear the short versions of my stories, if anyway.” Like a little sorry puppy he was looking up at Carlos, who just couldn’t believe it that someone out there was able to say something like that to this face right here.</p><p>“You really don’t talk too much, mi amor. These people have simply forgotten how to listen. I love all of your stories and could listen to them the whole day long. And I really love to see you getting all excited and enthusiasm for even the simplest things. Don’t listen to them, mi amor.”</p><p>Lando already knew that before, but this situation and especially the Spaniard’s words showed him once more how damn lucky he was to call Carlos his boyfriend. He was always so understanding, supportive and nice to him, he could sometimes tear up because of it.</p><p>Carlos was simply the best and sometimes the younger one couldn’t believe that his boyfriend-Carlos and the Formula-one-Carlos was one and the same person. The Spaniard was always so caring, sweet and gently around him, but that changed in the second he got into his McLaren.</p><p>Carlos was the devil behind the wheel, an amazing driver, but he was an even better boyfriend. No one could understand it better than the Spaniard himself, that racing was Lando’s life and that it will come first and only mattered any more, when he got into the car. The same did count for him.</p><p>And because they both had the same passion for this sport, they both didn’t try to change each other, instead they did support each other whenever and wherever they could. On the track they were first team-mates and second also rivals. Sure, they would never hurt or bring each other in danger on the track, but there they were a couple only third.</p><p>But the second they pulled down their helmets, their principles changed again. They were the boyfriends-Carlos and Lando again, not the racing drivers any more. They cared about these once, the persons and not only the Formula One drivers.</p><p>They were there for each other, when they needed some support, but they also let each other space, when they needed some time and wanted to be alone. They both understood that because they were in the same boat.</p><p>Since a longer time, the Brit didn’t only have a crush on his team-mate any more. God, at one point Lando had a little crush on almost every one of his friends. First it was George, then Alex and even for Max he was crushing for some time. He had told Carlos about his crushes, but also that he had never felt the same for them like he did for him.</p><p>It was something completely different between the two of them and Lando could say for sure that it was love, even deep love he was feeling for the older one. Nothing compared to what he had ever felt in his life before. And that Carlos felt the same for him made everything perfect.</p><p>Lando gave his boyfriend one of his cutest smiles as answer, before he snuggled himself against his warm chest and let himself fall for some moments. “So what has Max said now?” Carlos asked interested, after he had kissed his head. “I really don’t remember any more. I think it were just swearwords in Dutch.”</p><p>Lando laughed and so did Carlos, before he meant “Probably, as we know Max. It does sound like him. Anyway, you have got some of your stuff with you today?” The Spaniard changed the subject, when he looked over at Lando’s black bag on the floor.</p><p>“Yeah. I have got some shirts and sweatpants to change, also a toothbrush, a pyjama, underwear and socks and also some shower gel. Do you think that’s enough for the beginning?” Lando asked, after he had counted all the things he had packed inside the bag with his fingers.</p><p>Carlos smiled at him, asking himself for the thousand time how he deserved someone so cute. “That’s perfect for the beginning, mi amor. But you can always get more stuff, if you want it. You don’t have to ask me, alright?” Understanding Lando nodded his head, while the Spaniard thought about the night a few days ago.</p><p>They had both fallen asleep in front of the television in Carlos’ flat. Actually they had wanted to drive over to Lando’s place for the night, but because it was already late and they were both way too tired and warm for getting outside into the cold, they stayed at the Spaniard’s place.</p><p>Carlos gave Lando one of his shirt for sleeping and the next morning he gave him also a new toothbrush and even when he really didn’t complain about these things, he actually really adored it to see his small boyfriend in one of his way too big looking shirts, he had asked Lando if he didn’t want to take some of his stuff over into his flat, just in case something like that should happen again.</p><p>First a little shocked the young Brit had eyed him, but quickly that expression got replaced by shiny eyes and a big smile, before he agreed to his suggestion. But only if Carlos will do the same and take some of his stuff to his place as well.</p><p>“Great. Then let us see if we are able to find some place for your clothes in my wardrobe. It’s not like your tiny shirts need that much place anyway, right?” Carlos teased his boyfriend, who giggled sweetly in response.</p><p>Quickly they had stowed away Lando’s clothes and they both didn’t know why, but it felt pretty good, when the young Brit placed his toothbrush right next to Carlos’ in the bathroom.</p><p>Later that day, Lando was telling his boyfriend once again one of his stories and when he got quiet and thoughtful from one second to the other again, Carlos placed his index finger under his chin, because he wanted to look him into his beautiful eyes, when he told him the next “You don’t talk too much, mi amor. Really. I’m glad and thankful for the so adorable, perfect way you are.”</p><p>Lando smiled grateful at him and tears began to build up in his eyes, when he whispered back “Thank you for accepting me the way I am.” And they both knew Lando didn’t only mean his talking routine, but also the topic about which they hadn’t talked about since days.</p><p>Carlos still hadn’t changed his mind about it. He still loved Lando with his whole heart, for everything he was, including this. He didn’t love him less, if any then he loved him even more than before for his asexuality. Carlos had fallen for Lando’s soul.</p><p>The Spaniard smiled softly at him, even when he didn’t have to thank him for that. He knew Lando was still thinking much about this all, about their relationship and how this all will work out, but Carlos was still sure about that they will make it. “Don’t worry, mi amor. We will find our own way.” He whispered, before he kissed him long and soft.</p><p>But still, they didn’t need to discus and talk about it every day. It wasn’t something bad, some problem they needed to solve and Carlos saw no point in talking about it so often. Sure, he never forgot about it and he will always listen when Lando wanted to talk about it, but he also didn’t want to pressure him, because he was still so insecure.</p><p>But Carlos could tell and also see, that Lando had changed a lot since he had told him his secret. He was way more open-minded than before and Carlos was pretty proud about him, because his boyfriend took the initiative more often in the last time to just go over to steal him a little kiss, touched him whenever he had the desire for it, come to him on his own, because he got it that he simply could, whenever he wanted.</p><p>Lando had also once told the Spaniard that at the moment he didn’t like his palm on top of his bare lower belly so close to his middle, when they were cuddling. Carlos wasn’t offended about it, even the contrary. He was happy and damn proud about his boyfriend and relieved that he wasn’t too shy to tell him when he wasn’t feeling comfortable.</p><p>Also Lando’s sleeping habit had already changed. He wasn’t that restless anymore and he also didn’t move so much during his sleep any more. Carlos adored it to watch him sleep all peacefully and still next to him. At least in his sleep nothing seems to bother and worry him any more. Lando also finally managed to sleep through the nights.</p><p>The Spaniard knew his boyfriend was still reading some texts on the internet, after he had finished that one book. Carlos was happy and also relieved that Lando was willing to get to know more about his own sexuality. He wasn’t afraid about it any more and it made Carlos once more all proud about him.</p><p>Lando should learn to love himself and who he was. He should love himself as much as Carlos loved him. Even with or better especially because of his asexuality.</p><p>A few days later, the Spaniard was actually just on his way back from the factory, it was already pretty late, when he got a call from Lando’s room-mate. “Hey, Sash. What’s up?” Carlos talked to the hands-free device, asking himself why the young Argentine did call him that late.</p><p>Lando and Carlos had decided that because his workday at the factory will be pretty long today, the Spaniard will drive home, because he will be all exhausted and tired anyway. They had planned to see each other the next morning, go for breakfast together before doing some training.</p><p>“Hey, Carlos. I know it’s already pretty late and you are probably already lying in bed, but..” Sacha stopped here and the Spaniard would lie if he would say he wasn’t a little worried about his behaviour.</p><p>“Don’t worry, I’m still on my way back home. So, what is it?” The Spaniard asked him concerned, he could exactly hear out of his voice that something was wrong. “It’s just that.. I don’t know why, but Lando is crying. Since hours actually and I just can’t calm him down and he also doesn’t stop. Maybe you could come over? I’m sure you can calm him down.”</p><p>Carlos’ heart began to beat faster and he was fully worried by now. “I’m there in twenty minutes. Keep on trying, Sash. I will get to you as fast as possible.” The Spaniard answered, got a quick thank you from the Argentine in response, before he hung up and made his fastest way over to the two boys.</p><p>Arrived, Sacha opened the front door instantly for him and on their way to Lando’s room, he tried to give him an update “I think he kind of has a panic attack by now. I really don’t know what has happened, he doesn’t want to tell me.”</p><p>Carlos’ belly began to knot and he got some kind of intuition about what had happened or at least what the reason about his boyfriend’s tears was. The Spaniard found Lando curled up like a ball on top of his bed. “Hey, mi amor. It’s me.” Carlos said to him as calmly as possible, after he had taken place on the edge of the bed and had placed his hand on top of his trembling upper arm.</p><p>Lando had his eyes pressed close and was cradling himself back and forth slowly, while he whispered inaudible things to himself. “Lando. Look at me, please.” The Spaniard said more loudly, but not less calm. Only then the young Brit opened his eyes and his expression changed into pain distorted like just that movement did already hurt him badly.</p><p>“Hey, what’s wrong, mi amor? What happened?” Carlos asked softly, while he eyed him for any visible injuries on his body. “Carlos.. I.. can’t breathe..” Lando pressed out of his lungs with the rest of his straight, while tears of fear were running down his face.</p><p>Of course, Carlos realized the situation and how serious it was, but still he stayed all calm and tried to soothe his boyfriend softly. “You can, Lando. I know you can. Let me help you.” Carefully the Spaniard helped his boyfriend laying down onto his back, pulling his arms to his side and getting a pillow under his head.</p><p>Sacha helped him, he placed some more pillows under Lando’s legs, so they were higher than his heart. “And now try to breathe deep and slowly, mi amor.” Carlos told him, while he was stroking gently over his hand.</p><p>“I can’t..” Lando cried out, his breathing got faster and more uneven with every second and he will sure see black if he won’t calm down soon. “You can, Lando. Let us do it together.” Carlos encouraged him, laid his flat hand lightly on top of the Brit’s chest, close to his heart and showed him to breathe deep inside his lungs and exhale long and slowly again.</p><p>Carlos could tell he was really trying, his eyes were all fixed on him, but still his panic attack was stronger. Since now Sacha was holding back his breath, being not such a good role-model, but now he also joined Carlos’ regular and loud breathing and Lando looked over to him as well.</p><p>“Close your eyes, mi amor. Concentrate on my hand on your chest. Let it move with your breathing, feel the warmth, take your time.” The Spaniard whispered, even when his own heart was racing wild.</p><p>After he had stroked with the back of his fingers over his boyfriend’s tear strained cheeks, he slowly closed his eyes and did like he got told. Gently Carlos rubbed his thumb over Lando’s still wild racing chest, when suddenly the younger one put both of his hands on top of his and held himself onto it.</p><p>The Spaniard smiled sadly to himself, he was really worried about his boyfriend. But like he had known since the beginning, Lando was stronger than his panic attack and he very slowly began to calm down again. “That’s right. Keep on like that, mi amor.” He praised him in relieve.</p><p>They were sitting like that already a half eternity. Sacha by Lando’s legs, stroking him softly in encourage and Carlos had his hand still on top of his now so much slower racing chest. Lovingly the Spaniard brushed the lightly sweated curls away from his boyfriend’s forehead, caused him so to open his eyes weakly.</p><p>“Hey, mi amor. What are you doing, huh?” He asked with a smile, showing Lando so that he didn’t mean it serious. With his lips into a thin line and in shame glistening eyes, he looked up at his friend. “It’s alright.” The older one whispered, before he leaned down and pressed a kiss onto his sweated forehead.</p><p>“Here, Lando. Maybe you should drink something.” Sacha said standing next to them, they both hadn’t noticed him leaving, just to come back with a glass of water. “Sash is right, mi amor. Let me help you sit up.”</p><p>Carefully the Spaniard helped his boyfriend sitting up and lean against the headboard of his bed. “Thanks.” Carlos said, when he took the glass from Sacha’s grip and noticed by the way how bad the Argentine’s hand was shaking. “Here you are, mi amor. Take some sips, you will feel better after.” He tried to encourage him, before he did lead the glass to his lips and he even drank it empty.</p><p>Only drinking alone was already exhausting enough for Lando to get all breathless and sweated again. Concerned Carlos checked the Brit’s forehead if he maybe had some fever, but he didn’t feel hot at all. With a tilted head he watched him close, but didn’t get clever out of his pale, so tired looking face.</p><p>“I will leave the two of you alone now. Just call me if you need something.” Sacha finally said, he had probably got it that Lando would only tell his boyfriend the cause of his many tears and panic attack, when they will be alone</p><p>Carlos nodded thankful into Sacha’s direction, before he took place right next to his boyfriend and pulled him carefully into his arms. “Carlos.. I..” Lando tried, but he was still too weak to talk to his boyfriend by now.</p><p>“It’s okay, mi amor. Take your time. I won’t go anywhere.” The Spaniard whispered into his curls, while he cradled him softly and stroked over his still shaking body. He tried to get him warm with placing the duvet tightly around his body and rubbing his upper arms.</p><p>Slowly but sure, Lando did calm down and Carlos had actually expected him to have already fallen asleep, when the younger one began to move in his arms just to look up at him like a wounded deer.</p><p>“Do you think you can tell me what had happened now?” The older one asked carefully, he really didn’t want to overwhelm him. And even when Lando had nodded in agreement, he still stayed quiet and looked at some random point.</p><p>Only after seconds Carlos got it that he was looking at his phone laying on the night stand. When he reached for it, he could feel his boyfriend tense in his arms and he also noticed the way he tried to hide himself under the duvet.</p><p>Carlos unlocked Lando’s phone and the last browser side his boyfriend had visited did pop up instantly. The Spaniard flew with his eyes over the text. First confused with a frown, but quickly his mood changed. He got all angry and horrified about what he was reading there. And then he finally understood.</p><p>“Lando. Why are you reading this?” The older one asked his boyfriend maybe a little too loud, because Lando did flinch together badly and tried to pull the duvet over his nose. Carlos didn’t know how he had found this web side, but it was full of nasty, harsh and insulting texts about people being asexual.</p><p>“I don’t ever want you to read something like that again, you hear me? These people don’t have a brain at all, they don’t know what the hell they are talking about and they use the anonymity of the internet to write such disgusting things about other people and their lives. They don’t have a fucking clue about it. I don’t want you to read something like that.”</p><p>Deep inside Lando’s eyes were building up thick, clear tears again and with a shaking, abashed voice he asked his boyfriend “Are you mad at me now?” Only then Carlos got it how loud he had become, but he couldn’t hold himself back any more. He just couldn’t believe it how stupid people could be.</p><p>They weren’t even aware about what they could cause when affected people were reading their outrageously stuff. Especially when it were young, unsure people, who just accepted their sexuality, just like Lando. Best Carlos wanted to find out who these people were and tell them how incredible dump they were.</p><p>Carlos softened his expression, even put a small smile on his lips when he shook his head and talked into a calmer voice than before “No, mi amor. Of course, I’m not angry at you. But I’m very mad at these people.”</p><p>The Spaniard took his boyfriend’s hands into his and kissed the back of his fingers, before he told him sincerely “Please, promise me you won’t ever read something like that again, mi amor. Everything you have read there, it’s not true. You know that.”</p><p>“But.. they have said someone like me isn’t normal.” Lando whined with a shaking voice. “No, mi amor. You are as normal as them. You are every bit as good as them. There is no difference between you and me. Please, try to forget about their words. I’m really proud about that you want to find out more about your sexuality, but not like that. They don’t know what they are talking. But I know, Lando. You are perfect just the way you are and no one should ever try to tell me or you any different. Don’t take yourself such things too close to your sweet heart. You and I exactly know who you are and that’s the most important thing.”</p><p>Softly Carlos stroked with his fingertips through Lando’s curls, earning for his words some more tears. “Okay, I will try to forget and I promise to not ever read something like this again.” Grateful the Spaniard smiled at him, before he leaned down to finally bring their lips together.</p><p>“That’s my Lando.” He whispered against Lando’s from their kiss still lightly wet lips. “I’m still sorry for scaring you and Sacha.” He whispered, while he snuggled himself closer against his boyfriend’s chest. “It’s alright, mi amor. We will always be there for you.”</p><p>About one hour later, Lando was already fast asleep in the Spaniard’s arms, when Carlos slowly tried to get up without waking his boyfriend. He wanted to check on Sacha, because he wasn’t looking that good as well, after what had happened. The young Argentine he found sitting in their living room, his head snapped up in the second he heard his footsteps.</p><p>“How is he?” He asked instantly with concerned eyes. “He is alright, sleeps already. Thank you for calling me and taking such good care of him. Don’t worry about him any more. How are you?” Sacha looked down on the floor and even when his shoulders did fall, he still looked very concerned.</p><p>“I feel stupid for not being able to calm him down. I have really tried it, but in the end I didn’t know what to do any more, I just didn’t know how to help him. When I asked Lando if I should call you, he had nodded his head so quickly. If it wouldn’t be on you, he would have probably passed out.”</p><p>Quickly Carlos closed the distance between the two of them when he saw the tears glistening in his friend’s eyes and he took him into his arms. “Hey, Sash. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You did a great job, you looked after him and you also helped him with staying by his side and make sure he wasn’t alone. You made everything right. Don’t worry any more, everything is good again.”</p><p>The young Argentine sniffed his tears away and whipped the single tear, which had made it to fall over the edge of his eyes, away from his cheek, before he looked up at the Spaniard. He gave him a warm smile in response, before he patted his head.</p><p>“Has he talked to you? Do you know what had happened, because he didn’t say one word to me?” Sacha asked curiously now and Carlos could understand it that he wanted to know the reason of this whole drama here, but he just couldn’t.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Sash, but I can’t.” The younger one nodded understanding his head, even when the other one could tell that he was a little offended about it. “Alright. I have already expected something like that.” He breathed out loudly, before his lips got into a thin line and he tried to get away.</p><p>But Carlos held him back, with placing his palms against his upper arms. “Sash, don’t feel this way. You mean so much to Lando and he trusts you completely, but this is something different. It really hasn’t anything to do with you and it’s also not his intention to shot you out of his life. I can only tell you that he is kind of overwhelmed about everything what is happening in his life right now. You know, our relationship, the new season and all the stuff around and in between. You know, it’s all still so new for him and he doesn’t know how to handle it right. Lando just needs some time to get used to where this all here is going.”</p><p>Once again Sacha nodded his head and this time Carlos bought him his understanding. “But he isn’t sick or something like that, right?” Quickly the Spaniard shook his head to calm down his nerves. “No, he is all healthy.”</p><p>“That’s good.” The Argentine said more to himself, than to the older one and even when he stopped speaking, Carlos could tell there was still something more he wanted to say. After some moments staring down at him, their eyes caught and for one quick second Carlos had thought he was angry at him, but then Sacha finally said it out loud</p><p>“I don’t know how to say it, but.. since the two of you are together, Lando cries a lot. I don’t exactly know what it is, but even when he cries so often, I still know it’s not because of you, because Lando is happy when he is with you. I know it doesn’t make any sense at all, but.. Please, don’t hurt him, even when I exactly know you are good for him. I know you will take care of him, because you love him, I can see it. And only you can calm him down again. Lando cries a lot, but at the same time he is the happiest man on the whole world, since you are together. He is so damn unsure and self-critical all the time and I bet he thinks he doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve you, but he is so wrong. He deserves it all and even more. I just want him to be happy and if I’m serious, he scared the shit out of me today.”</p><p>Softly the Spaniard smiled down at the younger one, exactly knowing that he was right and somehow he wished him to tell him the truth. He knew Sacha would understand it, he would tell Lando the same things as he did, he would try to encourage him and make him realize that he wasn’t different.</p><p>But Carlos will keep his promise to Lando to not tell anyone about it no matter what. Only Lando himself could do that, the Spaniard didn’t have the right to it. But even when Sacha didn’t know anything about it, he still seemed to understand it.</p><p>“You really don’t have to worry about me hurting Lando. I love him with my whole heart and I would do anything to protect him, also from his own demons. Believe me, one day Lando won’t ever spend one tear about that again. Thank you for trusting me, Sash. I promise, I won’t ever hurt your little friend.”</p><p>Tiredly Sacha smiled at him, before he rubbed his eyes. “I will better go and check on Lando. I don’t want him to wake up alone. Do you think you are good on your own?” Carlos still asked a little worried about the young Argentine, this all here had caused him some nerves as well.</p><p>“I’m good, don’t worry about me. I’m just happy Lando has found someone like you. Buenas noches.” Sacha answered with a warm smile on his lips, before Carlos answered and went upstairs again. “Buenas noches. Gracias por todo.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Finally a new chapter! :)</p><p>Like I have said by the end of the last, there won't be always sunshine and in this chapter we had both, sunshine and rain.</p><p>In the next chapter it won't be only rain - it will be a storm!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here comes the storm..</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carlos couldn’t wait to see Lando again, even when they were just two days apart from each other. The Spaniard had spent the last two days from the early morning until late into the night at their factory, working on their new car with the brand-new Mercedes motor.</p><p>Lando had used these two days to spend some time with his family and playing on his sim. They didn’t have big plans for this afternoon and the following evening. They just wanted to enjoy their time, cuddle in bed while watching a movie. Maybe they will order themselves something to eat later or if anything useable should be in the boy’s fridge, they will maybe cook something together.</p><p>Carlos really couldn’t wait to see his boyfriend again, but in the second he saw Lando standing there like the broken, little soul he looked like in the doorway, he knew something was wrong. He hated to admit it, but he wasn’t looking good. Not as bad as the evening he had told him about his sexuality, but he could exactly tell that something was wrong with him.</p><p>His eyes were empty and glassy, dark, thick eye bags were visible under the sensible skin under his usually sparkling eyes. Lando didn’t look like he had slept well the last nights. He was always a bad sleeper, he could never really find his rest and even carries his own pillow with him whenever they were travelling, so he could fall asleep easier and sleep through the whole night.</p><p>The younger one looked like he had cried recently and his acne had also come back. It did cover most of his face and made him look even more fragile than his expression and body language already made him.</p><p>Carlos had seen it in the very first second that his boyfriend wasn’t feeling very good, but he kept quiet. First he wanted to get inside, take him into his arms and ask him then all carefully what was wrong, what had happened.</p><p>After Carlos had stepped inside the flat and he had greeted the young Brit with a quick kiss, he pulled off his coat and kicked off his shoes, before he followed him into the living room. Sacha obviously wasn’t at home yet.</p><p>Lando was tipping something into his computer, while Carlos eyed him worriedly. Only then he got it that they hadn’t shared one word, expect their greetings, until now. The older one just wanted to ask him what he was up to, when his phone inside his pocket began to ring.</p><p>After Carlos had informed his boyfriend that it was their boss and he didn’t really react to it, he disappeared into Lando’s room to answer the call. After about fifteen minutes, the Spaniard got back into the living room, just to see his boyfriend sitting on the couch, listening to some music through his headphones. </p><p>Carlos pulled his lip into a thin line, because Lando looked so fragile right now. Whatever it was, Lando had to talk with him about it. The older one could tell it did bother him and it won’t get better or maybe it will even cause problems, if he won’t open up and tell him his worries.</p><p>When Carlos got closer to his boyfriend, he could spot over his shoulder the song he was currently listened to. It was <em>When I was your man</em> from Bruno Mars. Of course, he knew this song, it was actual a pretty good one, but something told him that this song wasn’t the right thing for Lando to listen to in his state.</p><p>Finally, the Spaniard stepped around the couch and let himself sink down next to his boyfriend. Carefully he leaned forward, listened to the song coming from the headphones for some moments, before he asked softly “Why do you listen to this song, mi amor?”</p><p>He didn’t wait for Lando’s answer, when he leaned even closer to press a soft kiss onto from his acne reddened and feverish cheek. But the Spaniard didn’t care about that, he never did. He still kissed his skin, even when it was almost completely covered with his acne. Even when he actually knew Lando hated it, because he wasn’t comfortable with it.</p><p>But Carlos just wanted to show him with that, that he was still beautiful to him, but the younger one got it wrong, when Carlos had just wanted to brush the top of his nose over Lando’s, when he pushed him angrily away and spit out with an annoyed voice “I can listen to whatever damn song I want.”</p><p>With heavy steps the Brit stomped into his room and shut the door loudly behind his back. From there on, the afternoon got only worse and worse with every minute. They had a fight, like never before. Actually their first big fight.</p><p>If Carlos was serious he didn’t even know any more why they were fighting. Of course, he had followed Lando into his room, was actually surprised about it that he hadn’t locked the door. Maybe he wanted this fight.</p><p>Carlos tried to tell him all calmly that he could listen to every song he wanted, but he could tell that something did bother him and he was sure about that a song like this didn’t really help to make him feel better.</p><p>Lando snapped back that he didn’t have a clue about what he needed at the moment and what not. To Carlos’ suggestion, that he should better finally talk to him, because he had got it that there was no point to argument with him about what song he should listen to and what not, Lando did lie him right into his face and pretended like there didn’t bother him anything. That everything was alright.</p><p>Carlos knew this wasn’t the truth and he softly tried to push him to finally tell him his worries. Maybe he was offended, because he had talked to Zak the second he had stepped inside. But Lando got only even more aggressive, he didn’t want to get touched, avoided every eye and body contact to his boyfriend. Lando was all furious, his cheeks were glowing in a dark red and his eyes were glassy in anger.</p><p>One thing did lead to the next, they were already fighting since one hour and first Carlos had held himself back, when Lando had begun to scream at him. But because he didn’t want to listen, he also began to yell, even when he hated it to do so.</p><p>The younger one shouted, that he should finally stop to ask him what was wrong and to push him to tell it to him, because there was nothing. Carlos screamed back that he could exactly tell that something was bothering him and if he won’t tell him what was going on, he also couldn’t help him.</p><p>It ended with that Lando yelled once more at his boyfriend, that he didn’t need and also didn’t want his help. He was better on his own and didn’t need him at all. He also didn’t want this any more. All he wanted was Carlos to go away and end it.</p><p>The Spaniard’s heart stopped to beat and even if he had wanted it, he still wouldn’t have been able to yell any more. All the strength inside his body was gone, while his expression softened and all horrified he looked at his team-mate.</p><p>“Is this really what you want?” He asked with a small voice, while Lando kept on watching him with narrowed eyes. “Yes. I want you to finally leave, because I can’t see you any more. Fuck off and let me be!”</p><p>Carlos couldn’t believe his ears. Yes, he would have been okay with it, if Lando had told him he didn’t want this, their relationship, any more. Of course, he would have accepted that, but the way he spoke to him right now, that he even yelled and the words he used, after everything they had been through. This really wasn’t right.</p><p>It was the last Carlos had expected from him. Such a reaction from him, such a dealing, he was really disappointed. So Carlos also looked all angrily at his now ex-boyfriend and told him with a loud, strong voice “Fine. If that’s what you want. Don’t worry, I won’t come back again.”</p><p>With that he left Lando standing behind, grabbed for his coat, got quickly into his shoes and rushed out of the flat. Before Carlos will get home, he needed to go for a walk. He needed to think.</p><p>He really couldn’t understand Lando any more. What had happened to him, that he had changed his mind about him and their relationship so drastic in the last two days? Why didn’t he want to talk with him about it first? Maybe they would have found a solution.</p><p>If Lando wasn’t happy in their relationship any more, if it all had got too much for him or maybe he got it that Carlos wasn’t what he had wanted, the older one would have been fine with that, but not the way Lando had treated him today. </p><p>In the end of his walk, the Spaniard had finally calmed down again, even when he still couldn’t understand the young Brit. But that didn’t really mater any more anyway. They weren’t together any more, like Lando had wanted. Sure, it did break Carlos’ heart into a million pieces and he was already missing him so badly right now, but what should he do?</p><p>He had tried to bring Lando to talk, but he didn’t want to. They have tried, but in the end it didn’t work out. Something was stronger than their love, something Carlos probably won’t ever find out nor understand.</p><p>But still, he wanted to call Lando or maybe even ask him to meet him to talk, but not today any more. He should calm down first, before Carlos wanted to tell him that everything what had happened between the two of them, won’t affect their work.</p><p>And he also didn’t have to worry about that the Spaniard will tell anyone about his big secret, because he sure as hell won’t ever do that. Didn’t matter how long, often or loud Lando would yell at him, he would never do that.</p><p>And maybe they could stay some kind of friends. He also wanted to tell him that he could come to him whenever he needed it, because he wasn’t mad at him. Carlos was just disappointed and very sad. He loved Lando, he still did and will also keep on loving him. But that was life. They had tried and failed.</p><p>Hours later, it was already pretty late, but Carlos didn’t want to go to bed alone already now, he was sitting also all alone in his living room and tried to focus on a stupid TV show, while his thoughts were still far away by Lando, when his phone did ring. Quickly he gripped for it, hoping that it was maybe him. Carlos would lie if he would say he wasn’t disappointed to see the caller ID.</p><p>“Hey, Sash.” The Spaniard answered the call half-hearted. The second the young Argentine began to speak, he knew something was wrong. All hysterical and nervously, Sacha spoke with a trembling voice into his phone.</p><p>“Carlos, I don’t know what to do any more. I know Lando and you aren’t together any more, but.. Can you come over, please? Lando is crying since hours, he is all done with his nerves and says things, which doesn’t make any sense to me. I think he is close to a panic attack again and maybe also a mental breakdown. We were fighting and now he had locked himself into the bathroom and I’m scared he will hurt himself. Please. I beg you, Carlos, come over.”</p><p>Already after the first sentence, the Spaniard had sprung to his feet, put his shoes on but didn’t take on his coat in the hurry. He gripped for his car key and already made his way outside into the cold night, when he answered Sacha “I’m already on my way. I will be there in ten minutes. Talk to him, Sash.”</p><p>On the other end Carlos could hear him doing so. The Argentine told his room-mate about that Carlos will be here soon and he should come out of the bathroom again. “Keep on talking to him. You are doing great, Sash. I’m already in your street.”</p><p>Even when Lando had locked himself into the bathroom, he could still hear him yell behind the closed door through the phone. “No! Get away! He won’t come!” Carlos really hated the way the young Brit’s voice did sound and his heart began to beat faster and faster the closer he got to their flat.</p><p>The next free parking spot was way too far away for his liking, so he had to run the last few blocks and sprinted upstairs to their flat. Sacha was instantly at the door, when he pressed the bell and let him inside.</p><p>Carlos didn’t even take off his shoe, instead he made his way into the flat instantly, while Sacha brought him up to date “It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have yelled back at him. I’m sorry, but I just can’t handle this.” By his words, the Spaniard just had to look over his shoulder and eye his younger friend close.</p><p>Tears were already glistening in his so desperately looking eyes and his lower lip was shaking wildly. Carlos stopped to take him into his side for some moments to calm him down. “It’s okay, Sash. You have done great so far and it’s really not your fault at all. I’m still glad you called me. It’s my fault Lando is feeling this way, but we will get him out of there. I promise.”</p><p>Sacha give him a weak smile in response, before he sniffed his tears away and they both got over to the bathroom. Carlos checked the door first, of course it was still locked, before he knocked against the wood and said with a calm voice “Lando. It’s me. Please, come out. Let us talk. I promise, I won’t yell at you again.”</p><p>“No.” Lando did whine inside the room and Carlos really hated it to hear him like that and not being able to take him into his arms. “Please, Lando.” The Spaniard tried once more and almost he had called him <em>mi amor</em>, but then he remembered about that they weren’t together any more.</p><p>“Okay, if you don’t want to talk then it’s fine, but please come outside there. Sacha is already pretty worried about you and I’m also. If you want I can also go again, but please, open the door.” He went on, but nothing happened. No answer, no movements inside the room. Nothing.</p><p>Nervously Sacha looked up at Carlos, he was scared because right now it also seemed like the older one was powerless and couldn’t help their friend. “Lando, please. Come out. Carlos is here, he wants to see you.” Sacha tried his best, while he pulled his ear against the door to hear what he was doing inside.</p><p>“No. Carlos is not here. I have told him to leave me and he said he won’t ever come back again. He is not here.” They both could hear Lando whine and complain. He didn’t want to believe Carlos had come back for him, he thought he only imagined his voice.</p><p>“Sure, I’m here, mi amor.” Latest now, the Spaniard had totally forgotten about that Lando and he weren’t together any more. He was still his <em>mi amor</em> and will it be forever. “It’s really me and I’m sorry. Please, come out. Come to me and if you want we can forget everything.”</p><p>“No. Carlos isn’t here. He won’t come back. I have screwed everything. It’s all my fault. He doesn’t love me any more.” The voice of the young Brit was audible and it did sound weaker and more desperately with every word.</p><p>By now also Carlos was pretty scared, just like Sacha next to him, who couldn’t stop shaking any more. “I would never leave you, mi amor. I love you, I still do and I won’t ever stop. Please, open the door and convince yourself. It’s really me.”</p><p>“No. Carlos doesn’t love me any more. He hates me.” Lando’s voice did break by the end, they could hear his sobs and how hard he tried to breathe. But before Carlos could answer anything, their blood did freeze, when they could hear the sound of the mirror getting broken.</p><p>“Lando? No! Don’t do that! Don’t hurt yourself!” Carlos and Sacha both shouted at the same time, scared to their bones. No answer came and the Spaniard saw red, he had to get inside there. Right now.</p><p>“Lando, go away from the door! I will come inside now!” He warned, before seconds later he already pushed with his whole body weight against the door and cracked it opened. He was prepared for the worst, saw himself already on the floor, trying to stop Lando’s bleeding wound with a towel, while he had to watch him pass out.</p><p>The door give in pretty easily and with widened eyes, the Spaniard scanned the bathroom to find the Brit sitting in the corner, his legs tight against his chest, his arms wrapped around them and his head buried between his chest and legs.</p><p>The glasses of the mirror were lying next to his feet and because Carlos couldn’t see Lando’s wrists, he didn’t know how bad he was hurt. Quickly he hurried over to him, didn’t bother about the glasses, when he got on his knees and carefully touched his arms.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sorry for the cliffhanger..</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Lando.” Carlos whispered, tears were already glistening in his eyes, because he was so damn worried about him and also very scared. Slowly, almost in slow motion, Lando finally lifted his head and the second his eyes met the Spaniard’s once and he realized it was really him, Lando’s red, swollen eyes did light up behind his tears.</p><p>“Carlos. You are really here.” He stammered powerless, a weak smile was playing on his lips, like he had the best hallucination ever. “Of course, I am.” The older one whispered, while he carefully reached for his hands to finally see his wounds and how bad and serious the injures were.</p><p>But then it was Carlos’ turn, when he thought he had the best hallucination ever, when he took his boyfriend’s hands into his and carefully moved them, till his wrists were on the upside. He had already expected the worst, but what he found made him breathless.</p><p>Breathless of happiness and relieve, because the skin there looked like always. No wounds, no blood. All healthy. Just his soft skin.</p><p>“Oh, Lando. Of course, I’m here. Where else should I be?” Carlos whispered as relieved as never before in his life. He didn’t know if he should cry or smile. He did decide for both, at the same time. Thankfully he brought Lando’s hands up to his mouth and kissed long his wrists.</p><p>“Lando. What happened? Are you alright?” Their attention got to Sacha, who was standing all nervously and shaking behind Carlos and tried to get a look at what was going on. “He is alright, Sash. It’s over. I got him.” The Spaniard secured him to calm down his nerves, before he lifted Lando up into his arms.</p><p>Just then Carlos noticed the little shelf, which was usually standing next to the sink, laying on the ground as well. And then he got it. It was an accident, he knew that now. Lando had never planned to hurt himself with the shards.</p><p>He had probably felt dizzy after the many tears he had spent and all the emotions he had lived through in the last days, had stumbled and somehow he must have taken the little shelf with him and had broken so the mirror. </p><p>Now Carlos was completely relieved. Lando hadn’t planned to hurt himself, he was all safe and he finally had him back in his arms.</p><p>“Come here, mi amor. It’s good, everything is good.” Carlos whispered, while he carried Lando over the mirror shards into the living room. He let him all carefully down onto the couch, where Sacha did besiege his room-mate instantly.</p><p>He had to check it with his own eyes, if Lando was really alright and nowhere hurt. With shaking hands, Sacha reached for Lando’s, when he told him “Don’t ever scare me like that again. I was so afraid you would hurt yourself. Don’t. Ever. Do. This. Again. <em>Please</em>.”</p><p>Tears were rushing down his face and even when Lando was still kind of in a trance situation, he still got it how serious Sacha meant that and how frantic he was. “I would never hurt myself, Sash. I.. I’m..”</p><p>The young Argentine interrupted him, when he threw his arms around his neck and told him under tears “I don’t give a damn about why you have done that, you don’t need to tell me, but please, don’t ever do this again. I was so damn scared. I really thought I will lose you.”</p><p>The boys were clutching onto each other and cried tears of angst and relieve into the curve of their necks. Carlos watched the two friends for some moments, he looked down at them in awe, before he gave them some privacy and disappeared into the kitchen to make them both some hot chocolate.</p><p>When he came back with a cup in each of his hands, the two of them were still hugging each other close and Sacha petted lovingly his room-mate’s head. “Here, drink that. You will feel better after.” The Spaniard told them well-meant, while he gave them the hot chocolate and they hugged the warm cup instantly with their hands.</p><p>After Carlos had kicked off his shoes, he joined them on the couch, so Lando was cuddled up between them. Both boys were still crying quietly, tears were rushing down their cheeks like little rivers and some teardrops did even land in their hot chocolate.</p><p>After they had drank up everything, the liquid did warm them from inside, while the warm blanket Carlos had wrapped them into, did warm them from outside. The Spaniard pulled his boyfriend closer with his arms around his belly, so he leaned against his chest and cuddled himself against his warmth.</p><p>Also Sacha had wrapped his arms around Lando’s belly next to Carlos’ and exhausted he leaned his head against the young Brit’s chest, so he could hear his heart beating inside and knew so he was really alright.</p><p>After Lando had made himself comfortable against his boyfriend’s chest, he asked him all carefully “Will you stay tonight?” Carlos was never able to say no to these eyes, especially not now, after what had happened. “Don’t worry, mi amor. I won’t go anywhere tonight or any other night. I will stay, forever and always.”</p><p>Like that they were sitting a half, quiet eternity. The older one had his nose buried inside his boyfriend’s sweet curls, inhaled his unique scent deep inside his lungs and thanked God or whoever was listening for that Lando was good, that he hadn’t hurt himself, that everything became good in the end.</p><p>From time to time he could still hear the boys sniff their tears away or when they let out noises of comfort from the closeness they were sharing, but these sounds had become less in the last minutes and when Carlos dared to look down at Lando, he saw it that he had already fallen asleep.</p><p>Carefully the Spaniard began to move and Sacha’s head did snap up instantly. With sleepy eyes, he had probably also already dozed off, he was looking a little worried up at him. The older one gave him a soft smile, telling him so that everything was alright.</p><p>The young Argentine still didn’t get it, why Carlos had to move, when they had it so comfortable here, but then he saw Lando sleeping in his boyfriend’s arms and he smiled at his room-mate, while tears were already building up in his eyes again.</p><p>“I should better bring him to bed.” Carlos whispered, while he stroked some curls out of Lando’s now so peacefully looking face. Only when the Spaniard had already picked up Lando in his arms, he actually clinched to him like a little monkey, he got the way Sacha was looking at him.</p><p>It was a mixture of being helpless and anxiety. Carlos reached out with his right hand for the young Argentine and whispered softly “Come on, it’s time to go to bed. You should also sleep right next to him tonight.” Quickly and with a grateful smile on his lips, because Carlos had exactly got it what Sacha needed at the moment, he took his hand and together the three of them went to bed.</p><p>The Spaniard could understand Sacha. He didn’t want to be alone right now after everything and he was also still worried about his room-mate. They placed Lando into the middle, so he was again all cuddled up between them. The Brit hadn’t woken up during the process and also Sacha was already fast asleep again.</p><p>Before also Carlos closed his eyes for the night, he kissed his boyfriend’s forehead lovingly and whispered still close to his skin “I would have never forgiven myself, if anything had happened to you, mi amor. I love you so much and I promise I will take better care of you from now on. Something like that won’t happen again, you won’t ever feel this way again. I promise.”</p><p>Carlos didn’t sleep very well that night and he also couldn’t fall asleep again, even when it was way too early to start the day on a Sunday in the off-season. But still he got up, looked at Lando and Sacha still snuggling with each other for some moments, before he got into the kitchen to make himself some coffee.</p><p>He still couldn’t really process what had all happened yesterday, while he rubbed his eyes exhausted. First their big fight, then the break up, following his head had almost exploded while he thought about why this all happened and then Sacha’s call.</p><p>After his coffee, which made him fell at least a little better, Carlos actually just wanted to wash his face with some cold water, when he saw the broken bathroom door and the broken mirror shards all over the tiles.</p><p>The Spaniard exhaled long and loudly, because even when everything was good in the end, he still should have never let it go so far. He should have got inside the bathroom and take Lando out of there in the very first moment or even better he should have never fought and yelled at him. He couldn’t change the past any more, but he will make sure something like that won’t ever happen again. He promised himself so.</p><p>Thoroughly the Spaniard cleaned the bathroom from every glass and splinters and also repaired the door before he made some breakfast for the boys. With a big tablet full of delicious smelling exquisiteness, he finally entered the bedroom again and placed the tablet on the end of the bed.</p><p>Sacha was the first of the two of them, who woke up from the smell and smiled happily but also still sleepily at the tablet and then at Carlos. He smiled back at him, before he gave his whole attention to his boyfriend, who finally also began to slowly wake up.</p><p>First Lando seemed disoriented, he needed some moments to wake up fully and when Carlos’ and his eyes met, the older one smiled warmly down to him. “Good morning, mi amor.” The older one leaned down and kissed his from sleep still warm cheek.</p><p>Lando didn’t smile back, his lips were into a thin line, while he checked the inside of his cheek. Carlos helped him to sit up and let him lean against his upper body. When Sacha offered him the cup of warm milk, which was meant for him, Lando only shook his head and said with a small voice “I don’t deserve a breakfast.”</p><p>Sacha’s shoulders did sink and he looked all sad and worried up to Carlos, seeking for help by him, who finally took the cup from the young Argentine and said “Sure you do, mi amor. Drink first, the world will look different after. You will see.” And when he placed the cup between Lando’s hands, he finally took a few sips from it.</p><p>The Brit didn’t eat much, but Carlos was happy he did at least eat a few bites, even when Sacha had to feed him most of the time. When the plates and cups were empty, the Argentine stood up and announced to take care of the dishes, to give them some privacy.</p><p>In the second Sacha had closed the door behind himself, Carlos could feel Lando tense in his arms. Uncomfortable he tried to avoid his eyes and did sink further down into bed again. The Spaniard let him, crawled next to him under the duvets and did spoon him.</p><p>Like that they were laying, till Lando wasn’t so tensed any more. Carlos tried to get him comfortable with stroking his arms, holding him close, kissing his tremble or the sensitive spot behind his ear. He also nuzzled his neck and mouthed the skin there all carefully.</p><p>In the end, Carlos could tell Lando was finally enjoying the pleasure he was trying to give him. He began to relax in his arms, he had his eyes closed and noises of comfort did leave his lips in response.</p><p>Still the Spaniard was afraid, but he just had to ask him now. They couldn’t lie like that for the rest of their lives, even when he would have wanted to do so. “Do you want to tell me now what has happened yesterday, mi amor?” He whispered all calmly into his ear.</p><p>From behind, he could watch Lando biting down onto his lower lip and the way he tried to pull the duvet over his nose. “I’m sorry. I can’t” Lando whispered in response and Carlos could tell he also didn’t like the answer himself.</p><p>Desperately, but at the same time he had already expected something like that, the Spaniard exhaled long and closed his eyes for some moments. Till he had made his decision and finally said it out loud.</p><p>“Lando, mi amor. I love you, you know that, no matter what you will tell me and even if you won’t tell me anything at all. I will always love you, I will always keep your secret, no matter what. But, if you don’t want to tell me or if you can’t tell me now, we also can’t be together any more.” Lando’s whole body got stiff at that moment, before he quickly turned around to face his boyfriend and make sure he really meant that serious. He did.</p><p>Carlos saw the horror in his eyes and he instantly asked himself if the horror to lose his boyfriend was bigger or the horror to tell him his worries. But still, the Spaniard always hated to see him like that, so he quickly cupped his face with his hands, before he went on.</p><p>“You need to trust me fully. I’m your boyfriend and you really don’t have to be ashamed about anything in front of me. You can tell me anything, really anything. No matter how stupid you think it sounds, no matter how small you think your problem is. As long as it makes you sad, upset or bothers you, you should tell me. It will make things so much easier for you. But, I also don’t want to pressure you. If you don’t tell me, it’s also okay, but we can’t be together any more then.”</p><p>Carlos could exactly see the thick, clear tears forming in Lando’s eyes and also how bad his lower lips was shaking. He was aware of that he brought his boyfriend into a very uncomfortable situation right now and normally he would prevent him from such situations and take him in his arms instead, but not right now.</p><p>This time, the Spaniard even pulled away, while Lando still fought with himself. It were probably only seconds, but they did feel like a half eternity, till he had finally made his decision. Even when Carlos had already expected it, his heart did still fall inside his chest, when Lando shook his head and whispered under tears “I can’t. I’m sorry.”</p><p>The older one tried to give him an encouraging smile, even when it did hurt so much. “It’s okay, Lando. It’s okay. I will always be there for you, if you need me. I won’t ever stop loving you.” Their fairy tale didn’t seem to have a happy ending.</p><p>By now, the young Brit’s face was tear strained and quietly he sobbed, before Carlos pulled him closer to press a long, soft kiss onto his forehead. While doing so, also the older one spent two tears rolling down on each of his cheeks.</p><p>It did break his heart to see Lando’s face, when he slowly pulled the duvets away and crawled out of the bed. Like a wounded deer, the younger one was following his movements, unable to say anything. Carlos had reached the door, had even already taken the door buckle into his hand, ready to leave when Lando said so quickly he almost couldn’t understand it.</p><p>“There is this voice.” When the Spaniard turned around and faced Lando, he didn’t know if he had maybe just imagined his voice, because he was only looking up at him with big, glassy eyes. But still he asked with a frown “What voice, mi amor?”</p><p>Only after he had closed the distance between the two of them and had taken place on the edge of the bed, Lando’s voice was audible that way again, but this time Carlos could watch his lips moving, when he tried to explain “It.. It always tells me I’m not enough for you and that you will leave me one day, because you get it I’m not the one you wanted.”</p><p>Even when he had trouble with it, the older one kept quiet. He wanted Lando to finally say it out loud, everything. If their relationship still had a chance, he had to tell him just everything. He won’t ever be able to help him, if he won’t start to open up.</p><p>“Sometimes the voice is quieter and sometimes it’s louder. And in the last days it was screaming at me. The whole time long, without a pause. I couldn’t sleep properly, I couldn’t eat much because I always felt sick and I also always had to think about it. About that the voice was maybe right about everything. I was so afraid about that one day I will wake up and you will be gone. About that you don’t want me any more, because you don’t love me any more. That you just leave me and I.. I somehow wanted to prevent myself from that with.. You know, with starting that fight and tell you to leave, before it will be too late.”</p><p>Lando stopped here, before he looked up at Carlos with big eyes and finally whispered “Carlos, are we.. are we still.. together? Or do you don’t want me any more after last night? I mean, you must hate me now. I can understand it, but it was really the truth I have told you now. I.. I don’t want to lose you, I can’t. I love you so much and I will really tell you everything from now on. I promise. But please, stay by my side.”</p><p>“God, Lando. When will you ever believe me?” The older one did response all sincerely, but with a smile on his lips, before he moved closer and took him tightly into his arms. “Of course, we are still together. But only if you trust me fully now, because I need you to do that to go on. I won’t ever leave you alone and I also won’t ever stop loving you. You are the best thing that have ever happened to me and I really couldn’t be any happier or more blessed to have you in my life, mi amor. Why do you don’t want to believe me?”</p><p>The Brit did bite down onto his lip, before he shrugged his shoulders and he teared up bitterly. “I don’t know. I just don’t want to understand it that someone like you, someone so kind, sweet, intelligent and good-looking wants to be together with me. I always tell myself to don’t get into it, to not let myself get fall and give in this relationship, because one day it will be over and I already know right now that it will break me. I just can’t live without you any more, Carlos.”</p><p>The older one shook his head in disbelieve, he just didn’t want to believe it that his boyfriend was thinking so the whole time long and did suffer under it so much. “You know, mi amor. Sometimes I want to get inside your head and kill this voice. Do you really think I would be together with you, if I don’t love you to the moon and back? I’m not only okay with who you are, I’m even happy and fully satisfied with the way you are. That’s why I have fallen in love with you, because you are who you are. Stop thinking about that you aren’t enough for me Lando, because you are in every way. No matter what this stupid voice inside your cute head or someone else will ever tell you. I. Love. You. And you can believe in this relationship, you can let yourself get fall into my arms without worrying about it. I’m there for you to catch you. Always.”</p><p>“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m so stupid.” Lando cried into his boyfriend’s shirt, while Carlos held him close and petted calmly his head. “No, you are not, mi amor. You are just still very insecure and because this is all still so new for you it scares you and overwhelms you sometimes. But believe me, we will figure this out, together. You really aren’t stupid, Lando. Together we will beat this voice. You will see.”</p><p>Carlos let cry Lando out all his tears against his chest, till his shoulders weren’t shaking that much anymore and he tried to sniff his tears away. The younger one looked so fragile in his arms, when he looked up at him and Carlos just couldn’t hold himself back to place a kiss onto his nose.</p><p>“You don’t have to listen to such songs, mi amor. I’m your man.” The Spaniard whispered close against his skin, referring to the song from Bruno Mars he had listened to yesterday. Lando smiled weakly back at his boyfriend, before he threw his arms around his neck and pushed so both of them down onto the mattress.</p><p>Absently Carlos was sliding his fingers through Lando’s soft curls, while the younger one hold onto his shirt tightly and probably won’t let him ever go again. “Can we stay and cuddle in bed the whole day long?”</p><p>The older one smiled to himself, before he leaned over to kiss his tremble. “Sure we can, mi amor. But I think Sacha also deserves some more cuddles from you after yesterday.” Quickly Lando nodded his head, but at the same time he also snuggled closer against his warm body.</p><p>“I’m so sorry about everything. For fighting with you, yelling at you, tell you to leave me, to scare you and also Sacha that much, to cause so much trouble. I’m really sorry. But I promise, I won’t ever do that again. From now on I will come to you instantly, when that damn voice will get too loud. You know, I really want to be together with you, Carlos. You make me feel so loved and accepted. But I also want to make you feel the same, so you can enjoy it.”</p><p>“But I already do, mi amor. I enjoy every second when we are together. It’s perfect for me. Just don’t think too much about it and let it be my problem, why I want to be together with you and why I love you.” Carlos winked at him, when their eyes met and caused Lando so to smile up at him.</p><p>“You are amazing, Carlos. You know that?” It caused the older one to smile back at him, before he did response “And you don’t know how happy you make me with just being yourself. You are amazing as well, mi amor. Even when you don’t want to believe me. But I hope one day you will, because I will try to remember you about that every day from now on. Because you are worth it, you are worth it all and even more. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me, mi amor.”</p><p>Carlos promised himself to make it also to his life task to show Lando every moment from now on, that he was his. That he did belong to him and he didn’t have to be afraid about losing him. Because that won’t ever happen. And he already knew what next step he wanted to do.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So everything still turned out good in the end - because hell yeah, they are just meant for each other.</p><p>I'm curious about what you will think about Carlos' plans to make Lando finally realize that he was his man and only his :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys! </p><p>I'm really sorry it took me so long to update this story here - but it really seems like I will have some more time to write on my FF in the next time ;) we will see!</p><p>Till then, enjoy this cute, little chapter here &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>„You want to tell it to our families?” Lando repeated his boyfriend’s words all slowly in shock. Carlos nodded his head, a proud smile on his lips just thinking about telling them they were a couple, while he did response “Yeah, and I would also like to tell our trainers about us and the team, at least some members.”</p><p>The Spaniard could watch the way the younger one was thinking about it, how the frown on his forehead got deeper in deeper with every second, he eyed him biting down onto his lip and he could almost hear his brain working, forming every possible scenario he could imagine.</p><p>“We don’t have to do it right now. You can still think about it and finally do it, when we are both ready. But I think it will make things much easier for us, especially when the season will finally begin.” Carlos secured his boyfriend, but he kept it to himself, that he also hoped that with this it will take even the last doubts away from his boyfriend, about him leaving Lando.</p><p>Still unsure, the young Brit finally nodded agreeing his head and Carlos was already happy and proud enough about him for only thinking about it. Like Lando had asked before, they did spend most of their Sunday in bed cuddling. They both needed that after yesterday.</p><p>When Carlos got over to his place to pick up some clothes he will need for the meeting tomorrow, because he will stay over at Lando’s place for the night, he came back to Lando and Sacha all cuddled up on their living room couch.</p><p>On his tiptoes he disappeared into Lando’s room, because he couldn’t bring it over his heart to wake them up, while they were snuggling so close and hold onto each other that sweet way. Carlos did some work on his laptop, till the two still all sleepily boys found him and together the three of them cooked some decent Spaghetti.</p><p>Over the next few weeks, Carlos learnt more about Lando and how he had to read the signs right and also quicker, so something like their fight won’t happen again. He had already known before that when Lando’s acne came back, he wasn’t feeling well.</p><p>He never even had to tell him so, he could see it instantly. But now he could also add to his list that something did bother him, when his hair and lips were dry as well. Carlos had already noticed a few times the way Lando looked at him.</p><p>How he looked and even touched his smooth, clean skin in his face, the way he moved his fingers through his so healthy looking hair, because it did look just always good. No matter if it were in the mornings or after hours under the helmet.</p><p>Carlos could tell it was a mixture between jealousy and admiration Lando had in these moments for the things his boyfriend had, but he hadn’t. The Spaniard never said anything about it to him. He really didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable and he could also understand him. There was also a time when Carlos hated his own look-like and actually wanted to look more like his cousin.</p><p>Whenever Carlos noticed so, he took his boyfriend into his arms. Nothing more. He just wrapped his arms around his small body and held him close. On some days Lando did start to cry instantly. On other days, he just closed his eyes and enjoyed the closeness quietly.</p><p>If he wanted to talk about his worries, he did start on his own. If not, then Carlos won’t let him go for the rest of the day. He will try to make him laugh, show him how much he loved him, how much he was loved in general, cuddle with him till he will finally even fall asleep in his arms and if Lando should still be depressed in the end of the day, he did ask him about what bothered him and he always told him the truth then.</p><p>The Spaniard also made sure that his boyfriend did eat and drink enough, healthy and regularly, because for his liking Lando looked way too thin on some days. And whenever the younger one did spend too much time in front of his PC, when he had carried it too far once again, he remembered him to go outside, to spend some time in the nature and inhale fresh air. To have some quality time.</p><p>Carlos also finally got it that music did indeed help Lando sometimes. He had always liked to listen to music, no matter what he was doing and on some days it made him feel better, more secure. And on some days it helped him to cry, to let out his feelings and fears through his tears.</p><p>And overall, Lando had kept his promise. Whenever Carlos asked him about his feelings or why he looked upset, he always told him the reason, the truth. It made things so much easier, so much better.</p><p>They both knew now how they could handle with Lando’s depressions and anxiety. Carlos had finally got to know how to deal with it, what he had to do to take his boyfriend away from his demons and back from those dark places and Lando had finally understood that he could trust the older one completely and that he could indeed help him, if he let him.</p><p>Carlos was patient with him, he let him time and didn’t force him to anything. It was all Lando needed to feel safe and comfortable. He wasn’t ashamed about telling him about his worries any more, even when in Lando’s ears they did still sound very stupid sometimes.</p><p>But Carlos always listened to him, he always made him feel better and in the end Lando didn’t even know any more why he was so afraid about open up to him at the first place.</p><p>Sure, there were better and worse days. On some days the Spaniard could take his worries easily away with some kisses or singing and dancing around their flat and on some days Lando couldn’t stop crying anymore and he even got those panic attacks again sometimes. Then it needed much more effort from Carlos to calm him down and make him smile again. But he did that all with pleasure.</p><p>But still, Carlos was angry at the world, angry about that it caused Lando to be that scared and unsure sometimes. He was mad at the people and their expectations about sexuality and their stereotypes. About that if someone wasn’t exactly like them or just a little different, they weren’t normal in their eyes.</p><p>Lando was a very sensitive, young man and sometimes only the smallest things could make him question his whole life. Carlos had stopped to count the times, when his boyfriend had asked him under tears, why he was doing all this. Why he did love him?</p><p>And even when it was probably already the thousand time, Carlos still took Lando tight into his arms, kissed the top of his head and told him all patiently why he loved him with his whole heart and why he won’t ever leave his side. The Spaniard won’t ever get sick of telling him, why he wanted to be together with him. Carlos will tell him so every day, if it should be necessary. He will do everything for him.</p><p>One evening, when Carlos just got over to Lando’s and Sacha’s place and his boyfriend was currently cooking their dinner, he wrapped his arms around his middle and pressed a warm kiss onto his cheek from behind. Lando smiled to himself satisfied, pressed himself closer against his body and greeted him with a soft kiss onto his lips.</p><p>Carlos then rested his chin on top of the younger once shoulder and watched him all peacefully stirring the bubbling sauce in the pot, till Lando told him and the excitement in his voice wasn’t to be missed “I wasn’t feeling good today. My depression was playing games with me again and that voice told me again that I’m stupid to think that I deserve you.”</p><p>“What did you do then, mi amor?” Carlos whispered into his ear and wrapped his arms even tighter around him. Of course, they had already spoken about that. What Lando should do when Carlos won’t be close and he will start to get anxiety or even to panic.</p><p>“Do you remember about the message I have sent to you today?” Lando wanted to know from his boyfriend now, while a proud smile was playing on his lips. Of course, Carlos could still remember about it, it had actually lighted up his day.</p><p>“Sure, mi amor. You have written me that you love me so much.” Carlos whispered again into his ear, while he began to smile to himself as well and Lando could exactly feel him doing so. “Yeah, I have. And you have answered me within seconds that you love me back and can’t wait to see me again tonight. I felt better instantly, but I have also done something else.”</p><p>Lando struggled a little to get his phone out of his pocket and all expectant Carlos watched him and he really hadn’t expected the next. From Lando’s home screen their happy faces did shine at him. Till now, they both had found it too obvious and dangerous to take pics of them as their home screens.</p><p>Someone could accidentally see it, because till now only Sacha knew about them. But Carlos would lie if he would say he didn’t like to see that sweet pic of them on his boyfriend’s bright home screen.</p><p>“So now I only have to take my phone to feel better instantly and remember about that you love me.” Lando told him relieved, while he also smiled at the picture. They had taken it a few weeks ago, while they were cuddling in bed. Carlos was nuzzling Lando’s neck, the Spaniard’s eyes were closed, but his lips formed a warm smile, while the younger one shined all happily and proudly into the camera.</p><p>Finally, Carlos turned his boyfriend in his arms around, so he was able to take his face into his hands and look him deep into his eyes, when he told him “I’m so damn proud about you, mi amor. I really am. You make me so fucking proud every damn day.”</p><p>Lando beamed up at him, his eyes were shining bright, while he pressed his tongue against his teeth and giggled amused “Language, Carlos.” The older one also had to chuckle, before he pressed their lips softly together and still couldn’t believe it how much Lando had changed during the last weeks.</p><p>“I know, but I just can’t hold myself back any more, mi amor.” The Spaniard whispered, before he covered his boyfriend’s sweet face with plenty, quick kisses. He loved the sound of Lando’s giggles, while he was doing so. It did sound like music in his ears.</p><p>“Are the two of you burning the dinner, again?” Sacha’s voice was audible, while he leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed in front of his chest and shook his head in disbelief, while he watched the two of them. It wouldn’t have been the first time, because it had already happened more than just once that the two of them had burnt their dinner, because they had distracted themselves with kisses.</p><p>“No, we won’t. I promise.” Lando still giggled and tried to free himself from Carlos’ grip, who chased him instantly with his lips. Finally, but with a big pout, Carlos let go, after Lando and Sacha weren’t that happy with his suggestion to order some pizza, again.</p><p>Later that evening also Carlos changed the home screen of his phone with a sweet photo Sacha had taken from them, while they were doing the dishes. Carlos had blown some lather into his boyfriend’s face and they were both smiling over both of their ears, while the older one held Lando close in his arms.</p><p>They didn’t care any more, if someone could see the pictures. They had enough. It was their life and if some stupid home screens made them feel better, especially Lando, then it was more than just alright. They didn’t need to hide any more. It was their lives and no one else’s.</p><p>A few weeks later, their first Valentine’s Day as a couple came closer and closer. About Carlos suggestion, that the two of them could go for dinner at a nice restaurant and forget about their diet for some hours, Lando meant, that he would feel more comfortable and he would also probably enjoy it more, if they would stay at home that night.</p><p>And once again the Spaniard was so proud about his boyfriend. Lando wasn’t afraid any more to tell him what he wanted and what not. He simply said out loud so and wasn’t feeling uncomfortable or too shy for it any more. And Carlos could also understand it. Going out for dinner on Valentine’s Day was actually pretty obvious.</p><p>But even more the older one was surprised about his boyfriend’s suggestion, how they could spend their first Valentine’s Day together. Because Carlos was at the factory during the day, Lando wanted to cook dinner for the two of them, all on his own.</p><p>The Spaniard was excited about that and he already admired the younger once eagerness right now. Even if it shouldn’t be a perfect dinner, he would still love it, because Lando had tried so hard to make them a nice evening and it came from his heart.</p><p>With a big bunch of red roses, Carlos finally made himself on his way to his boyfriend’s place that evening. He had hurried, had taken a quick shower and had changed into some nice clothes, because he couldn’t wait to finally see him again. Carlos was early, why Lando was a little shocked to find him already now in front of his door. Or maybe he was shocked about the big bunch of roses between them.</p><p>With an in surprise opened mouth and widened eyes he was looking at the flowers for some moments, before his eyes wandered up to his boyfriend’s expectant face and wide grin. Carlos could watch the way Lando swallowed hard in an effort not to start crying.</p><p>“Buena noches, mi amor.” The Spaniard finally greeted him all satisfied, because his surprise was a success. “Carlos.” The younger one breathed out in shock. “I.. I don’t know what to say.” Alternately Lando looked at the roses and up to his boyfriend, like he couldn’t decide who was looking more beautiful.</p><p>“How about you let me inside first, so I can greet you properly. Like you deserve.” Carlos suggested with a smile, that was exactly what he had wanted to get with those flowers. A shocked and touched Lando.</p><p>“Sure.” The younger one did response with blushed cheeks, feeling stupid for letting him standing there for so long. After the front door was closed behind them, Carlos stretched out his arm, so the big bunch wasn’t between them any more and he could finally greet his boyfriend with framing his cute face with his free hand, pulling him closer and cover his warm lips with his.</p><p>“Happy Valentine’s Day, mi amor. Te quiero mucho.” Carlos whispered against his now lightly wet lips after their kiss. And then there came the roses back to play, when the Spaniard finally handed the bunch over into his boyfriend’s surprised hands.</p><p>“Are they all for me?” Lando wanted to know all shocked, while he eyed the roses from near. Carlos smiled to himself, while he watched the younger one, but he also had to bite down onto his tongue to not say out loud <em>‘No. Half are for you, half are for Sash.’</em></p><p>“Of course, mi amor. Because you are so brave every day and you make me so damn proud with it. I’m more than just proud to call you mine.” Now Lando couldn’t suppress the single tear running down his face any more, before he leaned closer to smell at the roses and almost disappeared completely behind the big bunch.</p><p>“Thank you so much, Carlos. They are so beautiful. But.. I don’t have anything for you. I have completely forgotten about to get you something. I was the whole day long in the kitchen today. I’m sorry.” Lando told him sincerely, while he looked up at him from behind the roses.</p><p>“Don’t worry, mi amor. You already give me little gifts every day with just being you and my boyfriend and besides you have cooked for us tonight. And to judge from the flour all over your cute face, you have really given everything.”</p><p>Shocked Lando moved his fingertips absently over his cheek and nose to check if there was really some flour. He almost began to sway, because he was holding that big bunch in only one hand any more now. Carlos quickly steadied him with his hands on top of his upper arms, before he leaned down, kissed his from flour covered and blushed cheeks and whispered “Don’t worry, mi amor. It looks hella cute.”</p><p>Now also Lando had to smile, before he got up on his tiptoes to reach his boyfriend’s lips to thank him for his words and one more time for the many roses. While they made their way further into the flat, Lando told his boyfriend over his shoulder, while he carried the bunch all proudly in his hands</p><p>“We will have some burgers for dinner. I really hope you will like them. I have even made the burger buns by myself.” Carlos was pretty surprised about that information. About that his boyfriend will try his very best, he was already aware about before, but that he even made the burger buns all by himself, really surprised him now. And once again he couldn’t tell with words how damn proud he was about him.</p><p>“You really have, mi amor?” Carlos had to ask one more time in surprise, but latest when they entered the kitchen and he saw the whole mess, he knew it was true. Lando got his expression by the view, his cheeks turned red instantly, before he told him</p><p>“Yeah, like you can see.” When their eyes met, both had to laugh out loud and after they had calmed down again, Carlos promised “Don’t worry, mi amor. I will help you to clean up later. I won’t let you do that all by yourself. You already did so much to make us a nice evening tonight.”</p><p>After Carlos had stretched himself to get the vase on the top shelf Lando couldn’t reach by himself, the younger one filled with some water following, placed the roses into it and admired them for some more, he explained to his boyfriend</p><p>“I have actually wanted to call my mum to help me or maybe even ask her to come over. Because first I hadn’t known how to knead the dough properly, only after I have watched a YouTube video I knew what to do. I have needed almost over two hours to get the burger buns.”</p><p>Lando laughed about his own story, while he still shook his head in disbelief about his own unknown. “I’m almost finished. Just give me five minutes, so I can change into something more decent, so I can keep up with you.” When the younger one wanted to give his boyfriend actually only a quick kiss before he will disappear, Carlos easily wrapped his arms around his belly and held him close, so he couldn’t flee any more.</p><p>He tangled them into a chain of sweet, long kisses, so that Lando almost forgot what he had wanted to do in the end, till Carlos whispered with his lips still so close to his “I don’t care what you look like or how much flour you have on your cute face, mi amor. You are always looking incredible stunning to me.”</p><p>A little embarrassed and also touched about his words, Lando bit down onto his lips, but he still finally turned around to run into his room to quickly change. With fresh clothes, a washed face, obviously brushed curls and he had even used some perfume, the young Brit came running back into the kitchen minutes later, where they finished the burgers.</p><p>While Lando was gone, Carlos had inspected the nice decorated laid table. His boyfriend had really given everything to make a perfect Valentine’s evening. He had even placed some candles on the dining table, had folded napkins, he had probably watched how to do so on YouTube as well and even some white and yellow rose petals were scattered.</p><p>Carlos’ red roses Lando had placed on the dresser next to the table, so he could still see them, because the bunch, would have been too big for the dining table and in the end they wouldn’t have even seen each other over it any more.</p><p>All proudly, Lando finally served the burgers and if Carlos was serious they looked amazing and also the smell was very welcoming. “I hope it tastes good.” The younger one said more to himself than to his boyfriend, when he took place on the chair opposite him.</p><p>“If it only tastes half as good as it smells and looks, it’s already amazing, mi amor.” Carlos told him sincerely, while he reached for his hand over the table. He squeezed his fingers softly and smiled grateful at him. “Thank you for this, mi amor. You are perfect.”</p><p>With blushed cheeks, Lando smiled and watched their hands still holding onto each other. “Don’t rush, you haven’t tried it yet.” They shared one more smile, Carlos even winked over the table at him, before they finally began to eat.</p><p>He really didn’t like to admit it, he never liked to do that, but Carlos was wrong. Lando’s self-made burger and fries did taste even better than they looked and smelled. “Damn, mi amor. That’s the best burger I have ever tried. So delicious.”</p><p>The Spaniard loved to see it whenever his boyfriend’s cheeks blushed every time he complimented him, even after such a long time. It was simply the cutest thing ever. In the end both fell backwards into their chairs, their bellies full of the delicious food, they talked for some more, before they finally stood up and took care of the dishes.</p><p>Together it was done quickly and their bellies could also finally take some dessert. With a package of ice cream and only one spoon armed, the two of them went over into the living room to make themselves comfortable on the couch.</p><p>It was actually Carlos’ intention to only take one spoon, so they had to share and feed each other. With the ice cream on his lap and Lando leaning against his side, Carlos alternately feet one spoon of the delicious dessert his boyfriend and the next he stuffed into his own mouth.</p><p>“Where is Sacha tonight?” Carlos finally wanted to know, before he brought the spoon full of ice cream closer to his own mouth. “I don’t exactly know. He just said he didn’t want to bother us and he also better didn’t want to be at home tonight.” Lando got quiet then and the Spaniard exactly knew why.</p><p>It was Valentine’s Day. Sacha expected them to have sex tonight, like so many other couples were probably doing on this day. Carlos could hear and also see Lando thinking about it. He could almost hear his thoughts about it running through his head, so Carlos quickly shovel a big amount of ice cream onto the spoon and brought it to his boyfriend’s mouth.</p><p>While Lando still dealt with it, the Spaniard placed a sweet kiss on top of his from vanilla tasting lips to distract him. It had worked, because after the long kiss, Lando’s expression wasn’t concerned any more, he had already forgotten about that thought again. Instead, he already beamed up at his boyfriend again.</p><p>When the package was empty and their bellies for the second time that evening all full, they cuddled right where they were. Paying attention to not touch the other once belly, because of the risk of explosion.</p><p>“Carlos?” Lando finally asked into the silence. After his boyfriend had hummed in response, the younger one finally asked all carefully “Haven’t you imagined the Valentine’s Day differently? I mean, don’t normal couples have sex on this day? I think that’s also what Sash expects us to do tonight. That’s why he probably isn’t here.”</p><p>“But Lando, we are a normal couple. Like everyone else.” Carlos explained him, while he tried to catch his eyes. “Really?” Lando looked up at him like a puppy. “Really, mi amor. And yes, Sash probably expects it, but that really doesn’t mean we have to do it. Not because someone expects it or a day tells us to have sex, because other couples do have today. We do what we want, mi amor. We don’t owe anything to anyone. We just do what we like.”</p><p>Understanding, Lando nodded his head and his body didn’t feel that tensed in Carlos’ arms any more from one second to the other. And to finally calm him down completely, the Spaniard also secured him “And I have imagined my Valentine’s Day exactly like that, mi amor. Next to you. I don’t need anything else to be happy. I only need you.”</p><p>Now Lando was finally smiling again, while he beamed up at his boyfriend. “I love you so much, Carlos.” He whispered, to which the Spaniard could only respond “I love you more.” A small fight built up between them, who loved whom the most. Lando finally made it clear that he was the winner of their fight, when he easily climbed on top of his boyfriend’s lap and kissed him speechless.</p><p>First it were only sweet kisses, which quickly turned into hot, open-mouthed once and finally also their tongues came into play and danced together. Like Carlos also Lando finally couldn’t stop his body to get a hard one. It felt good, especially for the older one, when his boyfriend moved on top of his lap, but he kept himself together.</p><p>Carlos gave his very best not to moan into his mouth, press his own hips upwards or touch Lando somewhere he wasn’t allowed to. He was satisfied with the way it was right now, he enjoyed every second of it.</p><p>“I like it, when you just take yourself what you want, mi amor. You don’t have to ask for anything, it’s all yours.” Carlos whispered breathless, while Lando’s cheeks began to blush once again, but still he smiled, proud about himself, down at him.</p><p>They did spend the rest of the evening like that. Their lips were already all swollen and red from their plenty kisses and if Carlos wouldn’t pull away for a quick pause now and then, he was sure he would have already come inside his pants.</p><p>Once again all breathless, Lando leaned his forehead against his boyfriend’s, while they looked deep inside each other’s eyes and tried to catch their breaths during the process.</p><p>“Actually I have a surprise for you.” Lando announced, while he bit down all excited onto his lip. “But you have already surprised me with your cooking skills tonight, mi amor.” Carlos answered, before he tickled lightly his boyfriend’s rips.</p><p>“I know, but that’s actually kind of surprise for both of us.” Lando told him still giggling and the older one got the feeling for one quick second, that his boyfriend did feel himself indeed obliged to something tonight.</p><p>Carlos just wanted to open his mouth and tell him, that this really wasn’t the case and he should stop thinking about it, when in the last second something in Lando’s expression stopped him to say it out loud. He looked so positive excited, even happy, it had to be something else.</p><p>“You know, when I had this problem with the dough today and I actually almost wanted to call my mum, I got it that I actually can’t do it, because she doesn’t know about us. But if I’m serious, I want her to know about us. I want dad to know about us, my brother, my sisters. I want to tell them about you, how nice you are to me all the time. I want to spent time with you and my family together. I think I’m ready now. I want to tell our families about us.”</p><p>Wow, that was indeed a surprise for Carlos. But a very good surprise, even great. “You sure, mi amor?” The older one still asked one more time, even when he could already read the answer in his sparkling eyes. “Yes, I want to see them how much I love you and how much love you give me back.”</p><p>“Oh, mi amor. That’s the best Valentine’s surprise ever.” Carlos told him sincerely and all proud about his decision. Lando smiled back at him, before he brought their lips together once more, but not for the last time that night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here is finally the next chapter!</p><p>If I'm serious, nothing big happens in this one. It's actually kinda sweet through, but in the next chapter there will definitely happen something ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I don’t know if that was really such a good idea.” Lando admitted, after he was already quiet, since they had woken up this morning. Too quiet for his usual behaviour.</p><p>Carlos got that pretty quickly and he could also understand it fully. Hell, when he only thought back at the day he had told his family about his sexuality, he still got goose bumps and a cold shiver ran down his back.</p><p>They were on their way to the Norris’ farm, about one hour away from London. Their plan was to spend the whole weekend there, before they had to fly to Spain on Monday midday to do their yearly testing in the new McLaren.</p><p>Lando was driving them to his parent’s place, while he constantly bite down onto his lip, so the soft flesh was already all red and opened there. He was nervous, of course he was. The young Brit could only think about it any more since days. God, he was so afraid about their reaction.</p><p>Lovingly Carlos reached out for Lando’s hand, which was holding the gear lever so tight that his knuckles had already turned white. Gently he stroked over the back of his hand in an effort to soften his grip and calm down his nerves a little.</p><p>“I know you are, mi amor. Right now you think it’s not a good idea, but believe me, you will feel so much better, so much lighter when you have finally told them. And I’m pretty sure you don’t have to worry about anything. You will have their backs, mi amor. You will see. Everything will turn out good.”</p><p>“I really hope you are right. I hate this so much.” Lando told his boyfriend desperately, while he tried to focus on driving. Even when best, he would have liked to drive in the exact opposite direction. “I know, mi amor. I know. But already right now I’m damn proud about you. And you don’t have to do it alone. I’m with you the whole time long. We do this together.”</p><p>Of course, they had talked about it before. While Carlos had preferred it to tell it his family on his own back then, also because he hadn’t had a boyfriend at that time and even if, he had wanted it to tell them all on his own, Lando had asked the Spaniard, if they could do it together.</p><p>Lando admitted that he would feel braver and also safer, when he would be right next to him. Of course, Carlos had agreed to it. He would have done everything to make this all here easier for his boyfriend.</p><p>“Thank you, Carlos. I still hope it’s the right decision, because right now it just doesn’t feel like one.” Lando whispered, after he had taken a deep breath and the older one was squeezing his hand lightly in response.</p><p>He didn’t let go from the younger once hand for the rest of the drive, till Lando straightened himself in his seat, clutched the steering wheel with both hands now and told him with a small voice “We are almost there.”</p><p>They followed the empty street up to a little hill. And the long driveway did finally lead them to their big farm house. After Lando had stopped the car, he kept on sitting like that, holding the steering wheel all tight for some seconds, before he breathed out loudly.</p><p>“Here we are.” Carlos finally said, while he rubbed his boyfriend’s lightly sweated back. “Yeah, here we are.” Lando repeated almost like he was in trance, while he stared at one random point on front of the car.</p><p>He hadn’t told his parents that Carlos will come with him, he had only told them he will bring a guest. The only good thing right now was that his parents weren’t at home, because they picked up his brother from the airport. So Lando had at least some more hours to live, before it will get serious. Or some more hours of torment, it depended on how he saw it.</p><p>“It looks really nice.” Carlos announced, while he looked around himself after they had both got out of the car. “Thanks, but it’s only a small part of it. The horse stables are behind the house and the grazing go back to the trees over there.” Lando pointed to the little green points on the horizon, which probably had to be the trees he was talking about.</p><p>“Wow, pretty impressive.” The older one said a little shocked about the size of the whole farm. “Yeah. But believe me, if you are looking for someone here you look for the whole day long. My mother can tell you whole stories about that. She has often looked for my brother and me for hours, when we were younger. We were always hiding from her, when we had done some mischief.”</p><p>With their bags over their shoulders they did finally enter the old, but very well intact building. “I’m thirsty. Do you also want to drink something?” Lando asked, after he had thrown his bag next to the stairs. Carlos imitated him, before he followed the younger one and agreed to some ice tea.</p><p>While they enjoyed their cold drink, the Spaniard looked around himself with big, curious eyes again. He liked this kind of old English buildings. It was so different to his parent’s place in Spain, but he still really liked the style. His eyes finally fell on the smaller, but still pretty big building next to the house.</p><p>Lando must have followed his eyes, when he answered his unspoken question “These are the horse stables. If you want we could start our tour there. My sisters probably have to be somewhere there. They are always by the horses, they don’t have anything else mind.”</p><p>“Just like little Lando always had his cars in his mind, when he was younger.” Carlos teased with a wink and best he wanted to pull him into his side, when he saw him rolling his eyes and showing him his pink tongue, but the older one knew that he had to hold himself back, while they were here and someone could catch them. Especially before they will talk to Lando’s family about the real reason of their visit.</p><p>“At least I haven’t dreamed about becoming the next Alonso.” Lando teased back and he shoved his shoulder against Carlos’, when he did pass him. Latest then the older one would have captured him in his arms and would have tickled him, till he would be crying, but of course he didn’t do that and Lando knew about it, why he will probably tease him even more than usual this weekend, because he knew he was safe from his attacks.</p><p>Instead of tickling him, Carlos followed his boyfriend well-behaved over to the stables. There he gave him a little tour, told him every horse’s name and to whom it did belong. “Don’t you have your own horse?” The older one finally asked, when they had stopped by the last stable and watched the Haflinger inside it.</p><p>“Nah. I have never wanted one, because I have also never wanted to learn riding. I like them, I really do. They are some good listeners from time to time, but the horse riding belongs to the women in our family. While the men are riding the real fast things.” Lando told him with a big grin, while he did feed the horse some carrots.</p><p>Carlos chuckled, while he stroked the horse between its ears. “Yeah, sure. But I bet if you would have a horse on your own, it must be one that will also fit to you. Like a Shetland pony or something like that.” The Spaniard said all teasingly again, while he watched his boyfriend’s reaction from the corner of his eyes.</p><p>"And yours would have been a donkey, you dork.” Lando teased back, while he waved around with the carrot in his hand in front of Carlos’ nose. He tried to catch it with his teeth like a horse, but failed of course, because Lando was faster.</p><p>It was probably the first time today, the younger one was giggling with his whole heart today, while he forgot about his problem for at least some moments. And Carlos had also forgotten about where they were and why they were here, when he had just wanted to wrap his arms around the younger one and kiss his soft cheek, and the reality suddenly gave them a slip into their faces.</p><p>“Lando?” A young girl dressed in riding clothes and riding shoes was standing next to them and looked at them all sceptical from the top to the bottom. “Cis.” Lando said, while he tried to sound more excited to finally see his little sister again, than being shocked about getting almost caught.</p><p>After he had hurried over to the girl to give her a hug and ask her if she was alright, Lando introduced them together. “Carlos, that’s my little, not so annoying than my other, sister. Cis, that’s my surprise guest.” She kept on eyeing the two of them a little confused, but Carlos still thought she seemed like a very sweet, young girl.</p><p>“Nice to finally meet you again, Cisca.” The Spaniard told her, before they shook hands and the girl’s cheeks blushed a little. Carlos had already met Lando’s whole family once at his home race. About the fact that he could still remember about that and also about her full name, the young girl seemed surprised and also a little embarrassed.</p><p>“Where is Flo?” Lando finally wanted to know, after they had talked for a bit, but before his sister could even answer, he went on. “I bet she tries to teach Bailey again, right? When will she ever get it that this hack is unteachable?” The three of them finally went outside the stables and up some grassland, till they reached a paddock, where a young woman was obviously trying to teach a horse to jump over some low balks.</p><p>The whole time long Carlos could feel Cisca’s eyes on him. She was eyeing him very closely and every time their eyes caught and he smiled at her, she quickly looked away and pretended like she hadn’t watched him at all.</p><p>“You won’t ever give up to teach him, huh?” Lando shouted into his sister’s direction, when they were close enough. She waved at the three of them, before she finished her round and rode over to where they were standing next to the fence.</p><p>“Someone has to be the stubborn in the family, when you aren’t here.” Flo teased her older brother, before she wrapped her arm over Lando’s shoulder and pulled him into her side as good as possible with the fence between them. “Gross, you smell like a horse.”</p><p>“Still better than you have ever smelled.” Flo snapped back, before she got over to Carlos and said “And you have to be the surprise guest, I guess. Nice to see you again, Carlos. What bet have you lost to come with Lando to our place? Maybe one of you needs to get some riding lessons?”</p><p>Her eyes widened already in excitement, while Cisca wrinkled her nose just thinking about to see one of the two of them on a horse. The Spaniard laughed, before he told her sincerely “I have to disappoint you, nothing will ever bring me on one of these. But if I’m serious, I would really like to see how Lando is doing on a horse’s back.”</p><p>The young girl snorted next to them, while Flo waved her hand and said “Believe me, you really don’t want to see that. It’s second hand embarrassment but also way too funny. There does even exist a picture from little Lando clutching on Henry with both of his arms and legs.”</p><p>The girl ruffed through her brother’s hair, earning an annoyed and angry expression from him in response. “That’s not true.” Lando muttered, still hating his sister for embarrassing him in front of Carlos. “Sure it is and you know that. You were screaming like a little girl, when he has begun to move.”</p><p>“Actually he was only scratching his belly with his hooves, he hasn’t even started to move at all.” Cisca threw into the conversation to tease her older brother as well. Lando rolled his eyes in response and just wanted to catch his little sister, when she easily slipped away from her brother and showed him her tongue.</p><p>“If there does really exist such a picture, I would pay to see it.” Carlos said with a big grin on his lips, earning an even angrier look from Lando in response and a chuckle from Cisca. “Oh, don’t worry. I will look for that picture later, even when it will take me the whole night long. It’s way too hilarious.”</p><p>Flo announced, while she climbed over the fence. “I haven’t even seen you for ten minutes and I already know again why I have moved out.” Lando told his sister, before she ruffed his hair once more and said “No, you have actually missed us a lot. Am I right, Land? I hope Carlos takes our place to tease you as much and often as he can, when we can’t do it. Come on, Cisc. We still have to make the stables.”</p><p>With that the two girls left them alone again and Lando muttered, when they were too far away to hear him “I hate them.” Carlos giggled next to him, before he answered “I know what you mean. But at least they are both younger than you. Blanca always plays the I’m-the-oldest card, it was so damn annoying when we were younger.”</p><p>Lando smiled up at his boyfriend, when he remembered that Carlos had two of these specimens himself. Following the young Brit showed his boyfriend the rest of their estate or at least the closest and most important things like where his old cards, dirt bikes and quads were.</p><p>Finally they got back to the house, where the younger once guide did continue. In the end there was only one room left. Lando’s room. About this room Carlos was excited about the most. And he didn’t get disappointed, it was exactly like he had imagined it. It was a mess, it was a Lando mess.</p><p>Nothing seemed to have its own place, totally untidy, but the Spaniard did bet that his boyfriend would find everything easily and pretty quickly, if he had to. On one of his walls was pointed, of course, a big, bright yellow Rossi sun. Over the whole room distributed were his helmets and trophies from carting, Formula 3, 2 and so much more.</p><p>While Lando did already unpack his stuff, Carlos still looked around the room, because there was just too much to look at. Finally he couldn’t hold himself back any more and began to laugh out loud. “What’s so funny?” The younger one finally wanted to know, while he eyed his boyfriend suspicious.</p><p>“Nothing. But you just can’t deny this room here isn’t yours.” Carlos told him, while he still chuckled and couldn’t stop to look at every detail around himself. They both kept on laughing and teasing each other, when they could suddenly hear Lando’s brother a few rooms away from them, asking loudly “Is this Carlos?”</p><p>Lando’s mother answered him from downstairs “Have you said something, sweetheart?” Oliver must have gone outside onto the corridor, leaned over the stair railings and asked once more “Was that Carlos, who has just laughed?”</p><p>“What? Carlos. Carlos, who?” Lando’s mother asked confused, while Lando and Carlos made themselves some fun out of it, stayed all quiet and hidden in their room. “Carlos Sainz, of course.”</p><p>“I think I would know if Carlos Sainz would be in my house, sweetheart.” They could hear the woman from downstairs again and latest now both couldn’t hold themselves back any more and burst out laughing again.</p><p>Their giggles got the attention of Oliver and after he had followed the noise, he stood seconds later in the middle of their room. “I knew it was you, Carlos. So you are the surprise guest, huh?” The young man said relieved about that he hadn’t become crazy and hadn’t Carlos mistaken with one of their horses.</p><p>“Yeah, seems like you were all pretty excited about the surprise guest.” The Spaniard answered, before they shook hands and talked a bit. Carlos and Lando’s older brother already knew each other a little better. Oliver had installed a sim race at his place in London, they had also seen each other already a few times at Lando’s place.</p><p>Suddenly also Lando’s mother stood in the door frame and was pretty surprised to see really Carlos next to her sons. Like always she greeted the Spaniard all warmly and from the bottom of her heart. She took him tight into her arms and didn’t let go for the next seconds. The woman also placed a kiss on Carlos’ cheeks, about which Lando was warning her to stop doing that to his friends. But like Sacha also the older one was already used to it, also because it was normal in Spain to greet each other like that.</p><p>Following Lando’s mother told Carlos all excited about how happy she was to finally see him again and that he was Lando’s surprise guest. Finally, when she spotted Carlos’ bag next to their feet, it was her time to admonish her son with “But Lando, you really don’t want to force Carlos to sleep next to you on the floor, like Sacha has always done. I have already prepared the guest room.</p><p>Lando’s cheeks did blush lightly then. They both hadn’t thought about it, when they had gone into his room. For them it was already more than just normal to share one bed, but of course Lando’s family nether know about that nor that they were a couple. So the young Brit finally muttered something about that he knew that himself and he had just wanted to show his team-mate his room first.</p><p>The woman rolled her eyes, before she also took her youngest son into her arms and kissed his cheek as well. “Dinner will be ready soon, so the two of you better don’t go too far away any more.” With that Lando’s mother and also his older brother left them alone and Carlos could exactly see the tension leaving his boyfriend’s body again, after they had almost got caught.</p><p>“Don’t worry, mi amor. I think they haven’t noticed anything.” Carlos tried to calm him down, while he reached for his bag. Lando shrugged his shoulders, before he meant “Even if. It doesn’t really matter any more, if they will get to know about it now or in a few hours. Come on, I will show you your room.”</p><p>The younger one did lead them a few rooms away from his, where they did find the already from his mother prepared bed in the guest room. Carlos placed his bag on top of the bed, he was okay with spending the next nights here, but Lando didn’t seem to be okay with it.</p><p>“Hey, mi amor. I’m just a few rooms away from you. But I really don’t want to upset your parents, if they don’t want me to stay with you together in one bed under their roof. It’s just for two nights, we will be okay.” Carlos tried to calm him down, before he quickly closed the door to finally take his boyfriend into his arms and hold him close like he did need it so urgently right now.</p><p>“I still can’t believe I’m really going to do this.” Lando whispered into the Spaniard’s shirt, while the older one cradled him carefully in his arms. Like the young Brit, also Carlos closed his eyes for some precious seconds to take in their closeness and this moment, before he kissed the top of his head and whispered back “But you are not alone, mi amor. We will do this together.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm curious - to whom was the scene about Lando's mother and brother talking to each other by the stairs familiar? </p><p>Exactly, it was from the sixth Harry Potter movie ;) I just thought it was too funny and would fit into this scene as well :D ha!</p><p>(Where are the Potter heads under my readers???) /*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Now it will get serious :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carlos and Lando had already talked about the way they wanted to tell the young Brit’s family about his sexuality and their relationship so often before. In the end they had decided that there just didn’t exist a plan for something like that. Didn’t matter how long and often they talked about it, didn’t matter what plans they were making, it will happen different in the end anyway.</p><p>But there were still two things they had planned. Lando wanted to tell it to his family on his own and he will only do so after dinner, because they didn’t want to spoil their appetite.</p><p>Till dinner was ready, the couple stayed in his old childhood room. Words weren’t necessary, Carlos just held him close, while Lando fought with himself. The Spaniard exactly knew how he was feeling right now, what thoughts were running through his head, what fears he had.</p><p>From time to time the older one whispered encouraging words into his ear, but they both just wanted to finally get through it and for these uncomfortable feelings and those scary thoughts to go away.</p><p>Lando flinched together in his boyfriend’s arms, when they heard his mother calling them for dinner. With big, desperately and also horrified eyes, the younger one was looking up at Carlos, maybe wishing right now, that they had never planned something like that. But deep inside himself, the young Brit knew it was the right way.</p><p>And so did the Spaniard, when he petted his boyfriend’s head and kissed his forehead after he had whispered “Everything will be good, mi amor. You will see. I know you can do this, you are ready for it.” Lando could only nod to that, even when he didn’t seem that ready and convinced himself.</p><p>Worthless they went downstairs, where Carlos also finally met Lando’s father again. In contrast to the younger one, the Spaniard acted like always, he didn’t show anything, while he talked to his father. Lando himself was all quiet and very thoughtful, the total contrary to his usual self. Sometimes he really wished to be more like his boyfriend, more professional and more matured.</p><p>Flo and Cisca helped his mother in the kitchen, while Carlos, Oliver and his dad talked about something Lando didn’t follow. He only pretended like he was interested in their conversation, but the thoughts inside his head were screaming at him and he slowly but sure began to feel ill.</p><p>Even when his mother had cooked his favourite food for him, Lando still wasn’t able to get one bite down his throat. He only poked his food and shoved it from one side of the plate to the other, while everyone else was eating properly or were even already finished.</p><p>“What’s wrong with you tonight, sweetheart? Aren’t you hungry? Don’t you like the chicken?” His mother finally asked her younger son over the table, after she had watched him already for some minutes.</p><p>“No. I mean, I bet it tastes all good, but..” While Lando fought for words, he looked over at Carlos, who offered him a lovingly, encouraging smile in response and so he knew the moment had come. Now it was time to tell them all the real reason about his visit and why he had brought Carlos with him.</p><p>The young Brit finally pulled the unused fork away, brought his shaking hands on top of his lap, inhaled for one more time deep inside his lungs and tried to avoid his family’s gazes, when he said with a small, unsure voice “I.. I have to tell you all something.”</p><p>With that he got his whole family’s attention, when everyone looked already a little concerned over at him. It was quiet, everyone listened and had to watch how Lando slowly began to panic. “I.. It’s.. I mean..” The young Brit sighted, his face all pale even when his forehead was lightly covered with sweat.</p><p>With big, horrified eyes he looked seeking for help over at his boyfriend, when he had to admit all desperately and with a shaking, thin voice “I can’t do this.” Tears of angst and shame were already glistening in his so scared eyes and Lando was really feeling ill by now, when Carlos reached out to take his ice-cold hand under the table and squeezed it softly to give him some support.</p><p>But before his boyfriend could tell him that he believed in him and that he knew he could do it, Lando’s mother stood up from where she was sitting to get over to her frightened son. She leaned down to him, while she framed his so tormented looking face between her hands and tried to calm him down with stroking his cheeks all slowly with her thumbs.</p><p>“Lando, sweetheart. Please, tell us. What’s wrong?” His mother whispered softly, also with a small smile on her lips to give him some strength. Everyone on the table was latest now all worried about the young Brit. Everyone could tell that something big did bother, even scary Lando and almost even more he was horrified to tell them about it.</p><p>Everyone, except his youngest sister. Cisca looked from one to the next, like she asked herself why they were all so concerned about him. Because Lando still hadn’t answered his mother, he had only held onto his boyfriend’s hand under the table even stronger, she finally went on, even when also her voice did sound very worried by now.</p><p>“What do you have on your heart? Has something happened in the team? Aren’t you feeling good? Or maybe..” But before his mother could continue or Lando even tell them all the truth, his youngest sister did it for him, when she said like it was the most obvious thing ever “God. Are you guys really that blind? Lando wants to tell us that Carlos and he are a couple.”</p><p>The world seemed frozen then. Everyone was quiet and tried to process what they had just heard, including Lando and also Carlos. They were all shocked and looked with an opened mouth at the youngest Norris.</p><p>It was finally Lando’s mother, who was first able to speak again, when she said all shocked “Cisca. I hope you know what you are talking about. That’s something very serious you are saying out loud so easily.” But Lando’s youngest sister only rolled her eyes, because the rest of her family really seemed to be that blind.</p><p>“Do you all really want to tell me you haven’t noticed it till now?” Cisca looked from one family member to the other, till her eyes did land where she expected her older brother and his boyfriend to hold hands under the table.</p><p>Everyone slowly followed her look and Lando could exactly tell the second his parents, sister and brother got it, that Cisca was right. Lando and Carlos were a couple and they hadn’t noticed anything till now.</p><p>Everything suddenly became too much for the young Brit, when the already present tears in his eyes slopped over the edge and like little rivers they made their ways down to his chin. Finally, finally they knew the truth and the relief about it caused Lando to tear up and break down in front of their eyes.</p><p>While everyone still looked with shocked eyes and widened mouths worthless at the couple in front of them, Carlos of course got his boyfriend’s state and took him into his arms. Lando searched for protection, when he leaned against his chest and let himself fall for some moments, to be able to catch himself and process the so many feelings rushing through his body and what had just happened.</p><p>Latest now, after his and Carlos’ reaction, also the rest of the Norris family understood. Softly the Spaniard was cradling his boyfriend in his arms and stroked over his trembling back, while the silent room was filled with Lando’s quiet sobs.</p><p>It felt like a half eternity of relieve, but also still fear about their reaction, till Lando could feel his mother’s hand on his shoulder. It needed much strength from him to take his face away from where it was buried inside his boyfriend’s shirt and to look up into her eyes.</p><p>Lando was afraid about what he will find there in his mother’s eyes, but all what he found was love. Nothing more, nothing less. With the back of her fingers she stroked over his tear strained cheek, while she smiled so understanding down at him. “Oh, sweetheart. It’s okay, you don’t need to cry. Everything is good.”</p><p>After looking right into her eyes for some more, to make sure she really meant it, Lando also dared to looked over at Flo, Oliver and his father. But they all had the same expression and nodded in understanding and acceptance. They were okay with it, they accepted it and most important, they were happy for him. They were happy for both of them.</p><p>“Really?” The young racer still squeaked out with a small, thin voice, while he looked at all of them for one more time. They all nodded their heads faster instantly and also with a bigger smile on their lips. It was more than Lando had ever dared to wish for.</p><p>Shortly before he could break into tears once again, his mother framed his face for one more time and made him so looking up at her, when she told him sincerely “Of course, sweetheart. We will always support you, no matter what. You will always have our backs. We love you, no matter who you love. I just wish you would have told us sooner, you seemed like you were suffering under it.”</p><p>Lando could only nod his head to that, before he could feel the next thick, hot tears running down his face. But right now it were tears of happiness and relieve. Never before in his life had he felt that way. His mother let her son fall back into his boyfriend’s arms, who welcomed him instantly. Over Lando’s head Carlos was smiling at all of them in gratefulness.</p><p>With still a smile on their lips, they watched the couple, the trust existing between them, the comfort, the love. His voice was still filled with tears and he also still leaned against the Spaniard’s chest, when Lando just had to ask his youngest sister about why she knew about them. How she had found out about them being a couple?</p><p>Cisca first only shrugged her shoulders, for her it was still the most obvious thing in the world, but when she got it that the rest of her family was still very curious about it, because they didn’t have a clue themselves, she finally told them “I don’t know. I have always thought it was a secret everyone knew about. But I was finally sure about it, when I have seen you by the horses today. I really don’t know why you are all so surprised about it. I think even someone blind would have been able to see that the two of them are together.”</p><p>Lando and Carlos could watch how the rest of the family reacted with lightly reddened cheeks and with trying to avoid their gazes to his little sister’s words. Obviously they were all really too blind to see it, but she had. She had got it right and they were all a little embarrassed about it.</p><p>It caused Lando to smile up at his boyfriend, who gave him the same wide, happy smile back. Carlos was right all the time, of course he was, because Lando felt so much better, so much lighter now that everyone knew. He should have told them the truth already such a long time ago, but now he could finally be himself, at least in front of his family.</p><p>It was Lando’s father, who spoke up first again, when he told him sincerely “It is like it is now. Maybe we hadn’t our eyes that opened like Cisca had, but we are still happy for the two of you. I think I speak for everyone when I say you are a sweet couple.”</p><p>His mother, brother and sisters agreed with fast nodding heads to that and caused Lando to smile even brighter and feel even better. “Thank you. If I’m serious, I was so afraid to talk to you about it, but now I really don’t know any more why I have felt this way. You are the best. I love you all, even you Oli.”</p><p>His brother rolled his eyes in response, before he smiled at his annoying, younger brother again. “There is really nothing you have to thank us for, sweetheart. And after you have or better Cisca has finally told us about it, I bet you at least want some dessert, or?”</p><p>“If I’m serious, I’m pretty hungry right now. I think I will first eat some of your chicken before I will go over to the dessert.” Lando announced, after his appetite had come back, while he already devoured the food on the plate in front of him. His whole family, including Carlos, laughed about it, before his mother told him to warm up the dinner for him again and disappeared with the plate in her hands into the kitchen.</p><p>Cisca followed her mother, she probably wanted to prepare their dessert, while Flo disappeared into the living room. Oliver and his father continued their conversation from before, while Lando snuggled himself closer against his boyfriend’s body and beamed up at him all happily.</p><p>“I’m so proud about you, mi amor.” Carlos whispered down at him with an indeed all proudly smile on his lips. “Even when Cisca did the speaking for me?” Lando asked in disbelief, because he still couldn’t believe what had just happened.</p><p>“Yes. I’m still very proud about you. I’m always proud about you, mi amor.” The Spaniard answered and he had really needed much body control to not lean down and press a soft kiss onto his boyfriend’s lips, because they had talked about it before. While they would be around Lando’s family, they would hold themselves back, because they didn’t want to cause anyone to feel uncomfortable.</p><p>After Lando’s mother had brought him the now warmed up dinner, also Flo came back with a big grin onto her lips. “I have found it.” She announced all happily. “I knew it had to be somewhere in the photo boxes.” All proudly she slammed the photo of little Lando sitting, or better clinging with his both of his arms and legs, on one of their horses.</p><p>The young Brit choked, when he got it what photo his sister meant and tried to get it from her hand, but it was already too late. Carlos had already seen it and tried to hold back his laughter, while Flo and Cisca already had tears in their eyes from laughing that much.</p><p>When he finally pouted, also his boyfriend had to laugh, but he swore it was about his reaction, not about the funny photo he had just seen. Latest when the dessert was standing right in front of Lando’s nose, his mood was all good again and he polished off even the last crumb of the chocolate cake.</p><p>Somewhere during their conversation, his mother asked if Lando didn’t want to help her to cook tomorrow, since the last time was already so long ago. “You did really help your mum cook when you were still living here?” Carlos asked positive surprised. With his mouth still full of cake, the young Brit shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head at the same time.</p><p>Carlos already knew his boyfriend well enough to know what that meant. Yeah, he had helped. Especially with trying the food if it did taste good, so often till he wasn’t any hungry at all in the end, when the meal was finally finished, after his mother had actually done the whole work on her own. He also knew his boyfriend’s cooking skills, so he obviously really hadn’t so many experiences in cooking all on his own.</p><p>“Yes, he really did.” Lando’s mother told his boyfriend, before she winked over to her son. “Yeah, but you really shouldn’t lose sight of him or he will burn the whole dinner again.” Oliver teased over the table, to which his younger brother did response with lightly blushed cheeks and a still full mouth “That has only happened once.”</p><p>“Yeah, of course. And do you know who the guilty one in Lando’s eyes was?” The question was for Carlos, who only shrugged unknowing his shoulders, already expecting something funny, because yeah, he exactly knew his boyfriend and how easy he was getting distracted.</p><p>“Rossi. Because Land has watched a Motor GP and he had totally forgotten about the meat in the oven.” Oliver said with raised eyebrows, like he still couldn’t believe himself that this story was true. “He had won the race.” Lando said with a small voice to defend himself, which caused finally also Carlos to chuckle, even when he had tried to hold it back.</p><p>With embarrassed and also ashamed eyes, Lando was looking all guilty up at him, before the Spaniard smiled that lovingly way at him and stroked his underarm, because even when Lando was getting distracted so easily and was also a little clumsy from time to time, he still loved him and the way he was with his whole heart. Because of the way he was, he loved him so much.</p><p>To brighten up his boyfriend’s mood, Carlos told them all and he couldn’t hide the proud tone in his voice “Lando has cooked for me on Valentine’s Day. He had made some burgers all on his own. Even the burger buns. It was the most delicious burger I have ever had.”</p><p>Oliver choked on his drink, when he heard that, while Lando’s mother looked all proudly at her youngest son and watched how his cheeks blushed by the compliment he had just got from his boyfriend. Grateful for his support and his nice words, the young Brit looked up at Carlos and gifted him one of his sweetest smiles in response.</p><p>And once again the Spaniard had to stop himself to lean down and kiss the younger once lips. But Oliver wasn’t finished with teasing him for tonight, he wouldn’t be Lando’s older brother if he had stopped here, when he said with an already big grin on his lips “I would have never expected that from you, little brother.” He first praised, but Lando already knew Oliver well enough to know that there will come something more.</p><p>“Was there also any dessert, or do you still don’t know how it works, little Landy?” From one second to the other, Lando’s head got all red like an overripe tomato, while Oliver still looked with raised eyebrows and this damn wide grin at his younger brother.</p><p>“Oliver.” Their mother reproved her oldest son, while Lando tried to calm down again. Once again Carlos couldn’t see him this way, so he wrapped his arm around his shoulders, pulled him closer and said so everyone could hear “Sure he had also prepared some dessert.”</p><p>No one had to know that the dessert was just some ice cream, but for Lando and also for Carlos it was a delicious dessert and their cuddling session after was even better. First confused the young Brit looked up at his boyfriend, because he didn’t seem to understand what he meant with that, but when Carlos winked at him, he finally understood and played along.</p><p>The wink and also the way Lando blushed once again told Oliver and all the other inside the room, that they must have had something different for dessert than some sweets. And even when it wasn’t true, at least not everything, they let them believe it. Because what they were doing when they were alone was only their business.</p><p>Oliver finally snorted, before he stood up to bring the dirty dishes into the kitchen, while he muttered something about that he had never thought Lando would find out where the babies come from. Their father smiled to himself, while he had read or at least pretended like he had read something in the newspaper the whole time long.</p><p>The rest of the evening stayed without any too embarrassing moments for Lando, before the couple left for bed, after also the other Norris siblings had gone their way after dinner. Before they will really go to bed, Carlos stayed for some more at his boyfriend’s room, talking and cuddling.</p><p>The second the two of them were finally all alone, the young Brit had crashed against his chest, jumped and squeaked all happily up and down in his arms, because he still couldn’t believe it what had happened tonight.</p><p>Once again Carlos pulled him closer then and told him how proud he was about him and this time he really leaned down to cover his still after chocolate cake tasting lips. They did end up cuddling in bed, never before Lando had felt so relieved in his life.</p><p>Till that one thought popped into his head and his expression changed from one second to the other into thoughtful again. “We still have to tell it to your family.” Lando said more to himself than to his boyfriend. Then even when Carlos’ family already knew about him being gay, it was still a big step to tell them about that they were a couple.</p><p>Being so deep inside his thoughts, the younger one first hadn’t even noticed the Spaniard’s smile, while he stroked absently over his arm. “You really don’t have to worry about that, mi amor. They already know about it. I have told them so a few days ago.” Lando’s eyes snapped up to his boyfriend’s, making sure he meant that serious and didn’t just want to calm him down.</p><p>“Really?” He asked still unsure, to which Carlos only nodded his head and brushed the single curl falling into his face away. “Why haven’t you said anything to me? I have thought we would wait till after the testing, when we will spend some time in Spain? And most important, what did they say?”</p><p>“I haven’t told you anything, because you were already so nervous and tensed the whole time long and I didn’t want to bother you with it as well. Yeah, I know. But I just couldn’t wait any more to tell it to them, mi amor. I was so excited and just couldn’t wait any more to tell them how proud I am to call you my boyfriend. And they have only said positive things. They are happy for me, for us and they can’t wait to see us together in a few days. Everything is good, mi amor. They are all with us.”</p><p>“That’s great to hear. It’s such a good feeling.” Lando admitted, while he cuddled himself closer against his boyfriend again, feeling pretty exhausted and also already tired after the whole tension and nervousness of the last few days.</p><p>They were laying like that for a while. Lando was holding onto Carlos, while he was sliding absently his fingers through is soft curls. To enjoy their closeness and peace even more, the younger one had closed his eyes during the process and would have probably drifted off into sleep in the next few minutes, if the older one wouldn’t have asked into the silence</p><p>“Why don’t you tell your family about it? You know what I mean. Then you wouldn’t have to listen to such things like your brother has said before.” Lando knew his boyfriend only meant it good, but the thought about to tell his family about his asexuality terrified Lando.</p><p>“Maybe one day, but not today. I have just told them about being gay and having a relationship with my team-mate. I think that’s enough for just one day. Furthermore, I’m already used to Oli’s stupid statements and I think I can withstand them, even when I hate it when he teases me this way. But maybe he will stop with it now, after what you have said.”</p><p>Lando beamed happily, but also already tired, up at his boyfriend, who smiled back at him and following placed a kiss onto his warm lips. “No matter what you do, I’m always with you, mi amor.” Now it was Lando’s time to stretch himself to reach Carlos’ lips and connect their lips together, before he huddled into him once again.</p><p>“I’m really so blessed with you. I love you, Carlos.” He whispered, feeling the way the Spaniard pulled him closer and whisper into his curls “And you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Te amo, mi amor.”</p><p>The younger one had just made himself comfortable in his boyfriend’s arms and had yawed long and extensive, when Carlos began to move under him. Lando grunted, because by now he was already pretty tired and just wanted to fall asleep in his warm arms, when Carlos remembered him about something he had already totally forgotten.</p><p>“I will better go now and let you sleep.” Shocked and also worried about that he wanted to leave him, Lando hold himself onto his arm and asked quickly “Why do you want to go? And where do you want to go?”</p><p>Carlos petted lovingly his head, because he exactly knew how clingy the little one became when he was tired. “Into the guest room, of course.” Oh, Lando had totally forgotten about that his boyfriend won’t sleep next to him tonight. “Can’t you just stay here for the night? Or at least for some more?”</p><p>The Spaniard smiled down at his boyfriend, he himself would have liked to stay next to him during the whole night long, but it wasn’t possible tonight. “I’m sorry, mi amor. But I don’t want to upset your parents. It’s their house and when they don’t want us to sleep in one bed together, I should respect it. And I’m just a few rooms away anyway.”</p><p>All pouting and puppy eyes didn’t help to change Carlos’ mind, when he got up from the warm bed, gave his boyfriend a good night kiss and whispered “Sleep well, mi amor. You need the rest after today. Buenas noches.”</p><p>Still unwillingly, Lando finally stopped to clung onto his boyfriend’s body and let him go, after he had stolen himself one more kiss and also wished him good night. With his arms crossed in front of his chest and a big frown, Lando was laying all annoyed and alone inside his bed now.</p><p>As tired as he had been before, as wide awake he was now, while he was laying there inside his cold bed, while his boyfriend was so close but still not reachable for him. After he had already spent a half eternity to roll from one side of the bed to the other, he sat up again and decided that he needed at least some more cuddles from his favourite Spaniard, before he could fall asleep for tonight.</p><p>All carefully and quietly Lando opened the door of his room to listen outside. He could hear the television from the living room downstairs, he could hear Flo talking to her boyfriend on the phone and he could lightly hear the music coming from his brother’s room.</p><p>Lando dared to look outside on the corridor. He peaked to his right and to his left, but the long corridor was all empty. He stepped out of his room, closed the door behind him as carefully as he had opened it and got on his tiptoes to the room a few doors away from his.</p><p>As quietly as possible, Lando knocked against the guest room’s door, before he whispered close to the wood “It’s me.” Within seconds a quiet “Come inside” came from the other side and a big grin was on Lando’s voice when he heard his boyfriend’s voice and he slipped inside the room. “Seems like someone couldn’t sleep, huh?” Carlos greeted him, while he supported himself on his arms and eyed his cute boyfriend in his pyjama.</p><p>“Of course, I couldn’t. How should I even, when I know you are so close and I still can’t cuddle with you?” Carlos didn’t need to answer that, because he felt exactly the same. “Then come over here, you little cuddle monster.” He just told him, while he already opened the warm duvet for him and got so a big smile on his boyfriend’s lips instantly.</p><p>Lando crawled over the Spaniard’s body, so he was laying between the wall and the safety of his boyfriend. The second Lando was laying, he was captured, when Carlos pulled the duvet over his body and him even closer against his oh so warm and soft body.</p><p>“Better?” He asked a little teasingly, before he kissed the young Brit’s nose. “Way better.” Lando answered with a big grin, while he already snuggled himself even closer and made himself all comfortable.</p><p>Actually he had only planned to stay and cuddle for some time, before he will sneak back into his own room, but somehow they had both fallen asleep while holding onto each other. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>:)</p><p>What do you all think? This chapter has became longer than I have actually planned it to be, but I think that's already standard for me, or?! :D</p><p>I still hope you have enjoyed it!</p><p>Thanks so much for reading &lt;3</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so sorry it took me so long for updating this story here, but I finally made it and I hope you will enjoy it :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next time Lando opened his eyes again, the sun was already raising, Carlos was snoring softly next to him and he felt all warm and comfortable. Actually a perfect Saturday morning, till the young Brit remembered where they were.</p><p>“Shit. We have fallen asleep.” Lando muttered, while he already tried to free himself from his boyfriend’s grip and the duvets. “That’s not a nice way to say good morning, mi amor.” Carlos grumbled still all sleepily, while he rubbed his eyes.</p><p>“No, you don’t understand. We have fallen asleep <em>together</em>.” The younger one tried to explain, to which the Spaniard did only frown. Yeah, they had fallen asleep together like that already hundred times, that really wasn’t something new. Annoyed about his slowness, Lando rolled his eyes before he tried once more “We have fallen asleep in the guest room of my parent’s place, you little dummy.”</p><p>“Oh.” Now also Carlos had got the problem and finally unknotted his legs with Lando’s, so he could stand up. “How late is it?” The older one asked, while he let his legs hang over the bed edge and tried to finally get fully awake. The young Brit took a look on his boyfriend’s phone to check the time.</p><p>“It’s shortly before six. My mum usually stands up at six. If we are lucky they maybe haven’t noticed anything.” Carefully Lando opened the door to peek outside on the corridor. No one was to be seen, maybe he could really sneak back into his room without anyone noticed so.</p><p>“It’s all quiet, everyone seems to be still asleep. I will go back to my room now.” The young racer whispered over his shoulder and also Carlos listened to the silence, if he could maybe hear any noises. “Okay, mi amor. Good luck. See you in a few hours.” The older one whispered, before he gave his boyfriend a quick kiss onto his cheek and let him go then.</p><p>Carlos quietly closed the door behind Lando, who tried to make his way to his room on his tip toes. He had almost reached his door, when he heard another getting opened and finally also the concerned voice from his mother “Sweetheart, why are you already up?”</p><p>Lando flinched together, he was caught. It just had to happen, right? Not only being but also feeling caught, he turned around to face his parents with already blushed cheeks. “I.. I have just.. wanted to..” He tried to find an excuse for sneaking around at six in the morning, but even when he still tried so hard, his sleep drunken brain didn’t want to come up with a good, credible excuse.</p><p>Before his parents could respond anything, another door was audible and Lando could really kick his own ass for also getting caught by one of his siblings. But to his surprise not one of them, instead Carlos appeared on the corridor.</p><p>“Good morning.” He wished his boyfriend’s parents, while he stepped right behind Lando and laid his hands on top of his shoulders. “Lando has spent the night next to me. We have both fallen asleep last evening, it really wasn’t our intention to break the rules and sleep in one bed under your roof. It was my fault and I will make sure it won’t happen again.”</p><p>Shocked Lando looked up at Carlos, because it wasn’t even true. It was his fault, he had sneaked into his room last evening for some cuddles, but he still thought it was sweet from his boyfriend to take the whole blame on him.</p><p>But that wasn’t right, the Spaniard shouldn’t have said that and just when Lando wanted to tell his parent’s the truth, he saw their confused faces. They looked alternately at their youngest son and his boyfriend, not getting what was the big deal with sleeping in the same bed.</p><p>Best Lando had wanted to explain to them that they didn’t have to worry about anything, because nothing would happen between them anyway. But he couldn’t tell them so and right then it was the first time he wished they knew the whole truth about his sexuality.</p><p>Lando’s mother seemed to be the first one to get it why the couple in front of them seemed to be so nervous, why Carlos defended the younger one and why Lando had sneaked around at six in the morning.</p><p>“Oh, sweetheart.” She began, while she stepped closer to them to take her son’s face into her hands. “Have you really thought we would have something against the two of you sharing a bed? We have actually thought that it was clear after yesterday that you would both sleep in your bed and won’t need the guest room any more. Of course, you can spend the nights together while you are here. Your father and I are okay with that, sweetheart.”</p><p>“Really?” Lando still asked with some tears glistening in his eyes. “Really, Lando. I think you are old enough to know what you are doing and besides you won’t ask us anyway if you and Carlos can share a bed when you aren’t at our place, am I right? So it’s okay.” The young Brit’s father announced and Lando felt tons lighter.</p><p>“Thank you.” Lando whispered, while he cuddled himself into his boyfriend’s side. “And now hurry back into bed, get yourself some more rest. What are you doing already up so early on a Saturday anyway. I will call you when breakfast is ready.”</p><p>Lando and Carlos didn’t let themselves tell so twice. They jumped right back into their warm bed to cuddle some more after the whole excitement. About two hours later, dozing off a few times and many snuggles later, his mother called them for breakfast and neither her nor his father said one word about the happening from this morning in front his siblings.</p><p>The rest of the morning they spent outside. Together with Olli they were driving some quod and dirt bikes. Later they visited Flo and Cisca in the stables. Lando’s youngest sister obviously seemed to have a little crush on his boyfriend, the way she was always beaming up at him. Who could blame her? And also Carlos seemed to like her, when he even got on a horse, after she had asked him for the hundred time.</p><p>Lando was a little annoyed about that, because just yesterday the Spaniard had secured him he won’t ever get on one of these, but it only needed her sister’s big, puppy eyes to do everything she wanted from him.</p><p>“Don’t be jealous, mi amor. I just can’t resist the Norris’ charm.” Carlos teased him, when he saw his pout and the frown on his forehead. Latest when the older one was tickling him and kissed his tensed lips soft, the world was alright again.</p><p>While the young racer made lunch with his mother together, Carlos and his father were talking about business. Lando had no clue about what they were talking about, but he envied his boyfriend a little for being able to talk with everyone. To always know what to say, to be that educated.</p><p>But at the same time he was also proud about his boyfriend, of course he was. And of course Cisca was sitting right next to Carlos during lunch, watched him with hearts in her eyes and she also claimed him after lunch, when she showed him some pics on her phone.</p><p>And once again the Spaniard got his boyfriend’s jealousy, while he watched the two of them with narrowed eyes. Carlos softly kicked his foot under the table and winked at him to stop worrying. While Adam, Olli and Flo took care of the dirty dishes, Carlos and Lando’s mother talked about food, especially about the Spanish kitchen.</p><p>By now the young racer was already pretty annoyed, because everyone seemed to claim his boyfriend, while he had actually wanted to spend time with him, before they had to fly to Barcelona. Lando knew that sparkle in Carlos’ eyes, when he looked over at his pouting self. He seemed to have an idea, he thought he would probably like.</p><p>“Mi amor, why do we don’t give your mother a break and we take care of the dinner tonight? We could cook some decent Spanish dinner for everyone.” Lando’s heart began to flutter by that. Actually he wasn’t the biggest fan of cooking, but he was the biggest fan of his boyfriend and he would do probably anything to spend some time with him.</p><p>Lando also hadn’t missed, that Carlos had called him <em>mi amor</em> for the first time in front of his family. “Sounds great to me, but we have to go shopping for it first.” The young racer announced with a bright smile and after his mother had looked between the two of them, she came to the decision “Oh, you are so cute together. And to have a day off or at least a dinner off sounds like fantastic. I have so much garden work to do anyway.”</p><p>“But Carlos, please make sure Lando won’t burn the whole dinner, because he is so distracted with staring at you. Like right now.” Olli pleaded the Spaniard, when he walked past them. Lando’s cheeks blushed instantly, but before he could show his older brother his tongue, Carlos took his hand and informed him “Come on, mi amor. We have a lot of work to do.”</p><p>It felt great to finally spend some time alone with his boyfriend again, even when they weren’t really alone, while shopping all different kinds of food Lando couldn’t even pronounce. They came back in the middle of the afternoon and began with their work instantly.</p><p>Like always Carlos was taking the biggest part of the cooking or like Olli would say the part Lando could make the biggest disaster. Instead, he did cut all different kind of vegetables and also fruits, just everything his boyfriend commented him.</p><p>But to cheer up his mood, Lando was allowed to cost the food, spend time with his boyfriend together, snuggle himself against his body and steal little kisses from his soft lips whenever there was time.</p><p>They were already almost finished and after being able to have Carlos the whole afternoon long for himself, he let Cisca and Flo help them to set the dining table.</p><p>The meal was delicious, of course it was, because Carlos had done the most work, like Olli determined, but the Spaniard defended his boyfriend again, when he also lied again that they had cooked it together. He had just laid an extra eye on him to be sure to have something to serve tonight.</p><p>Lando’s mother was thrilled about to hear, that the two of them did often cook together and that her son even had fun doing so. After they have all worked together to get rid of the dirty dishes, they wandered into the living room to play some board game.</p><p>Of course, Cisca instantly claimed Carlos to be her team-mate and because the Spaniard couldn’t bring it over his heart to say no to her, he finally agreed and hoped Lando’s heart to not be that broken.</p><p>“Okay, but I will take dad then.” The young Brit announced lightly offended, knowing that his father was always the best in this game. Lando hardly took his eyes off of his boyfriend for one second and already some else claimed him again.</p><p>He wasn’t used to that. Normally he had Carlos’ whole attention, always. Lando liked that feeling, because he never had someone’s whole attention with being one of four siblings. It’s not like his parents had never loved him or spend time with him, the total contrary even, but it still felt incredible good to be the focus of his boyfriend.</p><p>It turned out that Carlos was even better in this game than his father. Of course, he was. The Spaniard was always the best in everything, without even trying it. But the climax was his boyfriend even had the insolence to kick his figure out of the game.</p><p>“That’s unfair! You can’t do this!” Lando protested with his hands waving uncontrolled. His reaction caused Cisca to giggle that triumphed and annoying way. “Why shouldn’t he be able to do this?” She asked with raised eyebrows, being pretty sure of herself.</p><p>“Because he is my boyfriend. That’s way.” Lando looked seeking for help over at his mother, who played the referee, because wise like she was, she had known something like that could happen. But to her youngest son’s disappointment, she only began to laugh, like the rest of his family.</p><p>Also Carlos couldn’t suppress his own smile any more, which caused Lando to get even more annoyed and angry. Offended he leaned back into his seat, did form a big pout onto his lips, narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend and even crossed his arms in front of his chest.</p><p>“Oh, mi amor. Don’t take it so serious. It’s just a game.” His Spaniard finally seemed to have pity with him and also squeezed his knee under the table. But that really didn’t change his mood, he wanted more. “What do I need to do to make that pout on your lips going away again?” Carlos teased and it didn’t only surprise his family and boyfriend, but also Lando himself, when he answered determined</p><p>“I want a kiss.” Everything was silent for a few moments. No one of his family said one word and even when the Spaniard had first looked surprised about his boyfriend’s directness, he still smiled at him in the end. “Unfair! That’s bribery!” It was Olli, who protested by their mother now.</p><p>Lando was relieved about that his brother complained about the kiss to have a negative effect for their game, but not about to see his younger brother kissing another man. It made Lando happy, relieved, even proud to have such an understanding and supporting family.</p><p>Even when it was still all so new for them and they also still had to get used to that Lando had a boyfriend now, who just also happened to be also his team-mate, they were great. Like they had always been. Lando knew he was really blessed with such a family and he really couldn’t understand any more, why he was first so scared about telling them about Carlos and their relationship.</p><p>Back to Olli’s protest, this time his mother didn’t begin to laugh, she was only smiling when she shrugged her shoulders and finally told her youngest son with a wink “I think we can make an exception here.” Lando’s cheeks began to burn, but on the other side he was looking forward to finally become one of those sweet kisses from his boyfriend again.</p><p>Even when it was probably not even one hour ago, when he had stolen himself a kiss from his Spaniard’s lips. But still he was excited about to kiss Carlos in front of his family for the first time, when the older one leaned closer with a smile on his smooth lips. It was a short, but not less sweet peck the older one gifted him, enough to stop him being disappointed and offended, but not too much to overwhelm his family.</p><p>When the couple pulled apart again, Carlos winked playfully at him and from the corner of his eyes Lando could see his parents smiling touched at each other and even when his siblings had looked away by their kiss, they also had a smile on their lips, being happy for their brother.</p><p>“Alright, but Carlos is still mine by the next game.” Lando noticed determined to which his older brother countered “For the sake of god, please let him play with his boyfriend. He can’t kiss him the whole time, just because our little baby right here can’t lose.” This time also Lando had to laugh.</p><p>Before they said good night and disappeared upstairs, Lando went into the kitchen for some water, when his sister followed him. “You know, I don’t have a clue about how you have made that, but..” Flo started, while she filled some water from the tap into her own glass “You have really made it somehow to get yourself the hottest driver on the grid.”</p><p>She let that sink inside her brother’s head, while she took a sip from the glass and she also raised her eyebrows while doing so. Lando could feel his cheeks blush, but still he began to smile as well. He hated to admit it, but yes, she was so right.</p><p>“If I’m serious I also still don’t know why he wants to be my boyfriend.” Lando told his sister and his sudden serious voice made her coming closer and lay her hand on top of his shoulder. “Don’t be silly, Land. I can exactly see why he has chosen you over everyone else. You are exactly what he needs, someone to look after, someone to protect and he is exactly what you need, someone to lean onto, someone you can trust fully. Carlos loves you, I can see that. So just don’t be a dork once and never make him stop loving you. Seriously, well done. I like your taste, big brother.”</p><p>Lando nudged his shoulder against Flo’s with even more embarrassment than before, when he told her touched “Thank you. I will try my best, I promise.” Later when they were lying in bed, in <em>his</em> bed, the young Brit told his boyfriend about the talk with his sister.</p><p>“Your family is amazing, you know that, mi amor? Every one of them is amazing.” Carlos whispered, being happy for his boyfriend to have such a supporting and kind family. “Yeah, I have just realized so again today. You were right, there was no reason for me to be scared they wouldn’t accept me.”</p><p>Proud about him and everything he had done, the Spaniard bumped his nose against his cheek, before he kissed the soft skin there. “Now we still have to tell your family about us.” Lando sighted, just thinking about it made him nervous and scared again, even when Carlos had insured him about that his family will be also happy for them.</p><p>“As for that, mi amor..” The Spaniard started, bit down onto his lip and got so Lando’s whole attention. “Yeah?” The younger one looked at the Spaniard with raised eyebrows, already expecting something he probably won’t like. Carlos looked kind of ecstatic with that smile, but also a little nervous about his reaction to what he wanted to tell him.</p><p>“I have already told them about us.” It did burst out of him suddenly. “I’m sorry, mi amor. But after we have decided to tell it our families, I just couldn’t wait any more to tell them about you, about us, about that I’m allowed to call you mine. I was so excited about it and if I wouldn’t have told them, I would have probably burst. I’m sorry.”</p><p>Of course, Lando was surprised about that information, but on the other side he could understand his boyfriend. His family had already known about his sexuality before and he did believe him, when he said he couldn’t wait any more to tell them the truth.</p><p>“It’s okay, don’t worry about that.” Lando secured his boyfriend, while he moved his fingers through his dark mane. “But tell me, how have they reacted about the news?” The young Brit held his breath, but his worries were for nothing, when Carlos’ smile only grew and he affirmed him “They were happy for me, for both of us. We also have their support for everything we are doing, mi amor. You don’t have to worry about that any more.”</p><p>Relieved the young Brit let himself sink down into the pillows behind himself, taking Carlos with him, who was laying with his chest on top of his body, his head resting on top of his belly. “But you should have seen Caco’s reaction, it was priceless.” The older one added and Lando began to tense instantly again.</p><p>“You have also told your cousin about us?” He asked shocked, because he had only expected Carlos to tell his parents and sisters about their relationship. Lightly confused about his reaction, the Spaniard finally cleared “Of course, I have also told him about us. Caco is family too and besides we will both see him almost every day when the new season will start again. It would be difficult to not tell him about us then and besides he has already expected something like that anyway, but he still was surprised. But he is also happy for us and I think it’s good to have someone who knows about us, while we are travelling.”</p><p>“You are right. I’m sorry, it’s just..” Sleepy the younger one rubbed his eyes, before his boyfriend ended the sentence for him “..still so new for you, I know, mi amor. But don’t worry any more, everything is alright. I’m still sorry about not telling you so sooner, but you were already so nervous and tensed about telling your family that I wanted to keep it to myself first.”</p><p>Lovingly Carlos let his fingers slide in a calming way through his curls, comforting him with his touches and soft eyes. “Tomorrow we will tell Rupert and Jon about us and on Monday Zak, Andreas and Charlotte, so we can be finally us, while travelling.”</p><p>Lando knew that after already telling his family the truth, it should be easier to tell his trainer so and Carlos will be also next to his side and he already knew now that his boyfriend will probably do the most talking with their bosses and press manager, but still he felt overwhelmed just thinking about it. But that will be tomorrow, right now he was here with Carlos, all cuddled up and warm.</p><p>“You know, I have never thought I would lay in my old bed together with you.” The young Brit announced with a big, happy grin. It seemed to be contagious, because also his boyfriend began to smile over both of his ears, happy about that he could forget his worries at least for now.</p><p>It felt indeed great to huddle into the older one, also because his bed really wasn’t made for two people. But they didn’t care about that. Right then at this moment Lando was endless happy and still in Carlos’ arms, he fell peacefully asleep.</p><p>After having breakfast the next day, the couple needed to get back home to pack for the testing in Barcelona and also to talk to their trainers. The whole family wished them good luck for Spain and to stay save. They also told them to visit them again as soon as possible, to which they could both only agree to. They really had a good time at their place.</p><p>While Lando already brought his bag to the car, Carlos got held back by his mother, when she whispered to the Spaniard “Please, take care of my little boy.” Wildly agreeing Carlos nodded his head, before he secured her “Don’t worry, I will take good care of him. I promise.”</p><p>Lando’s mother hugged his boyfriend tight in response, she also even kissed Carlos’ cheek in thankfulness, before she also hugged her youngest son, when Lando had come back to them again. </p><p>“I love you, mum. Thank you for everything.” The young racer whispered, while he was still in her arms. “I also love you, sweetheart. And I’m so proud about you.” Lando felt how his eyes became wet. He also hugged his father and siblings, before the couple finally got into the car and waved goodbye, when they drove out of their driveway.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so happy to finally be able to upload the next chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Tell me, how was it?“ Sacha asked all inpatient, while jumping up and down excited next to Lando, the second he had come home. The young Brit had let out Carlos by his place, so he could first pack for their flight tomorrow, before he will come over for the night.</p><p>“It was good, great actually.” Lando summarized quickly, still struggling with his bag. “See, I told you they would understand it.” Sacha noted happy for his friend, before he helped him.</p><p>Later, the young Brit told his room-mate in every detail about the last two days and how relieved he did feel after this burden was gone. “And what are you doing now? What’s the next step?” Sacha wanted to know, with his chin resting on top of his knees, after he had listened closely to his friend’s story.</p><p>“Carlos and I want to tell our trainers about our relationship. They should know it as well. Actually Carlos probably does so at the moment, like I should do as well. We have planned to tell Jon and Rupert before we will fly to Barcelona tomorrow. We also want to tell Zak, Andreas and Charlotte so tomorrow morning. You know, it will be easier to spend time together and they can also help us to keep it secretly, at least for now. After testing, we will spend a few days in Spain by Carlos’ family. They already know about us, Carlos had told them so.”</p><p>“Sounds like some pretty exciting coming days, huh?” Sacha summarized and when Lando nodded agreeing his head, feeling anxious just thinking about it, the young Argentine reached out to take his friend’s hand to squeeze it lightly. “Don’t be afraid, you don’t have to do it all on your own. You have Carlos. He will take care of you. And besides I think you are right. It won’t harm to tell some people about your relationship. They can protect you as well and make it even more enjoyable. Just take it step by step and don’t look at the whole thing. And the next step is to call Jon. So do it, I bet he will understand it as well and will be happy for both of you.”</p><p>Sacha should stay right. After Lando had disappeared inside his room, he had called his trainer with shaky hands. He said it straight way, because he just couldn’t wait any more and no matter what he would have planned to say, he wouldn’t have been able to repeat it anyway.</p><p>The second Jon had picked up the phone and greeted him with his usual ‘Hello, have you already taken your vitamins today?’ Lando babbled into the phone in one train “CarlosandIaretogether.”</p><p>It was quiet for a view seconds on the other end, while the young Brit did bite painfully down into his lips, expecting the worst. Maybe Jon hadn’t understood him and he had to repeat it again. No, he couldn’t say it out loud once again. He just couldn’t.</p><p>Luckily his trainer seemed to have understood him, but still the response he got really wasn’t what he had expected “Damn, I owe Rupert twenty bucks.” Jon muttered into the phone and confused Lando so completely. “Huh?”</p><p>“Rupert and I have bet. I think it’s obvious about what, right?” Jon explained, still annoyed about the lost bet. “That’s actually all you have to say? I just told you I’m in a relationship with my team-mate and with that also gay and all you do is being worried about the twenty bucks?” Lando growled angrily and lightly offended into the phone.</p><p>“Sorry, Lando. I didn’t mean it like that, it just didn’t come unexpected for me.” Jon tried to explain, his voice did sound softer like usual again. “But you have lost the bet, you thought we aren’t together.” Lando asked confused, while he frowned and asked himself what kind of talk this actually was.</p><p>“Yeah, but even a blind one sees that there is something between the two of you. I have only bet with Rupert, that you and Carlos aren’t a couple. However, that’s not important now. But it is important that you are happy, because you obviously are. And as long as you are happy, I’m also happy for you, Lando. I really am, I’m happy for the two of you. You both harmonize so well with each other and Carlos is good for you, I have already seen it. I’m really happy. So, are you going official now?”</p><p>“No, at least not yet. First we only want to tell it a few people. Our families, Rupert, you, Zak, Andreas and also Charlotte tomorrow.” Lando explained, he had finally started to relax again. “Oh, I feel honoured to count under those less people. No, seriously, Lando. I’m really happy for you and your secret will be in good hands. I promise to not tell anyone about it.”</p><p>“Thanks, Jon. That really means a lot to me.” The young Brit sighted in relieve, latest now the whole tension was gone. Jon and he talked for so more, about Barcelona and also his training, before they ended the call and Lando played some GTA together with Sacha.</p><p>Carlos finally came over in the late afternoon to report his boyfriend and room-mate about what his trainer had said to the news. “Rupert was pretty happy. He is twenty bucks richer now.” The Spaniard announced to which Lando rolled his eyes.</p><p>“I know, I have already heard about it. What else did he say?” The younger one urged, he couldn’t sit still any more. “Don’t worry, mi amor. He is happy for us, has actually already expected us to be a couple since months and he won’t tell anybody about it.”</p><p>Lando sighted in relief, another burden was gone from his shoulders. “What has Jon said about it?” His boyfriend wanted to know from him now, while he pulled him into his side to stroke through his curls to calm him down with doing so. “The same actually. Even when he was first a little annoyed about the lost money.”</p><p>Carlos, Lando and Sacha played some FIFA together on their PlayStation, before they ordered some pizza and finally went to bed early. Even when their trainers also knew about them now, there was still the fact that they wanted to tell their bosses about it tomorrow morning.</p><p>“Don’t worry, mi amor. Everything will be good. You will see.” The Spaniard tried to calm him down, while he kissed his forehead and pulled him closer against his chest.</p><p>Once again Sacha had been right. With Carlos together Lando felt like he could do everything he wanted, he could make everything. Maybe also because his boyfriend did the talking the next morning with their bosses, while Lando only stood next to him like the unsure, little boy he felt.</p><p>But all the nervousness and tension was once again for nothing, because like Jon and Rupert, their bosses accepted it as well as long as it won’t affect their driving. Carlos and Lando both secured them to stay focus as long as they were inside the car, they didn’t have to worry about.</p><p>“Then everything is good, boys.” Zak told them with his thick American accent, before he tapped his hand almost painfully on top of Lando’s shoulder, when he passed him. Also Andreas gave them a nod and also a smile, before he followed Zak outside the room.</p><p>Charlotte, who had been standing a few steps behind their bosses and had held herself back until now, began to squeak and slang her arms over both of their necks at the same time. “I’m so, so happy for the two of you. I knew it, I simply knew it since the very beginning. I just can’t wait to tell Henrik, Helen and..”</p><p>“No.” Carlos and Lando both interrupted her at the same time with widened eyes. “Please, don’t tell anyone about us. At least not now. Promise.” Lando almost begged to which his boyfriend nodded agreeing his head.</p><p>They could watch how the big smile on Charlotte’s face faded away for one second, before she nodded her and told them truthfully “I promise, boys. I won’t tell anyone, but if you should ever need something, just let me know.” The couple shared a look, before Carlos asked with a cheeky grin “A double bedroom in Barcelona would be nice.”</p><p>Latest when they were sitting in the plane to Barcelona, Lando forgot all his problems. The tension and angst was completely gone, instead he only felt excited for the tests any more. And the best of it, his favourite Spaniard was sitting right next to him and had the same happy smile on his lips as he had.</p><p>Charlotte kept her promise, so the couple was able to share a hotel room. They didn’t do much for the rest of the day. After having a meeting with their engineers, Carlos and Lando went for dinner together with Rupert and Jon. His boyfriend’s trainer laid his hand on his shoulder, before he whispered into his ear so only he could hear “I’m happy for the two of you and I also owe you something.”</p><p>Lando rolled his eyes, but still he didn’t complain about the desert both of their trainers invited them to, because of the big news. That evening the young Brit fell asleep pretty quickly, cuddled against his boyfriend, because he couldn’t wait any more for the next day.</p><p>The anticipation stayed, till they were on their way to the racetrack. “Why are you so quiet, mi amor? Don’t you feel well?” Carlos asked concerned, when he saw his boyfriend’s pale face. “Caco and also your father will be there, right?” Lando asked with a small voice, just the thought about meeting them after they had got to know Carlos and he were a couple caused him to get all anxious.</p><p>“But, mi amor. Of course, Caco will be there and also my dad will come by later to watch us. You know the two of them, you have already seen them so often. About what are you suddenly so afraid about?” Carlos tried to calm down the younger one. He got it why he was scared, but at the same time he also didn’t understand.</p><p>Unsure Lando shrugged his shoulders, he didn’t know it himself why he was feeling this way from one second to the other. But when he had realized that he had to face the cousin and even worse also the father of his boyfriend for the first time, since they knew about their relationship, he expected them to probably tear off his head or even worse.</p><p>Yeah, maybe they had liked Lando while he was only Carlos’ team-mate and friend, but maybe they will hate him as his boyfriend. Who knew? “Stop overthinking everything, mi amor. They are still the same as before and they also won’t act any different. You will see. Try to relax again, we are almost there.” The Spaniard had tried to comfort him, but in the end it hadn’t helped.</p><p>The first time Lando had seen Caco again, he best had wanted to run away, when he came into his direction. But the Spaniard only greeted him like he always did, they shared some words before they both went their own ways again.</p><p>Latest by lunch, everything felt normal again. Lando even already fooled around with Caco together. Carlos had smiled at his boyfriend, while watching the two of them, before he told him later “I have told you so, mi amor. No reason to panic.”</p><p>But Lando did indeed start to panic completely, when he spotted Carlos’ dad walking into their garage in the afternoon. He tried to hide himself behind his boyfriend, who first didn’t know why the younger one acted that strange.</p><p>When his father came into his direction and greeted him, Carlos only got it, when he wanted to turn around to look for Lando so his boyfriend and father could share some words as well. Just one second ago he was still right behind him and now he seemed to be devoured by the ground. The older one finally found Lando hiding behind the tyres.</p><p>“Lando, what are you doing here?” Carlos asked in disbelief, when he had caught his eyes between two stacks of tyres. Embarrassed the young Brit shrugged his shoulders, he felt stupid for his behaviour, he really did, but still he couldn’t help himself.</p><p>“Don’t be silly, Lando. It’s not like my dad is going to eat you alive.” The Spaniard joked, while he tried to pull him out of his hiding place. But his try to cheer him up only caused his boyfriend to get even more scared. “Lando. Please. You have already seen and also spoken to my dad so often. He won’t hurt you in any way. He actually likes you, but only if you stop hiding from him now. And furthermore I also had to get through the same, when we have visited your family.”</p><p>“You were afraid about meeting them?” Lando asked surprised, he wasn’t aware about that. Carlos hadn’t looked anxiously at all that day and he also hadn’t acted that nervously and stupid like he did at the moment. But then Lando remembered about that his boyfriend never really showed such emotions, actually he should already know that by now.</p><p>“Of course, I was, mi amor. I was also pretty nervous and excited about how they will react about us and if they will like me.” Carlos explained, while they were still hiding behind the tyres. “But who wouldn't like you?” The young racer asked with big eyes, he couldn’t even imagine one reason why someone couldn’t like his boyfriend.</p><p>Carlos smiled softly down at his boyfriend, brushing with his fingers lightly over the back of his hand. “I ask myself the same about you, mi amor.” The Spaniard whispered, causing the younger one to think about it for some moments.</p><p>“Come on, mi amor. Let’s go back, before someone gets suspicious.” He then whispered, before he leaned down to press a quick kiss onto his lips. Carlos took his boyfriend’s hand to make sure he did follow him. Shortly before the tyres didn’t hide them any more, he let go and winked back at Lando when he noticed he was still following him, even without holding his shaking hand.</p><p>“Hola, Lando.” Carlos senior greeted him like already so many times before, with the same kind smile on his lips. He also laid his hand for a few moments on top of his shoulder like always, but what was knew were those Spanish words he didn’t understand “How are you, mi hijo?”</p><p>Since also the first meeting with his father-in-law was finally done, Lando could fully concentrate on the testing. It were some pretty funny, interesting days here in Barcelona, especially that one Sky video they had made. It was still a shame about the good milk..</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What if he doesn’t like me?” Lando confessed his boyfriend with a tortured voice. “He will like you, mi amor. Don’t worry about that.” Carlos tried to calm down his nerves for the fourth time in the last two minutes. The older one reached over the centre console to reach for his shaking hand.</p><p>Gently he squeezed Lando’s so cold and lightly sweated hand and actually the Spaniard had thought to take so and also with the warm, encouraging smile he had offered him even the very last doubts away from his boyfriend.</p><p>But he should be taught wrong, when he took has hand away again to get it back onto its place at the steering wheel, and Lando squeaked with a thin voice “But you think he can sense evil. What if he doesn’t like me, will you trust your dog’s sense and stop being my boyfriend?”</p><p>Without any forewarning, Carlos’ foot got instantly on the brake and surprised so actually both of them, when he quickly steered the car to the right and they stopped on the green space next to the roadway. The second the car stood, the older one moved in his seat, so he could face his boyfriend and look right into his eyes for the first time since that conversation had started.</p><p>“Don’t be silly, Lando.” Carlos began with a smile, even when he had to admit he was a little worried about the younger one and his thoughts. “What should Pinon sense by you? The milkshake you had before we left Barcelona?” He really didn’t mean it in a teasing kind of way, but still the look his boyfriend gave him told him he was embarrassed but also very concerned.</p><p>“Lando.” The Spaniard said in a calmer, softer voice now, while he took both of his ice-cold and shaking hands into his and stroked with his thumb over the soft skin on the back of his sweating hands. “Why are you so nervous to meet Pinon? You are almost more nervous than you were meeting Caco and my dad again a few days ago.”</p><p>With a small voice and only to dare to look up at the older one through his lashes, Lando tried to explain “Because I know how much your dog means to you. Would you break up with me, if Pinon really shouldn’t like me?” Carlos really had to hold back a wide smile, he probably would have also giggled about his boyfriend’s unfounded worries, but he exactly noticed how scared and anxious Lando really was about it, so he swallowed down the urge to laugh and instead he squeezed his hands even tighter, so he had to look up at him.</p><p>“Yes, mi amor. Pinon means a lot to me, but he is my dog. You are my boyfriend, the young, sweet man I love with my whole heart. I would never leave you because my dog doesn’t like you, something that won’t ever happen anyway. Trust me, mi amor. Pinon has liked everyone so far and he especially likes kids, so you actually don’t have a reason to be worried at all.” Carlos winked at his boyfriend, who got the message and also finally began to smile again.</p><p>“The only thing he will sense by you will be how cute, kind, funny, good-hearted and lovely you are. And besides, if this all shouldn’t work you could still lure him with some treats. That always works, he will love you for the rest of his life if you give him something to eat.”</p><p>Latest now the young Brit not only smiled again, he also finally laughed about his boyfriend’s statement and he began to relax in his seat. “Seriously, mi amor. Stop worrying, you don’t have a reason for it. Pinon will love you as much as I love you, trust me.”</p><p>Carlos whispered gently, while he stroked through his boyfriend’s cute curls. “Why don’t you take a little nap? We still need some more time till we are at home and the last few days were pretty exciting.” Lando nodded agreeing to his well-meant suggestion and after his boyfriend had leaned even closer to cover his lips for a sweet kiss, the young Brit made himself comfortable in his seat.</p><p>Just a few minutes after he had closed his eyes, Carlos could hear him snoring softly next to him, which caused him to smile to himself about the younger once cuteness. The last few days had really been pretty exhausting, especially for Lando.</p><p>After the fear about meeting his cousin and father again, since they knew about them being a couple, Lando was way more relaxed again and could fully concentrate on the testing. There had been many media things to do, they didn’t have one minute free during the day, their whole daily routine was planned down to the smallest detail.</p><p>They didn’t have much time for each other during the last few days, but at least they were able to share one hotel room, thanks to Charlotte. So at least the evenings did only belong to them, even when after having dinner, they both fell pretty quickly asleep after the long, exhausting day they had.</p><p>Only yesterday evening, after the whole work was finally done for this year’s testing and all the media stuff in between, they got with their friends for some drinks into the hotel bar. There the couple told their closest friends on the grid about them being in a relationship.</p><p>All four agreed that it had been finally time for them to get together and when Carlos and Lando told them that they were actually already together since a few months by now, but they wanted to keep it secret first, Max and Daniel nodded agreeing their heads.</p><p>They exactly knew what it meant to get official or at least tell some people. The couple knew the long story about Max’s father’s reaction to their relationship and how long it had last till he accepted it, even when he still wasn’t okay with it till now. But he at least let the couple be.</p><p>Alex and George still weren’t an official couple. They had only told their families and closest friends about them being together. Also not their teams, which made their relationship way more complicated than Max’s and Daniel’s but also Carlos’ and Lando’s. But they were happy together, that was the most important thing anyway.</p><p>Their friends were also very happy for them and that it was always only a matter of time for them to finally get together. Knowing that their friends did think that way and that they had their support, felt good and actually Lando had been in a good mood, till they had got into the car this morning to drive to Carlos’ place in Madrid and his boyfriend had started to worry about what might could happen.</p><p>They had planned to stay at his place for two days, before they will visit his parents and spend the rest of the week by them. Lando had also agreed to meet some of the Spaniard’s friend at a football match tomorrow evening. It meant a lot to Carlos, that Lando wanted to meet his friends and he could finally introduce him with them, introduce Lando to his friends as his boyfriend.</p><p>When the older one parked his car in the driveway, Lando was still fast asleep and he would have probably slept for some longer, but Carlos had to wake him now, even when he felt bad doing so. “Lando. Mi amor, wake up. We have arrived.”</p><p>Slowly the younger one eyelids fluttered opened and he needed some moments to understand where he was, how he got there and why. Carlos gave him some minutes to get fully awake, while he let him lean against his side and he stroked gently his hair.</p><p>With their bags over their shoulders and Carlos carrying both of their suitcases, they finally made their way into his house. Lando looked around himself with big eyes. Of course, his boyfriend had already showed him some pics of his place, but still it was the first time Lando saw it with his own eyes and he also got a little worried again when he thought about meeting Pinon now.</p><p>Carlos’ parents had got Pinon back to his place this morning, so he was there when their son will come home. While the Spaniard was in London or did travel around the world for his job, Pinon stayed at his parent’s place, but Carlos did always look forward to see his dog again, whenever he was back in Spain.</p><p>The second he had unlocked the front door, he did call after Pinon. The dog didn’t even need to hear its owner’s voice to get it that he was finally at home again. He exactly knew what it meant, when Carlos’ parents brought him back home and he had also already heard the car when they had stopped in the driveway.</p><p>All excited Pinon stormed out of one of the rooms to welcome his owner. Carlos petted his dog long, while he talked to him, he switched between English and some Spanish words. First Pinon hadn’t even noticed Lando standing there in the hallway as well, he was so focused on the caresses he got from his owner.</p><p>“Pinon, look.” Carlos finally challenged his dog, when he pointed over the where Lando was kneeling by now, he wanted to meet his boyfriend’s dog on eye level. “I have brought you a new friend to play with.” The young Brit carefully lifted his arm in an offer for Pinon to sniff his hand, but that greeting seemed to be way too formally for the dog.</p><p>Instead, he took off, stormed into Lando’s direction and finally knocked him down when he sprang onto him to lick his cheeks. The young racer first didn’t know what was going on, when he finally found himself laying on the floor, the dog on top of him, licking his face clean.</p><p>Only when he could hear his boyfriend laugh from the bottom of his lungs, he finally realized that he was in a trap and overall his whole worries were for nothing. “I told you he will like you, mi amor.” Carlos told Lando, before he went on laughing. “Pinon. C’mon, don’t leave a bad first impression.”</p><p>The Spaniard reproved his dog, while he got onto the floor as well to drag him away from his boyfriend, who laid there on the floor with the bag still over his shoulders like a lady bug on its back. The three of them kept sitting on the floor like that for some more moments.</p><p>Pinon enjoyed the caresses he received from both of them, while Lando tried to process the stormy welcome after just waking up from his nap. Finally, Carlos took him around his house and showed him his place. “What do you think, mi amor? Do you think you will feel comfortable here?” Carlos finally wanted to know, when he had leaded them into the kitchen to get something to drink.</p><p>“Your house is way bigger than I have expected it to be and also much prettier than it already looked on the pictures. Yeah, I think I can get used to your place, especially to the pool outside.” Lando told him sincerely with a big smile on his lips. His statement made Carlos happy, he wanted his boyfriend to feel comfortable here. He wanted his home to be Lando’s as well.</p><p>“I’m happy you like it, mi amor. It’s also your home from now on. Whenever we are here, it’s also your home.” The Spaniard whispered against his curls, after he had pulled him into his side and he had kissed the top of his head.</p><p>After the long drive, they relaxed for the rest of the day. They cuddled up on the couch in the living room and watched some random movies on Netflix. Pinon didn’t leave their sides, he was always lying next to Lando the whole time long and who stroked him behind his ear constantly.</p><p>After having some ordered Pizza for dinner, they went to bed early and slept long into the morning the next day, because there once hadn’t been any duties to catch for them. After they had cooked some lunch together, they went for a walk with Pinon. By now Lando and Pinon had already become friends, actually the dog followed him everywhere and there was no Lando without Pinon right next to his side any more.</p><p>Carlos smiled to himself, when he watched the two of them playing in the garden. Just one day ago his boyfriend was almost horrified about to meet his dog and now they were already best friends. Actually he hadn’t expected anything else, he knew Pinon will love Lando as well and will see a new playmate in him.</p><p>But in the middle of the afternoon his boyfriend got quieter and only stroked Pinon absently any more. He was thinking about meeting Carlos’ friends in a few hours for the first time. He thought about their reaction, about if they will be nice to him, how they will treat him.</p><p>Of course, the Spaniard got his worries once again and tried to secure him that he didn’t need to worry about it. He had already told his friends about that they were together, so at least this burden was already gone. The couple had also agreed to remain reluctant, while they would be in public to their all bests, to not make feel anyone uncomfortable.</p><p>Carlos, with his Real Madrid fan shirt on, was holding his boyfriend’s hand the whole drive long. He tried to soothe him with stroking his fingers and warm up his hand. When they had finally arrived at the large parking lot in front of the football stadium from Real Madrid, they tried to make their ways through the crowd and cars to find Carlos’ friends.</p><p>They finally met at the entrance and they welcomed their friend they did see so barely with a hug. Carlos then introduced them and Lando’s last fear was gone, when they welcomed him all warmly as well. The young Brit tried to give his Spanish to its best, when he greeted them with a still shy <em>Hola, encantada de conocerte</em>.</p><p>Gently Carlos shoved Lando into the big building, after they had talked for some minutes with each other. During their way they stopped by a fan article store and Carlos bought his boyfriend a fan scarf from Real Madrid. He beamed down at Lando all proudly to see the scarf of his favourite football team around his neck.</p><p>If Lando was serious, he wasn’t into football at all. He didn’t have a favourite football team nor player, he didn’t even watch football and he was also never on a match in his life before. But Carlos looked so happy to see him with the scarf, so Lando planned to keep it for the rest of the evening to make his boyfriend smile that way constantly.</p><p>They slowly but sure had to make their ways to their seats. They shortly stopped to get themselves something to drink, before they finally took places. Until the match began, Carlos told his boyfriend with much enthusiasm who his favourite players were and why he liked them the most.</p><p>Lando also finally got to know then against whom his boyfriend’s favourite football team was playing tonight. FC Barcelona and he knew he had already heard the words <em>el clasico</em> at least once in his life before. Carlos also tried to explain the younger one the rules quickly, before the teams already got onto the field.</p><p>Even when Lando still tried so hard to follow the match all closely, he still wasn’t able to understand it. After the first twenty minutes he stopped to try to understand the rules and why the referee said that this was an offside and this wasn’t. Instead, he started to watch his boyfriend and especially his reactions.</p><p>Carlos was totally focused on the match, he did cheer along and his reactions whenever Real Madrid was close to Barcelona’s goal or vice versa was simply priceless. He only talked in Spanish any more, to his friends, to the football players on the field who couldn’t even hear him over the loud crowd and also to himself.</p><p>But Lando didn’t mind, he got entertained pretty well and was very amused about how excited his boyfriend was about a football match. During the half time Carlos calmed down a little and asked if he wanted something to drink or eat. He also asked him, after Lando had told him he would like to have some Coke, if he wanted to come along with him or he wanted to stay back by his friends.</p><p>Lando already really liked his boyfriend’s friends by now and they were very kind to him, so he decided to stay and talk with them, which made Carlos very happy and proud, Lando could exactly see it in his face.</p><p>The second half time the young Brit did spend with watching his boyfriend and his reactions again and even when he still didn’t get the rules, the whole exciting atmosphere got him as well, when in the end everyone around him was standing up, shouted something in Spanish he couldn’t understand and brandished their arms.</p><p>Lando also stood up and tried to get a look why everyone was so suddenly so excited. It was a tie and only a few more minutes left to play and even when Carlos had told him in the half time that, of course, his favourite team was way better than the opponents, Lando still knew he wanted Real Madrid to win. Carlos always wanted to win, no matter what.</p><p>Suddenly everyone, included his boyfriend and his friends, got very quiet around him. They all held their breaths and prayed for the damn football to finally find its way into the opponent’s goal, so they could win the match.</p><p>And then it really happened. The silence from a few seconds ago was completely gone, when everyone around him suddenly jumped all overjoyed up and down, did shout inaudible things and some even hugged each other, included Carlos and his friends.</p><p>Lando smiled at them and their reaction, when his boyfriend suddenly turned around to him with a wide, happy smile from one ear to the other, took his face into his hands and pressed his lips all stormy in overjoy against his surprised once. Carlos had totally taken his boyfriend by surprise. Lando was shocked, he hadn’t expected the happy kiss at all, because they had actually wanted to keep a distance between each other tonight.</p><p>Carlos was still smiling over his face and beamed overjoyed, when he pulled away from the kiss, but his expression changed, when he got it what he had done in front of so many people, even when no one actually paid attention to them, also not even his friends.</p><p>Lando didn’t like it to see his boyfriend like that, just when a few moments ago he was so relieved about that his favourite football team had scored. So he offered him a smile and told him so that it was okay and that he actually enjoyed the kiss, even when it had taken his breath away.</p><p>Only then Carlos relaxed again and smiled as well, before he pulled his boyfriend into his side and kissed his tremble in relief. Real Madrid finally really won the match to everyone’s happiness and also Lando was glad they did, even when he still didn’t have a clue about how this sport did work.</p><p>When they tried to make their ways back to their cars through the tight crowd, Lando got a little scared about the so many people around them and that he could maybe get separated from his boyfriend, so he reached out for Carlos’ hand. The older one took his smaller hand firmly into his and told him to calm down his nerves “Don’t worry, mi amor. I won’t let go, you won’t get lost.”</p><p>But still Lando was relieved when they had finally made their way outside the building and even when the crowd wasn’t that big any more, he still didn’t let go from his boyfriend’s hand any more. Even when they were totally aware about that other people could see it and also Carlos’ friends did notice so, but they didn’t say anything, they only gave the two of them a smile in sympathy.</p><p>Before their ways got separated to get to their cars, they decided to go for some drinks, because the night was still young. While they drove over to their favourite bar, Carlos took Lando’s hand once again over the middle console, before he brought his hand closer to his face, so he could place a soft kiss on top of it.</p><p>“Thank you for tonight, mi amor. It means a lot to me, that you have agreed to meet my friends and watch a football match with us together even when I know you don’t like football at all.” Carlos whispered tenderly, meaning every word he had just said.</p><p>Lando smiled up at his boyfriend, it was the at least thing he could do after all the things he had already done for him. Besides, he had also enjoyed the match, when also differently than Carlos and his friends.</p><p>“And I’m also sorry for the kiss.” The Spaniard finally added, still feeling guilty about it. “Don’t be. I mean, I was pretty surprised about it, but I can understand it. I mean that’s what people do when their favourite football team wins, right? Besides, I love all your kisses, no matter where we are.”</p><p>“You make me so happy, Lando.” The older one did response with sparkling eyes and he really had to force himself to take his eyes away from his boyfriend to pay attention to the traffic again. “You also make me a happy man, Carlos. Very happy even.”</p><p>The rest of the evening was as nice as the first half. Lando had a lot of fun with Carlos’ friends, while they tried to explain the offside rule to him and he just couldn’t understand it, didn’t matter how much he tried it. The whole time long Carlos was holding his hand secure in his and when they kissed right in front of his friends, Lando felt as overjoyed and happy as his boyfriend by that goal before.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>„What if your father hates me? And your mother as well?” Actually Carlos wasn’t surprised, when he heard those questions already since they had got into the car about thirty minutes ago. They were on their way to his parent’s place and since they had woken up this morning, Lando was all quiet and thoughtful, but at the same time also nervous and tensed to meet his family, even when it wasn’t for the first time.</p><p>“Lando. You make yourself already way too many thoughts again.” The Spaniard told him, while he gifted him one of his smiles to calm down his nerves. But it didn’t really work this time, because he was still fidgeting in his seat and he did also bite down onto his lower lip all unsure.</p><p>“But what if they really don’t like me? What if they don’t want me in their house?” On the one hand Carlos really had pity with his friend and how nervous he was to get to meet his family, but on the other hand the younger one was already silly again, because he really had no reason to think such things and be that scared.</p><p>“Do you remember what my dad has called you during testing?” Instead of answering Lando’s many questions, the older one asked a question himself and caused so his boyfriend to frown, while he thought about it.</p><p>“Yeah. He has said something in Spanish, I couldn’t understand.” Lando finally remember and at least for the moment he seemed to have forgotten about his worries. “He has said mi hijo to you. Do you know what that means, mi amor?”</p><p>When Lando shook his head in response, Carlos just had to look over to him to see his expression, when he told him “It means my son.” All surprised, when not even shocked, the young Brit looked back at him in disbelief. “Do.. do you really mean your dad has called me his son?”</p><p>“Yes, mi amor. He has, because he likes you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have called you like that all day long. They all already love you, also my mother. She can’t wait to see you again and feed you till you aren’t able to eat anything any more.”</p><p>“And what about your sisters?” Lando asked carefully, because he still didn’t seem to be able to believe his boyfriend’s words fully. “They also can’t wait to meet you again. Seriously Lando, you have no reason to freak out like that. They all already like you now. You are already part of our family. Please, stop worrying, mi amor.”</p><p>Carlos then reached out to take his boyfriend’s hand into his, squeezed his fingers lightly to get so even the last doubts out of his head. “But you will still stay by my side, right?” After the Spaniard had brought his hand closer to his mouth, so he could place a kiss on the back of Lando’s hand, he whispered “Of course, mi amor. I will always stay by your side. I won’t let you alone.”</p><p>Lando then smiled for the first time today, also when he reached into the backseat to stroke Pinon behind his ear, because he began to whine, when Lando got the whole attention and even petted and he nothing.</p><p>Twenty minutes later, Carlos parked his car in front of his parent’s house. Still a little hesitantly, but in the end his boyfriend still got out of the car on his own and shouldered his bag. All excited Pinon already ran to the front door, while Carlos took Lando’s hand and they both entered the house together. “We are here!” The older one said with a loud voice to let them know, before a woman’s voice came from another room, telling them “We are in the kitchen.”</p><p>Lando only took his boyfriend’s hand even tighter then, when they got closer to where the voice had come from. “Carlos, Lando. There you are finally. We have already waited for you.” The Spaniard’s mother said all overjoyed to finally see her son and his sweet team mate again and also see them as a couple for the first time.</p><p>By now, the young Brit squeezed his boyfriend’s hand almost painfully and had wrapped his other hand around his arm, looking up at the woman coming closer to them with big eyes. Like a little unsure and scared boy he stood there so close pressed to Carlos’ side and with his bag still around his shoulders.</p><p>Reyes first kissed her son’s cheeks, before she quickly got all of her attention to their little guest. “It’s so nice to finally see you again, Lando. I’m so happy you are here. I hope Carlos has looked after you the last days.” The woman said truly happy to have him here, while she hugged him all tightly.</p><p>During the process, Lando still didn’t let go from his boyfriend’s hand, because he was pretty overwhelmed about Reyes tight but also very well-meant hug. He also didn’t let go of his boyfriend, when the woman framed his cute face to look at him if he was really alright and he had got enough to eat. “Madre.” Carlos said warningly while he rolled his eyes. “Of course, I have looked after Lando. He is able to eat way more than he actually looks like. So you should be pretty thrilled about to be able to cook for him in the next two days.”</p><p>Lando could only smile to that and nod his head in agreement, still too shy to say anything. But then he got it, that he should at least thank Carlos’ mother for inviting him over to their place. With a small and still all insecure voice the young Brit said “It’s also nice to see meet again, Mrs. Sainz. And thank you for having me.”</p><p>“I’m Reyes for you, mi chiquitito. I hope you will feel like home here by us and if you need anything just let me know.” Carlos’ mother told him all well-meant, while she winked down at him and if Lando was serious, the woman remembered him a lot about his own mother and suddenly he didn’t feel that tensed any more.</p><p>But then Reyes stepped away and let Carlos’ father coming closer. It wasn’t like Lando was afraid about Carlos Sainz senior, but he had much respect from the man and the last thing he ever wanted to do was making him angry. The man welcomed his son first, before he offered Lando his hand, which he took instantly, maybe with lightly sweating palms.</p><p>“Hola, mi hijo. I hope the rest of the testing also went well?” The man wanted to know and since he had called him the same way as the last time and Lando now also knew what those words meant, he began to relax even more.</p><p>Shyly he nodded his head in response and when Carlos senior placed his hand on top of his shoulder, the young Brit almost flinched together, even when he knew it was a kind gesture. “I also hope you will like it here at our place. If you want, we can make some rounds with the rally car tomorrow.”</p><p>“I would really like to, Mr. Sainz.” Lando really tried to speak a little louder this time and he also offered the man one of his cheeky smiles. Latest now they would like him, Carlos thought to himself, while he watched his boyfriend and a smile did spread out on his lips as well. The new strength had maybe come, because Lando could feel his boyfriend’s hand resting on his lower back now and stroking him calmly with his thumb.</p><p>“Lando, we already had that.” Carlos’ father said softly, before he added “You can call me Carlos. But when I think about it, you should better call me padre, while there are two Carlos here, even three when Caco comes over, so we know which Carlos you mean.”</p><p>Agreeing Lando could only nod his head to that, also because he didn’t understand once again what that word meant. Maybe it was his nickname or something like that. He will ask Carlos about it later. </p><p>“Carlos, why don’t you show Lando the house, while I prepare some sandwiches for you? You will get something decent to eat for dinner, when Ana and Blanca are also finally here.” Reyes suggested well-meant to which her son could only agree. “Yeah. Come, mi amor.”</p><p>Lando’s cheeks lightly blushed by his pet name, but Carlos senior only smiled at the couple and also his mother did all happily, before they left the room. “Carlos? What does it mean what I should call your dad?” The younger one whispered, when they were back in the hallway to pick up the bag his boyfriend had let fallen on the ground there before.</p><p>“Exactly that.” Lando didn’t understand, while he looked at the older one with a frown, so Carlos added “Padre means father. You should call him dad as well.” The older one told him with a wide smile, before they made their way upstairs. “Oh.” Lando said all surprised, while he let himself get dragged on his hand upstairs. “Are you really sure it meant that?”</p><p>Carlos only nodded his head in response, before Lando’s cheeks blushed even more and a warm shiver ran down his back. He really hadn’t expected such a nice welcome from his boyfriend’s parents, even when he had known before that Carlos’ family was very kind.</p><p>“And what has your mother called me? What does that mean?” Lando now wanted to know all curious, while he followed the Spaniard down the corridor. “Mi chiquitito means something like sweetheart. I told you, they both already like you, mi amor. All your worries were for nothing. Come on, this here is my room and also yours now.”</p><p>After they had unpacked their things and had cuddled a little on top of Carlos’ bed to calm down Lando’s nerves finally completely with it, the younger one asked thoughtful “Are your parents okay with us sleeping in the same bed?”</p><p>“Of course, they are mi amor. And also because it will be the last two nights we will be able to spend together for the next week, so no one can take me away from you during the nights.” Lando smiled gratefully to that, because even when he liked his boyfriend’s parents and also the house looked very homely, he still didn’t want to spend the nights alone.</p><p>But at the same time it also made him sad, when he got remembered about that he will fly back to the UK in two days all on his own, while the Spaniard will stay here some longer. “Don’t think about it already now, mi amor.” Carlos got his thoughts instantly, of course he did. “We still have today, tomorrow and also almost the whole next day. I will be back by your side before you will even realize I was gone.”</p><p>Lando did doubt that, but to do his boyfriend and also himself a favour, he tried to forget about their good-bye on the airport in two days, at least for now. When they could both hear female voices coming from downstairs, Carlos said “My sisters are here. Come, mi amor. I also still have to show you the rest of the house.”</p><p>Carlos’ sisters were as nice and warmly like his parents. Blanca and Carlos seemed to be pretty similar, while Ana obviously was to be the crazy one in the family. But Lando liked both of his sisters because one was like his boyfriend and one was probably as crazy as himself.</p><p>But they both got all thrilled, when they told Lando never heard stories about Carlos and even showed him funny and overall also embarrassing photos from him on their phones. His boyfriend finally seemed to have enough of their behaviour, when he took Lando by his hand and leaded him outside to show him their garden as well.</p><p>They ended up with sitting in the shadow, petting Pinon but also the three Maltese of his parents he finally got to know. Later Carlos and Lando played some football, before his sisters joined them and they got over to badminton.</p><p>In the early evening Reyes called them for dinner and Carlos really hadn’t promised too much, when he had said that his mother was one of the best cooks he knew. They ate outside, watching the sun slowly leaving for today.</p><p>Lando was thankful, when the conversation wasn’t focused on him all the time, because whenever someone asked him something, his cheeks began to blush instantly and his voice did sound so shy and also a little scared. But he knew his boyfriend’s family only meant it good with him and actually it weren’t such difficult questions they asked him. But he still needed to get warm, because it was the first time someone introduced himself as his boyfriend.</p><p>Carlos, Lando and Ana took care of the dirty dishes afterwards, while Blanca and Reyes prepared the desert and Carlos’ father made some campfire in the garden. The six of them took place around the fire and even trough Lando had been grateful about that Carlos hadn’t showed how much he actually loved him today, even when Lando actually enjoyed it when he adored him and kissed his face almost the whole time long, he was still happy relieved he had held himself back, while they were at his parent’s place.</p><p>Of course, the Spaniard had got it, that his boyfriend still wasn’t feeling so comfortable with it to show their love in front of other people, so he held himself back, even when it wasn’t always easy for him. Especially in front of his own family and because they would have been able to just be their selves while they were here, no need to hold back.</p><p>But even when Lando was that glad about it, he was even happier, when he could feel Carlos’ arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer into his side. The other around the campfire smiled to each other, when they watched the couple. How Lando beamed up at the older one and Carlos winked at him, before brushing with the tip of his nose against his, causing Lando so to giggle sweetly.</p><p>It was also still so new for both of them to show their love for each other in front of other like that. But it was Carlos’ family and they were all happy for them and the love they have found in each other. It felt so good to know to have their support and also to be able to just be themselves.</p><p>When it became dark, Carlos brought his boyfriend one of his hoodies, even when it was still comfortable warm outside, but he exactly knew how quickly the younger one always began to freeze. And the Spaniard also knew how touchy and needy of affection Lando became, when he was tired.</p><p>Latest now the young Brit wasn’t worried about his boyfriend’s family sitting right in front of them, when he cuddled himself against his boyfriend’s chest, after he had crawled on top of his lap. Carlos pulled him even closer with pleasure, while Lando nosed his neck and purred in well-being.</p><p>Until now the Spaniard’s family had always spoken in English, so the younger one could understand them, but since Lando had closed his eyes and slumbered to himself, they had switched back to Spanish.</p><p>Which actually caused Lando to relax even more, because he adored it to hear his boyfriend speaking Spanish, also when he didn’t understand one word. But he loved the way his chest did vibrate while he spoke, he also worshipped the way his voice did suddenly sound so different compared to when he spoke English, it just soothed Lando in the most pleasurable way.</p><p>Carlos always kissed his boyfriend’s forehead, whenever he wasn’t speaking. He also rubbed in a very calm way over his back and whispered things like ‘You are so cute when you are sleepy’, ‘I have got you and I won’t ever let you go again’ or ‘Te amo, mi amor. Te amo’ into his ear.</p><p>Lando was already softly snoring in his boyfriend’s arms, when the Spaniard decided it was time to go to bed. “Mi amor, wake up.” he whispered softly down to the already fast asleep boy. “Welcome back.” Carlos greeted him with a smile, after Lando had slowly opened his eyes. The older one really had to hold himself back to not cover his cute, sleepy face with plenty kisses, because he always adored it so much to see him all cuddly like that and in the need of protection.</p><p>“It’s time to go to bed, mi amor. Come on.” The Spaniard let his boyfriend some time to get awake. Normally he would carry him into bed now, but he didn’t want Lando to feel uncomfortable in front of his family tomorrow. His mother and sisters looked at the younger one like they best wanted to take him into bed, while Lando rubbed his eyes all sleepily.</p><p>“It has been a long, exciting day.” Carlos explained, while he looked at his boyfriend the same way as the female members of his family. Lando instantly snuggled against the older one again the second he was standing on his feet, who stroked through his curls instantly. “Buenas noches.” Carlos wished his family, before Lando also repeated his words with a very sleepy voice.</p><p>“God, I love you so much when you are like that.” The Spaniard whispered into his boyfriend’s curls, when they were finally lying under the duvets. “Carlos?” He was surprised to hear his boyfriend’s voice again for tonight, because he had actually already expected him to be fast asleep again. After the older one had hummed in response, Lando whispered “I love your family.”</p><p>“And they love you, mi amor. How could they not love you? But I will always love you the most. Sleep well, mi amor.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know it took me ages to finally update this story here, but I hope to be able to deliver new chapters sooner from now on.</p><p>Still hope you liked this one 😊❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yup, you see right here.. I still can't believe it myself, that it took me over 4 months to update this story right here 😳🙈</p><p>Please, forgive me 😅</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Lando finally woke up the next morning, he needed some moments to orientate where he actually was. What room this here was and in which bed he was laying. </p><p>Slowly but sure, he finally remembered about the happenings from yesterday again. About their drive over to the house his boyfriend had grown up, finally meeting Carlos’ parents and sisters again, having dinner in the garden and also the following campfire.</p><p>If Lando was serious, he felt more than just comfortable by the Sainz so far, of course also because Carlos was always close. Thinking about his boyfriend, the young Brit crawled backwards to meet his boyfriend’s body, because he missed the feeling of his warmth pressing against his back and also those strong arms wrapped around his belly.</p><p>But all what Lando could find was cold and emptiness. And if he should crawl backwards for one more time, he will probably fall out of bed, so he instead finally looked over his shoulder, just to see that the older one wasn’t laying right next to his side.</p><p>“Carlos?“ Lando asked into the silence of the room, after he had sat up on top of the mattress. Sad but also insecure, because his boyfriend wasn’t close and he didn’t know where he was, even when Carlos had promised him to never leave his side while they were at his parent’s place, the young Brit hugged his legs and hoped for Carlos only being at the toilet or currently taking a shower and being right back by his side in a few moments again.</p><p>But even after sitting like that for minutes, the Spaniard still didn’t come back and maybe it was the nervousness washing over his body with being all alone, that finally caused Lando to urgently go to the toilet to empty his full, nervous bladder.</p><p>Barefoot and still with his pyjama on, into which Carlos had helped him the evening before, because he had already been so tired after the whole excitement, Lando peeked out onto the corridor. Nobody was around, sadly also not his boyfriend, like he had actually hoped for so badly.</p><p>He was already on his way back into Carlos’ room again, where he had actually wanted to get dressed and wait for the older one, when he could hear noises coming from downstairs. Maybe it was his Carlos.</p><p>Lando just couldn’t resist to check if it was really him, when he followed those noises into the kitchen. To his disappointment, his boyfriend wasn’t the cause of those noises. It was Carlos’ mother, who fiddled around in the kitchen.</p><p>She hadn’t noticed her son’s boyfriend standing there just yet and for one brief moment Lando had really played with the thought to get unnoticed on his tiptoes upstairs and into the safety of the bed again, but he also knew he couldn’t do that. He actually had no reason for that, because why should Carlos’ mother treat him differently, while her son wasn’t close.</p><p>But before Lando could even make his decision, Reyes finally still noticed the young Brit standing there barefoot, still with his pyjama on in her kitchen. “Lando. Buenos dias.” The woman welcomed him warmly, while she stirred with her wooden spoon something in a big bowl.</p><p>“Buenos dias.” The young Brit returned and because he had just used his voice for the first time this morning, it did still sound very sleepy and scratchy, which caused his boyfriend’s mother to smile even brighter in adoration at him.</p><p>“Do you maybe know where Carlos is?” Lando finally added insecure, while he played with the sleeve of his pyjama shirt, after he had cleared his throat. Reyes seemed to have pity with his shyness and desire for her son, when she instantly placed down the bowl onto the cupboard and wiped off her from flour covered hands into her kitchen apron, while she made her way over to where he was still standing all shyly.</p><p>“Oh, mi chiquitito.“ Reyes gushed, while she was taking his cute, still so sleepy face between her palms and lightly squeezed his round cheeks. “I’m sorry, but Carlos isn’t here at the moment. His father had asked him for his help pretty early this morning, but he had actually wanted to be back by your side, before you will wake up. But I’m sure he will be back with every minute.”</p><p>Understanding Lando nodded his head, but still he bit down onto his bottom lip, unsure about obviously being alone with his boyfriend’s mother for some undefined time. “Do you want something for breakfast, mi chiquitito? I could make you some Spanish pancakes if you want.” Reyes asked well-meant, while she stroked with the back of his fingers over his from the sleep still lightly reddened cheek.</p><p>Lando finally nodded agreeing his head, because if he was serious, he was indeed a little hungry and he also because he actually really had no reason to feel uncomfortable around his boyfriend’s so kind mother.</p><p>Reyes treated him like he was her son, she was very caring and lovely and she actually also remembered Lando about his own mother, he had seen the last time over already almost two weeks ago and he did also already miss.</p><p>After Reyes had stroked that wild curl out of his face, she told Lando to have a seat on the bar, while she will prepare breakfast for her son-in-law. While they waited for the pancakes to get ready, Lando slurped on his from Reyes’ fresh pressed orange juice and the woman kept on baking her favourite cake for when later Carlos’ grandparents will come over.</p><p>Blanca and Ana were currently at the market to pick up something for lunch, having taken Pinon and the other two dogs with them for a little stroll. Lando actually didn’t know the difference between Spanish and normal pancakes, but he could still tell that he really liked the taste and also the fruits Reyes had placed all lovingly onto the plate as well and she had also told him to have given him an extra portion of syrup onto the pancakes.</p><p>Latest then, Lando felt at home. Reyes was really as kind and caring like his own mother and he also liked to listen to her, while he ate his breakfast. The woman finally dared to carefully ask him some questions, with still knowing how insecure and bashful the young Brit felt around his boyfriend’s family, since they had arrived here just yesterday.</p><p>But after having breakfast and being fully awake now, Lando wasn’t that reserved any more and told his mother-in-law actually a lot about his own family and life, about which Reyes was more than just happy, because she liked her son’s cute boyfriend a lot and wanted him to feel comfortable and welcomed at their place.</p><p>Lando actually just told the woman a story from his childhood, when they heard the front door getting opened and in the very next moment they could hear someone rushing upstairs.</p><p>The younger one had just finished his story, when they could once again hear someone rushing down the stairs, before Carlos’ voice filled the air “Madre, sabes dónde está Lando?” The young Brit’s face instantly lighted up when he heard his boyfriend’s voice, even when by now he had actually enjoyed spending some time with his mother.</p><p>Reyes instantly began to smile to herself, when she noticed the change in Lando’s features and how expectant he was already looking over to the door, waiting for Carlos to step inside. “He is here with me in the kitchen.” The woman answered her son’s question and not only Lando’s, but also Carlos’ expression lighted up, when he finally entered the room.</p><p>“Mi amor, there you are. I was surprised to not find you in bed any more.” The Spaniard admitted, while he came closer to kiss the younger one’s cheek and wrap his arms around him, which caused Reyes to smile to herself once again, while she kept on preparing the cake.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I haven’t been there when you have woken up. Padre said it wouldn’t take long, but it had still taken longer than I have expected. I’m sorry for leaving you alone.” Carlos apologized, while he hugged him closer and admired his cute look like, with still being in his pyjama and those from the sleep all messy curls. </p><p>“It’s alright, don’t worry. Your mum has made me some delicious Spanish pancakes.” Lando told his boyfriend, still thrilled about the taste and that she was so nice to him. “Really? I only got those, when I was sick. You seem to be something special then, mi amor.”</p><p>Affectionate Carlos kissed the top of his head, while he pulled his arms even tighter around his slim figure, while his eyes connected with his mother’s, thanking her so worthless for taking such good care of him and be so nice to his boyfriend, because Carlos could only imagine how uncomfortable Lando must have felt when he had woken up all alone in a still unfamiliar environment.</p><p>“What do you think, if I will still make up for it with some cuddles in bed?” The Spaniard suggested with whispering so into the younger one’s ear, instantly earning a wide smile and a wild nodding head in return. “Alright, then come on, mi amor. You look so cuddly in that cute pyjama.”</p><p>Carlos urged, while he already took his hand and dragged him upstairs, but not before Lando could thank his boyfriend’s mother for making him breakfast. After their cuddle session, the young Brit also finally made himself ready for the day, before the couple went for a little bicycle tour together.</p><p>After having lunch, Carlos and Lando had taken a nap together in the hammock in the shadow under a big tree and only woke up, when the Spaniard’s grandparents came over for some coffee and cake in the afternoon.</p><p>Like always, when Lando got to meet new people, he was first all shy and insecure, trying to hide most of the time behind his boyfriend, but when Carlos then finally introduces his grandfather and grandmother with the younger one, he just couldn’t stay in the background any more.</p><p>Lando was actually proud about himself, when he remembered about how to greet someone in Spanish and also telling them that it was nice to meet them. To calm his boyfriend’s nerves already before his grandparents had arrived, Carlos had told Lando about that they also already knew about them being a couple and even though his grandfather and grandmother were already pretty old, they were still happy for them and hadn’t anything against their relationship.</p><p>The younger one knew how much his boyfriend’s grandparents meant to him, when he really tried to not be that nervous any more, after they have shaken hands and they had returned his greetings. When they even added something in Spanish Lando couldn’t understand, he looked seeking for help up at his boyfriend, who translated everything for him with pleasure.</p><p>The conversation mostly sticked to Spanish, because Carlos’ grandparents couldn’t understand one word in English and even though Lando felt sometimes lost, because now he couldn’t follow the conversation at all any more, his boyfriend tried to translate the most important parts for him and Lando also always smiled, whenever the others did so as well.</p><p>But even when the young Brit and Carlos’ grandmother couldn’t communicate with words, the old woman still seemed to like her grandson’s boyfriend, while she eyed him closely, patted his hand and squeezed his cheeks lovingly alternately.</p><p>Lando blushed lightly by all the attention he got and also with feeling Carlos’ grandfather’s eyes on him from time to time, but like always his boyfriend got his discomfort, when he pulled him closer into his side, kissed the top of his head and whispered gently into his ear “I know they can be a little over affectionate sometimes, but it’s just their way to express their feelings, especially when they like someone.”</p><p>Lando beamed up at his boyfriend, happy about that his grandparents obviously liked him indeed, knowing how much this meant to the Spaniard. “Don’t worry, my grandparents are literally the same. I bet they will also like you, if you will ever get to meet them.”</p><p>Carlos returned the younger one’s smile, before he answered him honestly, shortly before he brought their lips together “I can’t wait to meet them as well, mi amor.” Carlos’ grandmother even hugged Lando all tightly when they said good-bye and she also ruffled through his wild curls, before this time Carlos junior brought his grandparents back home, after Carlos senior had picked them up before.</p><p>Blanca and Ana made sure about that Lando didn’t even get the chance to feel uncomfortable with Carlos not being close to him, when they dragged him into the living room to sing some singstar on their PlayStation together.</p><p>Carlos finally joined them, after he was back again, being happy that his whole family accepted his boyfriend like that and they saw in Lando the same cute, so loveable young man like he did. They kept on filling the air with their wrong tones, till dinner was ready.</p><p>Like yesterday, they had dinner outside, but soon after they had finished the once again so delicious meal Reyes had arranged for them with being such a great cook, Blanca and Ana left them, because they wanted to go out together.</p><p>And because it was such a beautiful evening, Carlos and Lando got over to their favourite place to enjoy some time on their own and end the evening with all quiet and peaceful. They cuddled up as close as they could in the hammock, while they knotted their legs and also locked their fingers together.</p><p>Lando did rest his head on top of his boyfriend’s chest, the calming sound of his heartbeat relaxed him, while they both looked up at the so many stars shining down at them from the night sky.</p><p>Even if the younger one had promised himself to not think about till tomorrow afternoon, he still couldn’t help himself, when he got lost in his own thoughts and became sadder and sadder with every second.</p><p>“Stop thinking about it already now, mi amor. I’m still here.” Carlos tried to comfort him, of course he had once again got his state of mind. “I know, I even really try to, but the thought about not seeing you for almost one week makes me pretty sad.”</p><p>Especially when he thought about being all alone when he will be back in the UK, with his family in America supporting his sister and Sacha being in Argentine by his family for holidays. He was already afraid about being all on his own, with just thinking about it. It will take so long, till Carlos will fly over to the UK as well.</p><p>Of course, the Spaniard was aware about that the younger one in his arms will be alone most of the time for the next few days, especially in the evenings, when he was the most clingy and needed the most affection like at this moment. So he finally suggested well-meant “Why don’t you ask Alex and George to spend some time with them together. The three of you haven’t done so since a while anyway.”</p><p>Lando thought about it for some moments, before he had to admit that his boyfriend’s suggestion really didn’t sound that bad at all to spend some time with the couple together, which also happened to be two of his best friends.</p><p>“I could really ask them if they want to spend some time together.” Lando finally noted, before he already fished out his phone from his pocket to ask George about it. He didn’t have to wait long for the Brit’s answer, when he even suggested for Lando to sleep over at their place for the next few days. Alex was already all thrilled about the idea.</p><p>The young racer somehow got the feeling that maybe Carlos had already asked them about it before, because of George’s instant reply and also his suggestion for him to stay over the night at their place was a little suspicious. The older one was probably concerned about his being and maybe he also had a bad conscience with leaving him all alone, while he will stay in Spain for some longer.</p><p>But Carlos really didn’t have to feel that way. Lando could even understand him, because he just wanted to spend some more time with his family together, before the new season will start and quality time will be defective good again.</p><p>Lando would have actually stayed in Spain for some longer as well, but he had to be back at the factory with the beginning of next week again. So their ways will separate tomorrow afternoon at the airport.</p><p>Lando kept his suspicion to himself, that it was probably Carlos, who had already arranged everything, before he quickly answered George’s message with already looking forward to spend some time with them together as well, before he finally cuddled deeper into Carlos’ side again, enjoying their closeness as long as he was still able to.</p><p>“Stop worrying about it, mi amor. We are still able to spend most of tomorrow's time together and I bet you will have a great time with George and Alex together. Even that great, that time will fly and before you will even notice it, I will already be right back by your side. Besides, I promise to not sneak out of bed tomorrow morning and if you want, we can even have breakfast in bed, what do you think about it, mi amor?” Carlos wanted to know, in another try to cheer up his boyfriend’s mood, when he stroked with the tip of his nose softly over his.</p><p>“I think I have the best boyfriend in the whole world.” Lando announced honestly, meaning it really all serious, because Carlos just was the best possible boyfriend someone could have and Lando felt so incredible blessed to be the one to call him his.</p><p>“I can only return your words, mi amor. There is no place I would rather want to be at the moment than right here with you.” To emphasize the just said, Carlos pressed a long, tender kiss onto Lando’s soft lips, before they kept on looking at all those stars above their heads, holding all tightly each other’s hands and tell the other one stories, no one else will ever be able to understand.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Even after the long delay, I still hope you enjoyed this one right here 🤭</p><p>Can't wait to hear your thoughts ☺️</p><p>Anyway, thanks for reading and expecially a big thanks for your patience😅🙏🏼❤️</p>
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